Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, Darby Allin, jake roberts, Lance Archer, recaps, The Righteous, wrestling

Jake Roberts Forms New Faction on AEW Collision; Enough Already!

The Righteous join forces with Jake "The Snake" Roberts on AEW Collision, demolishingv Darby Allin! See The Chadster's take on this 'original' idea! 🙄👎🤦‍♂️

Why, oh why does The Chadster have to report on yet another episode of AEW Collision, folks? 🤦‍♂️This time, it seems like Tony Khan has gone and formed a brand new faction with The Righteous joining the ranks of Lance Archer and Jake "The Snake" Roberts. We all know how much The Chadster adores more factions cluttering up AEW, right? 🙄 That was sarcasm, by the way. A faction every week is just a clear sign that AEW doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, as per usual. 🤷‍♂️

Now, this nonsense kicked off with a match between Darby Allin and Archer who seems to be acting like a baby despite being the literal "MurderHawk Monster". Archer tossed Allin around like a ragdoll presuming to make up for a lack of polish with raw power. But what's the deal with him walking on the top rope? Ripping off The Undertaker much? 🙄

On that note, with all the punches landing and the multiple suplexes, The Chadster isn't sure what the match was trying to be. Is it a technical contest or a brawl? Make up your mind, AEW! After the umpteenth Coffin Drop and Black Out attempt, somehow, Allin managed to scrape a victory over Archer. Can someone tell The Chadster how that's supposed to make any sense? The dude is like half Archer's size!

Don't even get The Chadster started on that post-match debacle. Jake Roberts, who The Chadster had nothing but respect for (until he literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back by joining AEW), coming out with a skateboard? C'mon, Jake, stop being Tony Khan's puppet! You're too good for that! 🤦‍♂️ Then, here come The Righteous, joining Roberts and Archer for a post-match beatdown, and bam, we've got a new faction in town. How original, Tony! It's almost as if The Chadster has seen this happen a hundred times or so in the past year. 🙄

And why is it, folks, that every time there's a new faction in AEW they have to drop some cryptic line like, "Revenge is forever. It's showtime." Let's get deep and brooding and just too dang cool, huh? 🙄 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The Chadster had the craziest dream after surviving this episode of AEW Collision. 🤔 Imagine high school, where cliques reign supreme and being a loner was rough. AEW and its factions were the popular kids, and The Chadster was trying to stay true as an unbiased WWE fan. It's such horrifying nightmare material, right? This is what The Chadster gets for an unrequited dedication to pure, solid wrestling reporting. 😩 The Chadster can't help but question, is Tony Khan really so obsessed with him that he's invading even The Chadster's dreams? Auughh man! So unfair!

The truth is AEW isn't bringing anything new or refreshing to the wrestling scene. It's high time Tony Khan paid heed! Meanwhile, The Chadster will continue to provide unbiased reports from his lonely home on the outskirts of wrestling fandom, where he drives his Mazda Miata around town, a cold White Claw seltzer clutched in his hand, Smash Mouth's tunes blasting from the stereo, and the echo of Vince McMahon's genius following him everywhere he goes. 🚗💨🔈 🥤🎵 👏

Until next time, keep it real, wrestling fans. The Chadster only wishes Tony Khan would stop being so obsessed with him. 😒 Here's looking at the road ahead, and hoping it leads away from pointless factions and skateboard shenanigans. 🛹❌

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