Posted in: Comics | Tagged: Comics, cosmic cube, entertainment, michael davis, michaeldavis, milestone

The Cosmic Cube – Michael Davis, From The Edge

Michael Davis is an artist, writer, mentor, and entertainment executive. He writes,

Some time ago sitting on the floor of my home after enduring yet another night of uncontrollable pain, fueled by severe insomnia, migraines and painful memories, I was convinced putting a bullet my head was the only way to stop the agony.

Not wanting to give up hope I started to pray. After praying for the usual, deliver me from etc, etc, I prayed for a Cosmic Cube.

Clearly I was desperate.

For those reading this not aware of what a Cosmic Cube is allow me to enlighten you. Captain America first encountered the Cube when fighting the Red Skull back in the good old Lee and Kirby (Stan Lee and Jack Kirby) days of the sixties. The stories were written and drawn in the sixties but took place in the forties.

You're seen the cube, it's the shiny, energy box thing in the Avengers and other Marvel movies. That's a Cosmic Cube, although they call it some other silly ass name.

What does it do? Simple, the Cube can make anything real.

Yep, desperate.

When you're in the kind of pain I was in it makes perfect sense to pray for something you know doesn't exist but I wasn't doing that. It does exist. I know, because I have one, or I did.

All I needed was a minute, hell, less than a minute with the cube and all would be right in my world. Throughout the day, no cube materialized. Nah no cube, I did however, have a gun.

With the note done all that was left was to give up the fight. I was fighting what I now know is severe depression, along with the kind of physical pain I was convinced would not stop unless I got the f— out of dodge.

Funny, I remember thinking, my first girlfriend, Yvonne, named her bedroom, 'Dodge' and I never wanted to get out of there. Strange the things you think of when you're facing a major life moment. I could hardly see most of the day, blindness part of my migraines when they're really bad.

Really bad would have been a godsend, this was the worst of the worst and that's saying something. During those, I turn off the lights and silence whatever I can, first and foremost, my cell phones of which I have three. Earlier I found two but was unable to find the third one before I had to close my eyes from all light.

While reaching for something else, I found the third phone just as it started buzzing. For the first time in hours I opened my eyes.

I open my eyes and behold, the Cosmic Cube.

And get this, Lee and Kirby never said the cube was a girl! Cleverly disguised as a caller ID on an IPhone, my Cosmic Cube; Tatiana El-Khouri finally arrived.

Tatiana, once a protégé, then my assistant, then partner, now a force independent of me. Tatiana who won't change the game; she'll break the game. To quote Mr. Mars, don't believe me? Just watch.

Tatiana, the scary talented creative force whom I love her with all my heart saved me. Although, I wonder why she did as my behavior towards her sometimes seemed, anything but love.

I've said horrible things to her. Doesn't matter why I did. I never, ever, should have spoken to her the way I have. I've said many times, I have no shame. I tell people, what you see is what you get and if they don't like it, I could give a f—.

I do give a f—. Something I should have realized when my sister from another mister, Janice asked me to stop making Asian girl jokes. Without a second thought I did, you would think that would have given me a clue.

Tatiana, I'm ashamed I ever spoke to you in such a manner. I was wrong. I've been wrong in a great many things it seems.

All of those occasions were my fault. Every single one of them, my fault.

Because of my demons and my inability to be any other way when faced with those demons when I f— up, I f— up.

I'm sorry.

Last week my assistant James Rhodes left my studio. There's nothing more I can do for him. He left because he's smart enough to know what he needs to do. Its safe to say the last year and a half James has learned nothing new from me and could have left at any time. He didn't.

Those were (are) very dark times. He didn't have to stay but he did. I've learned a whole lot from James. He took care of me when I needed a friend and I didn't see that either. It seems the closer someone is to me I miss that. Yeah, its part of the illness but f— does that suck or what?

James, you're like a son to me. You'll never know what you've done for me. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you.

It's my birthday today.

Since Jean left me a birthday greeting at midnight exactly, followed a nano second later by Sheila, my phone hasn't stop buzzing. I've gotten gift after gift of love in the form of texts, emails, phone calls (except for one all went to VM. Sorry, busy balling like a girl) and two packages delivered to my house and its only 9amish my time.

I'm not at my best but I'm better.

Thank you all for helping to get me there.

Wow, hard to believe I'll be 30 next year…WHAT???

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