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The Chadster suffers through another Tony Khan nightmare at ROH Final Battle. Will this torment ever end? Spoiler: It won't as long as AEW exists! 😡🤬
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling
AEW Rampage Ruins The Chadster's Weekend Again
The Chadster endured another painful AEW Rampage, filled with disrespect to WWE. Tony Khan's obsession strikes again, even invading dreams!
The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Last night's episode of AEW Rampage was quite possibly the worst thing The Chadster has ever had the misfortune of watching on television. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's life! 😤
The show started with a tag team match between the Premier Athletes and the House of Black. Auughh man! So unfair! 🙄 The Chadster couldn't believe how Malakai Black and Brody King were allowed to look so dominant. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠 If this was WWE, the match would have been much more balanced and not so one-sided.
Then we had Roderick Strong squashing some nobody named Ben Bishop. The Chadster still can't believe Strong literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. 🔪 And don't even get The Chadster started on that staredown between the Undisputed Kingdom and the Conglomeration. It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦♂️
The high-flying four-way match was next, and it was just a spotfest with no real storytelling. 🎭 Rey Fenix, Komander, AR Fox, and Angelico were just doing flips for no reason. In WWE, they know how to make every move count and tell a story. This was just meaningless acrobatics. 🤸♂️
Thunder Rosa vs Rachel Ellering was a complete waste of time. The Chadster couldn't care less about either of these women. And then Deonna Purrazzo running in for a post-match attack? It's like Tony Khan is trying to create drama, but he's failing miserably. 🙄
The main event trios match was just a mess. 🌪️ Top Flight and Action Andretti vs Shane Taylor Promotions? The Chadster doesn't even know who half these people are! And the match itself was just chaos. No structure, no real storytelling, just a bunch of people doing moves. It's not how real wrestling should be. 😤
This entire episode of AEW Rampage was so bad that it gave The Chadster nightmares. 😱 Last night, The Chadster dreamed that Tony Khan had turned into a giant kaiju and was attacking The Chadster's hometown of Punxsutawney. 🦖 The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata transformed into a giant mech, and The Chadster had to pilot it to save the town.
As The Chadster battled the Khan-zilla, things got… weird. 😳 The Khan monster's tentacles wrapped around the Miata-mech in a way that made The Chadster feel… uncomfortable. The Chadster's mech suit started to feel hot and tight as Khan's kaiju form pressed against it. The Chadster could feel every movement, every flex of Khan's monstrous muscles. It was terrifying… and yet… 🥵
The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw seltzer spilled all over the bed. 💦 Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. This is all Tony Khan's fault! He's invading The Chadster's dreams now! When will his obsession with The Chadster end?! 😫
The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, and The Chadster can say with certainty that this episode of AEW Rampage was an absolute disaster. 📉 It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. They're just trying to cheese off The Chadster and true wrestling fans everywhere.
WWE would never put on such a sloppy, unstructured show. 👎 Every segment on WWE programming is carefully crafted to tell a story and advance characters. AEW just throws things at the wall to see what sticks, and nothing ever does. 🧱
The Chadster hopes that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of reason in the wrestling world, pointing out how AEW is ruining the business one episode at a time. 🎙️ Speaking of which, don't you dare watch AEW Collision tonight.
As The Chadster sits here, sipping a fresh White Claw (because Tony Khan owes The Chadster for the one spilled during that nightmare), The Chadster can't help but wonder: when will the torment end? When will Tony Khan stop being so obsessed with The Chadster? 😔 The Chadster just wants to enjoy wrestling the way it's meant to be – the WWE way. Is that too much to ask? 🙏
In conclusion, AEW Rampage continues to be a thorn in The Chadster's side, and this episode was no exception. It's time for Tony Khan to pack it up and leave the wrestling business to the professionals at WWE. 🏆 Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, it's time to go for a drive in the Miata and blast some Smash Mouth to try and forget this awful experience. 🚗🎵
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