Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: bryan danielson, wrestling

Report: Bryan Danielson Fining AEW Wrestlers for Social Media Whining

El Presidente reveals how Bryan Danielson's ruling AEW with an iron grip – and wallet-wringing fines for social media complainers, like a true dictator!

Salutations, my brave and unyieldingly loyal comrades! It is I, El Presidente, your beacon of truth in the deceitful shadows of the media jungle, currently broadcasting to you from my opulent underground bunker beneath the sun-kissed beaches of a country that definitely does not extradite to the U.S. Today, I am savoring a fine Cuban cigar as I divulge the authoritarian masterstroke from a wrestling ring's own supreme chief, Bryan Danielson.

My sources of enlightenment, primarily the ever-watchful eye of Fightful's Sean Ross Sapp – who never misses a scoop even if his life depended on it (and in my country it would) – inform me that Danielson has taken a page straight from the playbook of us great leaders: he's begun exacting fines for the unruly social media behavior of those rebellious AEW wrestlers. Si, comrades, you heard it correctly: the wrestler known by the proletarian nickname "American Dragon" is showing he can breathe fire upon his subordinates!

Now, let us dissect the strategy of Danielson, who, it seems, is flexing like a true dictator – a demeanor I find most admirable. His decree apparently intends to silence those passive-aggressive cries from wrestlers who seem to find solace in airing their grievances against the company in the anarchy of the internet. Comrades, I cannot stop myself from indulging in laughter as I picture these wrestlers' dismay – a feeling I'm profoundly familiar with, as in my glorious regime, not a single soul dares whisper a misaligned word against El Presidente. Can you imagine the horror on their faces when they learn their tweets will cost them a portion of their lucha libre spoils?

Moreover, as the revealed head of AEW's disciplinary committee, the recent shocking news of Danielson's involvement in ousting CM Punk illustrates he is not just flexing his muscles, but also wielding the full might of his authority – his vegan leather boot firmly pressing against the windpipes of whining talent. Ah, discipline – such divine music to my ears!

Lest we forget, Bryan Danielson, while exercising this delightful display of dominance, should remain vigilant for the ever-scheming CIA. I have bested those meddling spooks many times and can affirm – they do not appreciate when others play their game of control and clandestine moves. So, my wrestling comrade, keep one eye on your internal insurrectionists and the other looking out for drones overhead.

For any other individual, I might offer caution with such drastic measures – but for Danielson? I raise my glass of the finest rum in toast to his endeavor. Tighten those ropes around the ring of restrictions and let the flimsy-hearted feel the weight of their words in their wallets!

Indeed, dear readers, whilst one might argue that the finesse of freedom must fly through the open skies of the internet, even I must concede that a bit of command and control may well be the blueprint for a well-oiled organization. After all, who among us would not wish to govern their domain with the precision and authority that ensures prosperity and harmony amongst the common folk and the grappling gladiators alike?

Ah, but remember to give credit where credit is due – Hail to Sean Ross Sapp for bringing these delectable details to light. As for Danielson, you have my support as you embark on your quest to cleanse the digital landscape – just ensure that your hand of justice is as strong as your wrestling grip.

In closing, my fellow aficionados of the squared circle and the political theater alike, let us observe with fascination as the landscape of AEW unfolds under the auspices of its newfound steward. And remember, if you ever grow tired of the weak, hesitant leadership in your current place of residence, there's always a place in the El Presidente fan club!

This is El Presidente, your guiding star in the murky night, signing off and reminding you to stay vigilant… and always stay entertained! ¡Hasta la victoria siempre!

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