The comic book industry is under attack once again by its oldest and most dangerous nemesis: spoilers. But this time, the spoilers are hitting comic book creators where it really hurts. No, not by revealing the secrets of the latest superhero super-mega-crossover events. Nobody really cares about that once the comics are purchased by retailers, thanks to the industry's official policy of "no backsies," and besides, those things are incredibly predictable anyway. No, this time, the spoilers have gotten really serious. This time, the spoilers have come for Wordle.
The online word game fad has taken the comics industry by storm, with every morning starting out by posting the results of their attempt to guess the most recent puzzle. Comics Twitter is defined by these tweets, to the point where Wordle proficiency is practically a required job skill. Will a company even give your resume a second glance if you haven't scored at least a 3/6 on the latest puzzle, proving yourself to be one of the industry's elite?
In the cutthroat world of comics publishing, a comics professional is only as good as their latest Wordle score. Even the most talented pros are nothing if they cannot demonstrate, on a daily basis, their value in the form of little gray, yellow, and green boxes. Wordle is comics. Wordle is life.
But now, a malevolent force threatens to upend everything the industry holds dear.
Yes, that's right. Someone is spoiling the answers to Wordle puzzles. And if it continues, the fabric of the industry could completely unravel. If Wordle is being spoiled, how can anyone trust that those little gray, black, yellow, and green boxes truly represent a comics industry professional's puzzle-solving skills? The answer is that you can't. And if you can't, then everything breaks down.
If you noticed that World War 3 was trending on Twitter this morning, rest assured that it was merely a typo. The true danger is not a World War, but a Wordle War. And if something isn't done about these spoilers soon, all of us will lose.