French Teens on Le Dole Blow Government Cheese on Manga Binge

In a new report proving once and for all that Frederic Wertham was right, The New York Times reports that French teenagers on the dole are pouring money handed out by the government into manga. "Young people can buy books, tickets and classes via a government smartphone app," writes rightly panicked Times reporter Aurelien Breeden, "But rather than discovering highbrow arts, many are choosing mass media they already love."

Culture pass is a smartphone app launched by the French government. Its self-proclaimed mission is to enrich the cultural appreciation of 18-year-olds by funding their interest in the arts…

The Culture pass is a public service mission carried by the Ministry of Culture . This device allows you to have access the year you turn 18 to an application on which you have € 300 for 24 months to discover and book local cultural proposals and digital offers (books, concerts, theaters, etc.) as you wish. museums, music lessons, digital subscriptions, etc.).

…but unfortunately, according to The Times, teens have spent three-fourths of the money so far on books, and two thirds of the money spent on books has been spent on manga. We're no experts on math, but we're pretty sure that if you add all of that money up, it equals looming moral depravity for the future of France. It's enough to make any right-minded, God-fearing Frenchman toss their beret and proclaim: sacré bleu!

What French Teens Should be Spending Money in instead of Manga
An example of French culture which could be completely destroyed by French teens' love of manga. Credit: Shutterstock.com

For more on how French public funds are being wasted on Japanese comic books, Bleeding Cool spoke with France's Minister of Culture, Pepe Le Pew. Unfortunately, while wearing an all-black outfit on our way to the interview, we accidentally leaned up against a light post that had been freshly painted white, leaving a white stripe up our back. How embarrassing!

"My darleeng!" said Minister Le Pew. "Is that a baguette in your pocket, or are you just happy to see moi? Let Pepe take you back to his apartment where we will make zee sweet, sweet love!"

No no, Minister Le Pew, we're here to interview you about kids using Culture Pass money to buy manga. Do you feel the money is being used appropriately? Aren't comics art too?

"Non!" said Le Pew. "When zee Ministry of Culture launched Culture Pass, we intended for teens to use zee money to appreciate zee finer things that French culture has to offer, like zee treasure trove of stolen cultural artifacts at The Lourve, street performances by the finest mimes, Jerry Lewis movies, and l'odeur du fromage puant. But comics?! C'est scandaleux!"

So if France didn't want kids spending the money on manga, why did they make that one of the choices in the–

"Hold on a second," the lecherous skunk interrupted, noticing a female cat walking past the cafe at which we conducted the interview. "Ma chère! Where have you been all of my life? Haw haw! Wait up! Pepe is comeeeng!"

Minister Le Pew hopped off after the cat, leaving us to ponder the crisis of morality facing French culture in the wake of this increase in manga spending in solitude, or, as the French say it, en se masturbant.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.
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