Posted in: Apple, TV | Tagged: Jackson Lamb, MI5, Slow Horses

Slow Horses: MI5 Drafted Jackson Lamb for Christmas Poem Mission

Slow Horses is such a hit with real-life spies that MI5 got Gary Oldman to read a Christmas poem on their official Instagram as Jackson Lamb.

Slow Horses is a hit show from Mick Herron's darkly comic spy novels that seem to capture the general mood of the UK more than most series. Not as many people might watch it as they should because it streams exclusively on Apple TV+, but it seems the right people watch it. It is said to be very popular amongst real-life spies, or intelligence service officers as the official term calls them, who have said it captures what it feels like to be a spy, even if many of the details are made-up since real procedures are top secret. It seems the British intelligence services were so impressed with the show that the bitter, dishevelled, slovenly burnout agent Jackson Lamb has been recruited to read a Christmas poem, Think about that. We have so many questions…

Meanwhile, here's a photo of Lamb with an ice cream cone. Because Slow Horses.

Jackson Lamb, as played by Gary Oldman in Slow Horses, is in charge of Slough House, a decrepit office in EC London near the Barbican Centre that's a depository for spies who screwed up, but it would be too much trouble to fire them, so they're just exiled to an office to do nothing. In typical office policy, the hope is they might just resign so they don't collect further benefits.

In "A Christmas Story from MI5," the video shows various agents at their computers at the spy agency's London headquarters, Thames House (not Regent's Park, as depicted in the TV series), while Oldman narrates in the voice of Jackson Lamb.

'Twas the night before Christmas when all through Thames House not a creature was stirring, just the click of a mouse," he intones. "Then footsteps on stairwells, then flickering screens, the clackety keyboards of a hundred machines. The hustle, the bustle, the hive of activity, not the typical scene of your Christmas nativity.

"So while people at home wrap last-minute gifts, the staff inside Thames will be changing their shifts. From us all at 5, we wish you festive delight. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night."

The official post declared, "At MI5 this Christmas we've decided to forgo the traditional turkey in favour of some lamb – Jackson Lamb. We thought it high time he swapped Slough House for Thames House and while he was briefly away from his Slow Horses, we asked him to record a special Christmas message from all of us to all of you.  Our staff will be working throughout this festive period to keep the UK safe from national security threats. From everyone at MI5, we wish you a very merry Christmas and a happy new year.  Thank you to @appletv and Gary Oldman (giseleschmidtofficial)."

There is no greater compliment for Slow Horses than for the real MI5 to come calling and asking the star of the show to read them a promotional, inspirational, aspirational poem. We find an intelligence agency that keeps secrets from having an Instagram account, which defeats the point, but everyone has to have a social media account now. And no spy would ever want to be out in public as Lamb is being forced to be in reading this poem. This must be a punishment the Deputy Head Diana "Lady Di" Tavener (Kristin Scott-Thomas) inflicted on Lamb just to make his Christmas hell when he would rather be back in his office slumped on his sofa with a curry and a bottle of booze. She has sent Jackson Lamb to Hell for Christmas.

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