Wordle Mafia Comes for Brian Keene
The Wordle-spoiling vigilante bot Wordlinator may have been suspended from Twitter for spoiling the latest Wordle puzzles for die-hard devotees of the poor man's Wheel of Fortune, but World War Wordle continues as new heroes arise to combat the proliferation of little gray, yellow, and green boxes polluting comics Twitter. Award-winning author Brian Keene found himself the target of Twitter ire after speaking out against Wordle enthusiasts this week.
Within hours of daring to disparage Wordle, Keene found himself so besieged that he was forced to comment:
First of all, what's your problem with Taylor Swift, Keene?! Secondly, by the following morning, the beleaguered Keene had seemingly all but abandoned his original stance on the viral word game, tweeting:
But his desire to fight was revived by a blindside attack from former ally turned prominent Wordlebrony, Cullen Bunn, who tweeted:
A reinvigorated Keene replied:
Which prompted Bunn to fire off another attack, this time at this intrepid reporter, guilty of nothing more than reporting the news in an unbiased fashion, as is our mandate as a practitioner of the esteemed field of comics "journalism" at the well-respected outlet Bleeding Cool.
But Keene wasn't intimidated, tweeting:
Thank you, Brian! It's good to see that some people still believe in the concept of loyalty, unlike certain other writers in whose honor we once created a delicious pastry recipe, back in happier days, before the Wordle.
For more on World War Wordle, we reached out to former Outhouse co-Editor-in-Chief Gavin Dillinger, who provided the following comment while on the toilet:
It should come as no surprise that Brian Keene would escalate the wordle war to such animosity. You can see his true intentions in his Author's Prefered edition of Terminal where, instead of leaving the airport, Tom Hanks declares squatters rights in the JFK airport Cinnabon and threatens the Jamba Juice with nuclear warfare.
World War Wordle is, many experts believe, the most important geopolitical conflict of our time, with Russia's potential invasion of Ukraine coming in a distant second, mostly because it can only be classified as a spinoff conflict since the Russian troop buildup on the border began when Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky posted a higher Wordle score than Vladimir Putin for Wordle 169, embarrassing the Russian strongman who is known to pride himself on his Wordle score. And the Worldlebronies are very well-funded since most of them work in the comics industry, known for its lucrative pay structure. That's why we urge you to support the war efforts by buying Keene's books (the Author's Edition of Terminal, sadly, is sold out). On the other hand, if you count yourself amongst the legions of Wordlebronies, experts agree that the best way to support that cause is to support the work of Cullen Bunn.
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