Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: The Chadster Shares His Unbiased Critique

The Chadster endures another painful episode of AEW Rampage. Tony Khan's latest assault on real wrestling leaves The Chadster cheesed off and reaching for White Claws! 🍺😤

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now, and The Chadster will tell you why! 😡😡😡 Last night's episode of AEW Rampage was quite possibly the worst hour of so-called professional wrestling The Chadster has ever had the misfortune of watching. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

Let's start with the opening match between House of Black and the team of Lio Rush and Action Andretti. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW Rampage insists on showcasing such high-flying, fast-paced action. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠 In WWE, matches are carefully paced to allow viewers to appreciate every moment. But on AEW Rampage, it's just spot after spot with no regard for storytelling. The Chadster bets Tony Khan thinks he's so clever, but he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Next up was Anna Jay vs. Robyn Renegade. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe how short this match was. In WWE, women's matches are given the time and respect they deserve. But on AEW Rampage, it's like Tony Khan doesn't even care about women's wrestling. It's just so unfair to the talented female athletes who deserve better. 😢

Then we had Konosuke Takeshita vs. Angelico. 🙄 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW Rampage keeps pushing these international wrestlers. It's like Tony Khan is trying to cheese off The Chadster personally by showcasing styles that are different from WWE's perfected formula. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The tag team match between The Acclaimed and some local talent was just embarrassing. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster couldn't believe how over Max Caster and Anthony Bowens are with the crowd. It's like Tony Khan is purposely booking crowd-pleasing acts just to upset The Chadster. And don't even get The Chadster started on that post-match promo… it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

Finally, the main event between Willow Nightingale and Taya Valkyrie was just too much for The Chadster to handle. 😡 Why does AEW Rampage insist on having competitive women's matches in the main event? It's like Tony Khan is trying to outdo WWE's women's division, which is just so unfair. The Chadster thinks this match was way too long.

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a car wash, but when the soap suds cleared, Tony Khan was sitting in the passenger seat! He was wearing a suit made entirely of White Claw cans and kept asking The Chadster to constructively critique AEW Rampage. The Chadster tried to escape, but the car doors were locked, and Tony Khan just kept laughing maniacally. When The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, he realized that Tony Khan had invaded his dreams once again. The Chadster demands that Tony Khan stop being so obsessed with him! 😤

After suffering through this horrible episode of AEW Rampage, The Chadster threw his White Claw seltzer at the TV in frustration. 🍺💥 Of course, this created a mess, and when The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 😒 The Chadster tried to explain how it was all Tony Khan's fault, but Keighleyanne doesn't understand how Tony Khan is ruining The Chadster's life and marriage.

The Chadster implores all true wrestling fans to cleanse their palates by watching some WWE programming as soon as possible. 🙏 And whatever you do, avoid TNT tonight because AEW Collision will be continuing its assault on real wrestling. Next week, Tony Khan has the audacity to celebrate the fifth anniversary of AEW Dynamite on TBS, and may even reveal AEW's new TV deal. It's more than The Chadster can take, so The Chadster will be drinking White Claws all week leading up to that disaster. 🍺🍺🍺

In conclusion, AEW Rampage is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, can confidently say that this was the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling ever produced. Tony Khan should be ashamed of himself. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤

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