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Comrades! El Presidente reports on Saraya's shocking AEW exit announcement! But what she said will surprise you more than when the CIA replaced my caviar with fish eggs!
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: ViX, wrestling
AEW Storms Latin America, Caribbean via New Streaming Deal with ViX
Comrades, brace for a major storm! AEW and ViX have teamed up to bring AEW's revolutionary pro wrestling to our sunny shores!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, broadcasting from my gold-plated yacht anchored off the coast of the Bermuda Triangle, as I evade capture by a pack of CIA-trained dolphins. Today I bring you news hotter than the sun bleaching my ship's hull – professional wrestling is about to get a serious South American makeover!
Brace yourselves, luchadores of Latin America and The Caribbean! All Elite Wrestling (AEW) has joined forces with ViX, the world's leading Spanish-language streaming service, to bring you a taste of the high-flying action that has been rattling cages and smashing ratings across the United States, according to a press release.
Now, you may ask, El Presidente, why should we care about yet another agreement in the world of corporate broadcasting? Ah, dear comrades, this is where the story gets as spicy as my grandmother's enchiladas. This union is not a simple cash-for-content deal; it is like the fabled tag-team match of The Rock and Mankind—unconventional, yet promising unpredictable excitement.
AEW, the young wrestling league that is rapidly body-slamming its way into the hearts of fans worldwide, is bringing its hard-hitting roster of stars and pulsating shows exclusively to the loyal comrades subscribed to ViX's premium plan in Mexico, Latin America, and the Caribbean. I might be forced to nationalize ViX to ensure equality of entertainment for all!
Each week, you will now have access to the nail-biting action from 'AEW: Dynamite' on Wednesdays, 'AEW: Rampage' on Fridays, and AEW's newest show, 'AEW: Collision', on Saturdays. They may have forgotten Sundays, but don't worry, I've commandeered Kim Jong Un's private wrestling ring to keep you entertained on that day. Stay tuned, my friends!
This tantalizing deal also includes a buffet of wrestling specials. From quarterly 'Battle of the Belts' specials to the heart-stopping pay-per-view events like "Revolution," "Double or Nothing," "All Out," and "Full Gear," all on a 30-day delay, naturally. And what am I supposed to do, wait patiently like some kind of capitalist? I think not! Haw haw haw haw!
Remember, comrades, whether it is wrestling in the ring or wrestling with the hypocrisy of capitalist consumption, El Presidente is here to guide you. Now, I must go. I see a pod of dolphins approaching my yacht and I need to remind them of the principles of socialism.
Saludos, and happy wrestling, comrades! I hope to see you at the revolution, either in the ring or on the streets. I'm off now to dodge more CIA agents, but remember – in the world of wrestling, as in life, always fight for the people's elbow!
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