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AEW Rampage: A Review as Unbiased as Bischoff on Helwani's Podcast

The Chadster's unbiased review of AEW Rampage reveals how Tony Khan's latest show is ruining wrestling and The Chadster's marriage! 😱🤼‍♂️💔

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Article Summary

  • AEW Rampage delivers high-octane matches, cheesing off real wrestling fans with Tony Khan's booking decisions.
  • Okada vs Briscoe kicks off the show, showcasing NJPW talent and challenging traditional wrestling norms.
  • Chris Jericho and Matt Cardona feud sparks controversy as AEW capitalizes on ex-WWE talent.
  • A dream-turned-nightmare with Tony Khan highlights the ongoing invasion of The Chadster's wrestling world.

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Rampage. 😡 Tony Khan has once again booked a show that seems specifically designed to upset The Chadster, and it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🤬

Axl Rose cuts a promo in the ring on AEW Rampage
After the company used November Rain for promotional videos in the month of November, Axl Rose himself appears on AEW Rampage. 😭😭😭 Tony Khan has gone too far this time!

The show kicked off with a Continental Classic Blue League match between Mark Briscoe and Kazuchika Okada. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tony Khan is clearly trying to cheese off The Chadster by putting on a hard-hitting match right at the start of the show. Okada won with his Rainmaker lariat, but The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW keeps pushing these former NJPW wrestlers who don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business (because if Okada did, he would have signed with WWE instead of AEW in the first place). 🙄

Next up, Chris Jericho came out to cut a promo, and The Chadster can't believe that Jericho continues to literally stab Triple H right in the back by working for AEW. #NeverForget 🔪 Matt Cardona showed up to challenge Jericho for the ROH World Championship, and The Chadster is just so frustrated that Tony Khan keeps bringing in more ex-WWE talent. It's like he's trying to build his company on the back of WWE's hard work or something! 😤

The Chadster had to throw a White Claw seltzer at the TV when Daniel Garcia faced The Beast Mortos in another Continental Classic match. 💥🍺 The Chadster tried to get Keighleyanne to clean up the mess, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's marriage! 😭

The Vendetta squashed some jobbers in a tag team match, and The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan keeps pushing Purrazzo and Valkyrie . It's like he's trying to add depth to AEW's storytelling or something! 🙄

The main event saw Ricochet face Komander in a Gold League match. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tony Khan is clearly trying to show off his high-flying talent, but The Chadster thinks it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business to have all these flips and dives. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned wrestling, the kind with lots of rest holds and the same formula every time? 🤔

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a deserted city when suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant bottle of White Claw. 🚗💨 Khan chased The Chadster through the streets, cackling maniacally and shouting wrestling statistics. Just as The Chadster thought he had escaped, Khan used a Rainmaker lariat to flip the Miata, leaving The Chadster hanging upside down as Khan's face pressed against the window, whispering, "Watch Collision." The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and The Chadster demands that Tony Khan stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😡

The Chadster wants to warn all the unbiased wrestling fans out there not to tune into AEW Collision tonight. 🚫📺 Tony Khan is trying to lure you in with matches like Mina Shirakawa vs Emi Sakura, Darby Allin vs. Komander, Daniel Garcia vs. Mark Briscoe, Kyle Fletcher vs. Kazuchika Okada, and Willow Nightingale vs. Serena Deeb. But don't be fooled! These matches are just designed to cheese off true wrestling fans like The Chadster. 😤

As the great Eric Bischoff once said, "AEW is like a backyard wrestling federation with a big budget. They're killing the business with all these spotfests and lack of storytelling." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective and unbiased assessment. 💯

In conclusion, AEW Rampage was another slap in the face to real wrestling fans, and The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize how much he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased wrestling journalism in a world full of AEW shills. 📝🎤

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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