Part two of our Impact Wrestling report featured no matches on a very story-heavy episode of Impact. But we promise there will be matches in this part.
Impact Wrestling Report for September 22nd, 2020 Part 3
Rob Van Dam and Katie Forbes come to the ring. This match was made on social media last week, apparently, on Rob Van Dam's "Whole F'n Talk Show," which I guess is on Youtube or something? I'll check it out later. Sami Callahan comes out. Hey, I almost forgot there were wrestling matches on this show!
Rob van Dam vs. Sami Callahan
- If RVD wins this match, Katie Forbes gets five minutes alone in the ring with Sami Callahan.
- There's a long fight outside the ring before the match even gets started.
- This goes pretty much like the last match between these two. Callahan beats the crap out of RVD until he gets distracted by Forbes, at which point Van Dam hits some moves.
- In a funny line, Josh Matthews asks if Katie Forbes constantly hears music in her head, since she's always dancing and twerking.
- Anytime RVD botches a move, Matthews talks about how old he is.
- There's a commercial break during the match. Dreamer puts over Sami and RVD. He says RVD changed the face of the business and also apparently found the fountain of youth. "Whatever he's drinking, or smoking is working for him." He puts over Katie Forbes twerking. He says he feels awkward seeing his friend's girlfriend's butt on social media all the time. They talk about Heath some more. Dreamer says that #HeathForImpact is trending right now, which is amazing, given all the badness going on in the world. IS it really? Let's check… well, as far as I can tell, it's not in the top twenty.
- After the break, Van Dam works a camel clutch and then body scissors on Callahan until Callahan makes a comeback.
- But Forbes sprays Callahan in the face with hair spray when the ref isn't looking, and RVD rolls him up for the win.
Forbes gets five minutes to beat on Callahan now. Callahan almost manages to piledrive Forbes while RVD is grabbing a weapon from under the ring, but he sees it in time and stops it. Van Dam goes for a frogsplash on Callahan while Callahan has a chair on top of him, but Forbes turns around to twerk and doesn't see Callahan get up and throw the chair at Van Dam's head. It was a nasty chair shot. Callahan piledrives Forbes and counts his own pin on her.
Gia Miller talks to Ace Austin and Madman Fulton backstage. Austin says he always has a plan. Last week, he pinned Chris Sabin, which means… Fulton says they're next in line for the tag team titles. The North shows up, and they disagree; they held the belts for over a year. They deserve the shot. Fulton gets in their faces. They say Fulton and Austin were lucky to get to team with the North last week. The team won, but it's The North who were responsible. Fulton threatens Ethan Page. Page says they can have a match next week to see who's the best tag team and who deserves the title shot.
Impact takes another commercial break. Dreamer claims #Heath4Impact is trending at number 16 worldwide, which he says is higher than #AEWDark. Oh, hey, there it is:
I'll never doubt you again, Tommy. Dreamer talks shit about the Emmalina gimmick in WWE and says Tenille Dashwood's star will shine tonight. He puts over Jordan Grace too. George Iceman, the most enthusiastic man in the world, is blown away by Dreamer's statements. Iceman kisses Dreamer's ass. Then Dreamer puts over Eddie Edwards. He compares him to Bret Hart and Cody Rhodes for defending his title weekly when he was champ. But Dreamer also puts over Eric Young. He talks about how "sad" it was that Young was paid to sit at home at WWE. Dreamer is talking mad trash on WWE tonight. He's on such a roll; Impact even delays returning to the show so he can continue. George Iceman is starting to sweat. He keeps trying to cut Dreamer off, but Dreamer isn't paying attention.
Finally, Dreamer stops and Impact returns… with commercials for Impact Plus and Bound for Glory. Then Johnny Swinger vs. Fallah Bahh, the winner gets to be John E. Bravo's best man. Rosemary and Taya vs. Havok and Neveah. The Reascalz vs. the Good Brothers. Ace Austin and Madman Fulton vs. The North. And now, at last, the Impact main event.
Kaleb, with a K, interrupts David Penzer's introductions. He takes the mic himself to introduce Tenille Dashwood. He puts over social media and then brings her out. And then Impact takes another commercial break. Oh, come on! Hmm, no Dreamer and Iceman? It's just an Impact Returns Soon graphic. Maybe Dreamer got the hook for running overtime on the last break. Nope, after a few minutes, Iceman and Dreamer are back to push #Heath4Impact again. The goal is to get it to #5, so Heath can have a job. Well, unfortunately, it's fallen to #18 since the last break.
Impact comes back, and Jordynne Grace comes to the ring. And now, for real this time, the main event.
Jordynne Grace vs. Tenille Dashwood
- Grace beats up Dashwood early, but Dashwood tricks her and slams her from the apron to the floor.
- After that, it's all Dashwood for most of the match.
- Kaleb, with a K, takes photos of the match with his iPhone.
- Grace finally makes a comeback with about 4 minutes left in the show. She hits her offense and a Michinoku Driver that either almost breaks Dashwood's neck or was performed so well it worked me. It looked like she barely got Dashwood off the ground, though.
- After some more back and forth, Dashwood hits The Spotlight Kick and gets the win.
Dashwood poses for more photos after the match. Impact signs off, and then we see (I think) Eddie Edwards leaving the building. The lights go out, and he gets jumped, presumably by Eric Young. And that's it.
This was an extremely story-heavy episode of Impact and thus light on wrestling. Only five matches tonight, and one of them consisted of only a rollup, so really four. And they were all relatively short. Even the main event only had ten minutes. But I actually prefer wrestling television that way. Save the big matches for the PPV and give me soap opera drama and character development on television. And there was plenty of that today. It was a really entertaining episode and not in a trainwreck way like Raw last night. Impact continues to be on a roll, and I also really enjoyed getting to hear from Tommy Dreamer during the breaks on Twitch.
This post is part of a multi-part series: Impact Wrestling Report for September 22, 2020.