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Numbercrunching: New Avengers Finale, Dark Avengers 16, Siege 4

Published Tue, 18 May 2010 17:00:26 -0500

Last updated Wed, 19 May 2010 11:06:10 -0500

Numbercrunching is a review format that values statistics, over less quantative measure when looking at comic books. It generally fails and gets dragged away on tangents but it aims to be a useful reminder of the value and appreciation of mere… counting.

Prices:

New Avengers $4.99
Dark Avengers $3.99
Siege $3.99

Story pages?

New Avengers 58
Dark Avengers 20
Siege 30

Cost per page

New Avengers 58 8.6 cents
Dark Avengers 20 20 cents a page
Siege 30 13.3 cents a page

How disparate. Now how many are splash pages?

New Avengers 29
Dark Avengers 1
Siege 7

Fuck a duck. And of them how many of those pages make up double splash pages?

New Avengers 20
Dark Avengers 0
Siege 6

Fuck another duck. So New Avengers is basically a pin-up book? There is an element of that I grant you.

The after market for original art should be grateful. It should.

And considering this is three books telling bits of the same story, are there replicant scenes? A little.

So this is the swan sing of basically what Brian Bendis started in Avengers Dissembled? Through a few twists and turns, basically yes. A grand master plan to tell a long story through many books and other creative teams. And finally we've seen a reassembling of the Avengers.

If you look at it like that, this is possible the longest story told in comics to date. Absolutely. Makes Cerebus look like a back-up strip.

Did it work? Well mostly. It seemed like there were some divergent plans. For example, wouldn't it have made more thematic sense for The Sentry's role to have been played by Scarlet Witch, since she set off the Dissembled plot in the first place?

It might. I know. And then we'd have found she'd slept with Rogue.

Or it may be a kind of intentional symmetry between the two. Back to the point. How did work? As a whole this is something epic, For all that Brian Bendis' books are criticised for nothing much happening in them, as a whole, pretty much everything happens.

Do you know anyone outside of Marvel who's read everything connected to this epic story? I don't know if you'd find that in Marvel. This is Mahabharat territory – huge, multi tendrilled stuff.

Can you sum it up though? Oh of course.

Avengers fall apart, new reality is created and mutants are wiped out, government tuned against superheroes. Half of Avengers turn against government, the rest don't, government wins, government and heroes beat skrulls, government gets taken over up supervillain, supervillain gets power mad, then just mad, gets beaten, and his big bully boy is put down. Nick Fury Has A Plan.

Should make for a good plot for Avengers 2. It should.

Are there big explosions. Yes.

Are there big punches? Yes.

After all this, is there actually a satisfting ending? There is rather.

That'll do me then. Any last questions?

What is the beer called in Earth 616? Millar Lite.

Ha. No really, end of New Avengers Finale. That's canon now.

Good grief.