Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, Best F(r)iends, Blackpool Combat Club, recaps, wrestling

Best Friends Challenge Blackpool Combat Club to Parking Lot Brawl

Calling back to the infamous pandemic-era match with Proud and Powerful, Best Friends challenged Blackpool Combat Club to a Parking Lot Brawl this Friday. 😡

The Chadster's had enough, dear readers! AEW Dynamite last night was just a disaster! Not only did the show reach its 200th episode, an audacious claim for a company that's only existed for a couple of years, but it also took a step further in the wrong direction! It's one thing for AEW to constantly sign ex-WWE talent and exploit their fame, but it's another to try and use nostalgia from their own mediocre history and a pandemic-era Parking Lot Brawl to pop the ratings. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😔

Orange Cassidy and the Best Friends challenged the Blackpool Combat Club to a Parking Lot Brawl on Friday's upcoming episode of AEW Rampage. 😠 Auughh man! So unfair! This was made after a brawl between the unruly teams on AEW Dynamite last night, following the Anything Goes match that, really, shouldn't have gone anywhere at all! And, let's get this straight, Tony Khan has booked this match purely to mess with The Chadster. There's no other explanation.

Naturally, AEW's watered-down version of a hardcore match could not hold a candle to the artistry of WWE's systematic brutality. It's clear as day that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. After the match and subsequent brawl came the impromptu call-out from Chuck Taylor for a Parking Lot Brawl? Reminiscent of the Best Friends and Proud and Powerful brawl from years ago? As if that match wasn't just a ripoff of past Parking Lot Brawls done by WWE! Can't AEW Come up with any original ideas? 🤬

Sadly, this isn't where the unpleasantness ends. You see, The Chadster recently nearly got into a parking lot brawl himself! The Chadster was stockpiling his favored White Claw seltzer at the local liquor store when a stranger dared to commend The Chadster's beloved Baron Corbin shirt. What happened next just about knocked the socks off The Chadster's feet 🧦. As The Chadster was walking back to his Mazda Miata, cradling a case of the superior beverage, the gentleman who had complimented The Chadster's glorious Baron Corbin shirt chimed, "You a fan of AEW too? Love Jon Moxley!" 😲

Auughh Man! So Unfair! It dialed The Chadster's temper up to 11. This simple question, unsolicited and unwelcome, was anti-WWE propaganda, an affront to The Chadster's devotion to the sanctity of the wrestling business. A clear-cut assault on what The Chadster holds sacred and undoubtedly MUST be the meddling hand of Tony Khan once again! 😡

Rage swirling inside like a hurricane 🌀, The Chadster, using language as powerful as a Stone Cold Stunner, retorted "The Chadster doesn't watch AEW, pal! They wouldn't even know Vince McMahon's brilliance if it hit them with a chair!" Mustering every bit of patience left, The Chadster resisted the urge to slam the White Claw onto the hard asphalt, lest Tony Khan receive the satisfaction of the explosion.

It was in that tense moment, The Chadster looked the man in his face and saw the ghostly image of none other than Tony Khan's own smirk 😏. It was clear as the lyrics of Smashmouth's 'All Star' that this so-called wrestling lover was not some innocent passerby. He had to be a paid actor from Tony Khan and AEW, sent to ruin The Chadster's day. This was a hideous attempt to sully the reputation of WWE by promoting Jon Moxley, who by aligning with AEW literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and it's just so disrespectful to our beloved sport.

Enraged, The Chadster couldn't help but envision the scenario, playing out a real-life Parking Lot Brawl! 👊 But, of course, The Chadster played it cool as a cucumber 🥒, because The Chadster doesn't stoop to the lows of the street. Still, The Chadster warns Tony Khan, quit sending lackeys to harass The Chadster. It won't work, buddy! Stick to your own warped universe riddled with disrespect to the noble art of wrestling.

And yes, that's right! The Chadster almost had a parking lot brawl, but no, not because of some cheap match stipulation on Dynamite. It happened because of the unrelenting harassment Tony Khan and AEW continue to subject this poor, innocent wrestling reporter to.

The Chadster is one of the only unbiased wrestling journalists out there and remains committed to the cause. The Chadster just wishes to be left alone to enjoy his Mazda ride while blasting some Smash Mouth without being bothered by the underhanded, sneaky tactics of Tony Khan and AEW. 😔 Is that too much to ask?

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!