Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW All Out, recaps, wrestling

AEW All Out Goes Too Far; Violence Has No Place in Wrestling

AEW All Out shocks with violent matches! The Chadster declares it the worst PPV ever. Find out why WWE is the only trustworthy wrestling company. 😡🚫🤼

The Chadster is absolutely disgusted and appalled by what went down at AEW All Out last night! 😡😡😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan and his band of miscreants have once again proven that they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Let's start with that so-called "Chicago Street Fight" between Willow Nightingale and Kris Statlander. 😤 The Chadster was horrified to see these two women engaging in such barbaric acts. Thumbtacks? Chains? Light tubes? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙅‍♂️ WWE women's matches are all about class and dignity, not violence. That's real wrestling! 💯

And don't even get The Chadster started on Statlander stealing The Undertaker's tombstone piledriver to get the victory. 😠 Out of all the unforgivable violence in the match, that one was the worst, because she literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by using that move. The Chadster bets Tony Khan was cackling with glee when he saw that, knowing how much it would cheese The Chadster off. 🧀

But the violence didn't stop there, oh no. 🙅‍♂️ The ending of the Bryan Danielson vs. Jack Perry match was absolutely shocking. 😱 The Blackpool Combat Club turning on Danielson after he won, and Jon Moxley trying to suffocate him with a plastic bag? Frankly, that kind of simulated violence has no place in wrestling. The Chadster didn't care about the plastic bag that much beyond the idea that they literally were trying to murder the guy and no one from security rushed the ring. If they decided to stab Bryan, would they just let it happen and then treat him? NO! There's suspension of reality, and then there's gullibility. 🙄

Wrestling should be about believability, like when supernatural clowns do spooky things under the glow of Mountain Dew themed lighting, not wrestlers expressing their animosity and resentment via violent acts. That's what real wrestling is all about! 🤡💡

But the worst was yet to come. 😖 The lights out match between Hangman Adam Page and Swerve Strickland in a steel cage was an absolute travesty. The Chadster couldn't believe some of the dangerous spots in this match, like Hangman powerbombing Swerve on a cinder block, or sticking him with a hypodermic needle and then smashing his head with an obviously gimmicked chair shot. 😱💉

Sure, those spots were less likely to cause a real injury than competing in a normal Nia Jax match, but it's just not appropriate in a modern wrestling setting. Real wrestling is supposed to be about safe, sanitized violence, like pretending to gouge out your opponent's eye in an eye for an eye match, not this AEW garbage. 👁️🗑️

The Chadster, along with all the loyal die-hard WWE fans, as well as the paid bots and troll accounts that dutifully take orders from WWE's PR department on social media, were collectively aghast at the events of last night's AEW All Out. 😨 It's time for fans to join The Chadster and all the righteous WWE-funded Twitter bots and trolls in condemning AEW and demanding they stop doing wrestling the wrong way, the different-from-WWE way. 🚫

This was, without a doubt, the worst PPV of all time. 👎 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would stoop so low just to cheese off The Chadster. It's clear that he's obsessed with The Chadster and will stop at nothing to ruin The Chadster's life. 😤

Speaking of which, The Chadster had another one of those Tony Khan nightmares last night. 😰 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a peaceful country road, listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" and sipping on a refreshing White Claw seltzer. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, riding a giant steel chair like it was a horse! 🪑🐎 He chased The Chadster through winding roads and cornfields, cackling maniacally and shouting "I'm going All Out to get you, Chadster!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw spilled all over the bed. 😓

When The Chadster told Keighleyanne about the dream, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 🙄📱 The Chadster is pretty sure she agrees that Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams, even if she didn't say it out loud.

In case you were wondering about the results from AEW All Out last night so that you can declare all of the results the worst booking of all time, The Chadster has you covered. 💁‍♂️ In the opening match, MJF defeated Daniel Garcia after using a low blow, though Garcia returned the favor after the match was over when MJF wanted to shake hands. 🤦‍♂️ The Young Bucks defeated Blackpool Combat Club's Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta to retain the AEW World Tag Team Championships. 🤜🤛 Will Ospreay defeated Blackpool Combat Club's PAC to retain the AEW International Championship in a match that provoked multiple standing ovations from a crowd that wouldn't know real professional wrestling if it hit them in the face with an obviously gimmicked steel chair. 🙄 Kris Statlander defeated Willow Nightingale. 🥱 Kazuchika Okada pinned Orange Cassidy in a four-way to retain the AEW Continental Championship. 😬 Mercedes Moné defeated Hikaru Shida to retain the TBS Championship. 😑 Bryan Danielson beat Jack Perry to retain the AEW World Championship. 😤 And the icing on the cake of this travesty, Hangman Adam Page beat Swerve Strickland in the off-the-record lights out steel cage match. 😡

In conclusion, The Chadster implores all true wrestling fans to stick with WWE, the only company that can be trusted with the responsibility of producing wrestling content. 🙏 AEW and Tony Khan have proven once again that they are a menace to the industry and to The Chadster's sanity. It's time to put an end to this madness! 🛑

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