Posted in: Comics, Marvel Comics | Tagged: black bolt, inhumans, lockjaw, marvel, News with Benefits

Inhumans Leader Responds to Claims Group Are "Second-Rate X-Men"

Published Fri, 28 Jan 2022 19:27:10 -0600

Inhumans leader Black Bolt responded to claims that the group are little more than "second-rate X-Men" by exposing his dog's butthole on during a State of the Moon address on Friday. Bringing the pooch to the podium, King Black bolt hoisted Lockjaw in the air, flipped him over, and waved his rear end around to the delight of the crowd and some media pundits, who argued that the gesture was actually more polite than if Black Bolt had responded with words since his voice causes untold destruction and would have probably wiped out everyone in attendance.

King Black Bolt's response is seen by many as long overdue after years of abuse directed toward the Inhumans since Marvel Comics attempted to use them as a substitute for the more popular X-Men and their mutant species group during a time when rival entertainment conglomerate Fox held their movie rights. Once Marvel parent company Disney purchased Fox, returning the rights to Marvel, the X-Men were returned to prominence and the Inhumans all but forgotten, leaving little behind but a much-maligned failed attempt at a TV show.

However, not everyone was as entertained by Black Bolt's antics. One acquaintance of the group, Ben Grimm, called the move crass and disrespectful, not only to "the mooks on Yancy Street that had to take a gander at Lockjaw's gapin' butthole," but also to Lockjaw himself.

"He ain't actually a pet, y'know," Grimm told reporters. "He's another Inhuman whose exposure to the Terrigen Mists made him like that. I can't help but sympathize with the poor bastard, given my own rocky condition."

When Grimm was informed that that belief was actually part of a prank played on him by the other Inhumans, and Lockjaw really is a dog after all, the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing promptly took his leave, announcing that it was "clobberin' time" and departing to confront the would-be jokesters, Karnak and Gorgon. As always, Bleeding Cool will keep you updated on this breaking story as it develops.

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