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The Comic Store Owner Planning To Hunt Down His Suspected Chicago Bulls Shoplifter Today

Mike Wellman of The Comic Book Bug in Southern California, often featured in these hallowed pages, has a problem with thieves. He writes on Facebook,

As promised, here are the crooks of the day today! If you are a comic retailer, be on the lookout because they are known serial thieves (more on that in a bit). First, their tactics…

Mr. Chicago Bulls came in around 1:15 today and was browsing around. Seemed friendly enough and didn't need any help when I asked him. Then, about 20 minutes in he had a slew of questions. He's in the market for a Marvel Select Gamora and Rocket set that's coming out later, so I'm pretty sure he's a collector, not a flipper.

At one point he asked me the price of a poster we had in the back of the store, which I was able to answer "it's $10" without having to go back there.

He left and then came back about 5 minutes later with this gorgeous cup o' beauty you see pictured below. I just assumed she was shopping at Trader Joe's and he had something he wanted to show her, but oh no, this is a team effort.

My relief came in at 2:00, so inspired by Kristen Parraz, I decided to go poop before I went home for the day. (Revelations to keep your attention!)

Five minutes later, my replacement guy is blowing up my phone so I answered. "Someone just stole some action figures! I'm chasing them!" I hastily pulled my pants up and joined the pursuit!

Alas, they were long gone. But we have this juicy footage to share with you guys!

Apparently after I went to the restroom, Chicago Bulls asked my replacement to go and get him the aforementioned poster at the back of the shop, distracting him long enough to jump behind the counter and grab two pricey action figures. My guy noticed and told him he couldn't be behind the counter. He replied "oh, sorry" and came back around front, placing the figures where he could easily retrieve them.

Then the Mrs. stepped up to purchase the poster. As my guy was ringing her up, he noticed Chicago Bulls go for the three pointer and haul ass out of the shop with the action figures. Police were called, reports were filed. I'm pretty sure it's a loss but that's okay, we have our dignity which is more than these two lousy pieces of turd chunks can claim.

Thing is, this isn't the first time Chicago Bulls has taken stuff from us. He was busted at our Culver City shop last year and told not to come back. In front of his kids. That's why I'm pretty sure he'll be hitting other shops in the area now and why I'm tagging some of my SoCal retailer friends. Be on the lookout y'all. And this dickcheese REALLY seems to like his Bulls Jersey. He's always wearing it when he rolls through. Maybe he should go steal some new threads too!

There were some entertaining replies,

But then it got real. Mike claimed to have found his suspect on social media.

Some people would call the police straught away. Mike Wellman… appears to have read too many Punisher comic books. And yes, we will update as warranted…

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