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Jay White, Former WWE Stars, More Appear at Impact Slammiversary

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Impact Wrestling's Slammiversary PPV took place on Saturday, July 17th, and celebrated the legacy of TNA with a time-honored tradition: the debut of multiple former WWE stars in the Impact Zone. But it was an appearance by NJPW star Jay White that closed out the show and grabbed all the headlines. Impact posted full detailed results from the event online.

Jay White, Fired Former WWE Stars Appear at Impact Slammiversary

Greetings, comrades. It is I, your El Presidente, bringing you the latest news about Impact Wrestling. Most importantly, Kenny Omega retained the Impact Championship, defeating Sami Callihan in a No DQ match filled with shenanigans, and ending with Omega throwing thumbtacks in Callihan's eyes. But while Omega's reign as the Belt Collector continues, the big news was that Jay White, the current leader of the real Bullet Club, appeared after the match to stare down Omega. I did the same thing to my protege Maduro as an April Fools prank one year and he totally thought I was going to assassinate him and stage a coup, comrades. He almost s*** himself! Haw haw haw haw!

The Knockouts Championship match ended in similar fashion. First, Thunder Rosa was revealed as champion Deonna Purrazzo's mystery opponent. Purrazzo fended off Rosa's challenge with The Queen's Gambit, but former WWE star, former TNA star, and current NWA star Mickie James appeared after the match, setting up Purrazzo's next challenge.

Earlier in the night, The Good Brothers won a fatal four-way to claim the Impact Tag Team Championships, beating Violent by Design, Rich Swann and Willie Mack, and Fallah Bah and, in place of an injured TJP (either he was injured or he couldn't make it back from CPAC in time), a debuting former WWE star No Way Jose, now going by just "No Way," which he probably should have pitched to Vince McMahon before he got fired. Vince loves a good name shortening, comrades! Haw haw haw!

In other title contests at Slammiversary, Josh Alexander won Ultimate X to retain the X-Division Championship, turning away Chris Bey, Ace Austin, Trey Miguel, and Petey Williams. And on the Slammiversary pre-show, Decay won the Knockouts Tag Team Championships from Fire N Flava.

In non-title action, Chris Sabin defeated Moose, who is on a losing streak since signing that new contract. Hope it was worth it, comrade. Sabin won with a rollup. NJPW stars FinnJuice returned to Impact and beat Madman Fulton and Shera in an impromptu match. W. Morrissey beat Eddie Edwards. Former WWE star Chelsea Green returned to Impact as the very obvious mystery partner for her fiance, Matt Cardona, to take on and defeat Brian Myers and Tenille Dashwood.

Slammiversary, due largely to the time of year it takes place in relation to the time of year WWE usually fires half its roster, has become known as the PPV where former WWE midcarders and jobbers make splashy Impact debuts or returns. But this time around, comrades, Impact turned the tables by having stars from NWA and NJPW make splashy Impact debuts or returns instead, an ingenious move that really mixes things up.

Until next time, comrades: socialism or death.

Impact Slammiversary 2021
Jay White, Fired Former WWE Stars Appear at Impact Slammiversary
Review by El Presidente
7/10
Slammiversary, due largely to the time of year it takes place in relation to the time of year WWE usually fires half its roster, has become known as the PPV where former WWE midcarders and jobbers make splashy Impact debuts or returns. But this time around, comrades, Impact turned the tables by having stars from NWA and NJPW make splashy Impact debuts or returns instead, an ingenious move that really mixes things up.

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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