Posted in: Comedy Central, Opinion, TV, TV | Tagged: opinion, south park

Kristi Noem Using South Park to Promote ICE; What About Dean Cain?!?

It seems U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security's Kristi Noem would rather use Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park to promote ICE than Dean Cain.

UPDATE: Not long after we reported that U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security "Cosplay Queen" Kristi Noem wasn't thrilled with how she heard she was portrayed (becuase she didn't actually watch it) during Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park S27E02: "Got a Nut" (and the news hit that the second episode was already blowing past the Season 27 opener's viewing numbers), it seems Noem has had a change of that thing in her chest that's reportedly a heart. Instead of being hypocritically judgmental, Noem is now taking a page out of the ICS playbook and attempting to use Parker and Stone's work as a promotional tool for ICE.

Setting aside the fact that using a show that portrayed you and your agents in such a horrific light is a pretty dumb idea, what does it say about Dean Cain (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) that Noem would choose Parker and Stone over him? Cain's been telling anyone who will give him free airtime that he's ready to sign up for ICE; he might've even officially signed up by the time you're reading this. So why not get him in some tights and start trotting out "Captain ICE"? Here's a look at what Noem posted, followed by a look back at our original report from earlier:

Trey Parker and Matt Stone's South Park S27E02: "Got a Nut" didn't pull any punches when it went after U.S. Dept. of Homeland Security "Cosplay Queen" Kristi Noem and Vice-President JD Vance. While noting that she hadn't watched the episode because she "was going over budget numbers and stuff," Noem was somehow still able to comment on it when she checked in with The Glenn Beck Program (yup, Glenn Beck is still apparently a thing). "But it's so lazy to just constantly make fun of women for how they look. Only the liberals and the extremists do that," Noem said. "If they wanted to criticize my job, go ahead and do that, but clearly they can't; they just pick something petty like that." Before we get to that, we wanted to pass along a follow-up, with South Park's Twitter account's new profile pic proving that a picture is truly worth a thousand words sometimes…

Okay, a few things. If she wants to take issue with anyone who likes to "constantly make fun of women," she should wander on over to the Oval Office for a one-on-one with "The Orange One." Yeah, they did go after Noem's looks – just as they've gone after the looks of famous men and women over the seasons. But the vast majority of their focus was on Noem as a horrible person, like how she views killing a dog as some kind of personal badge of honor, her obsession with cosplay press ops, or how she has absolutely no experience, skills, or intelligence to be doing the job that she was gifted.

South Park Takes on Kristi Noem, JD Vance

After Mr. Mackey finds himself unable to cover his ever-growing "nut" after losing his job as a school counselor, he sets aside his morals and principles for a paycheck from Noem's ICE crew. While Mr. Mackey's storyline was an interesting one that examined how easy it is to sell out when you're looking to make ends meet, it was how the South Park team targeted Noem and Vance that grabbed the headlines.

Between posing for press photo ops, Noem went on a paranoid dog-killing spree, even taking down a dog that looked and acted a whole lot like Krypto along the way. Maybe it had to do with her face being so filled with botox that it had become sentient and was seeking a new host (like in Jim Carrey's The Mask) or her justified paranoia over Trump looking to replace her with Mr. Mackey as the face of ICE. Whatever the reason, Noem was portrayed as a raging whackjob so obsessed with deporting people of color that she had ICE go from raiding a local production of "Dora the Explorer Live!" to storming the gates of Heaven to round up the non-white angels.

After Mr. Mackey is invited to Mar-a-Lago to meet with Trump as a thank you for the great work that Mr. Mackey has been doing with the ICE raids, Vance enters the scene, serving as "Tattoo" to Trump's Mr. Rourke in a direct "Fantasy Island" parody. Ummm… let's just say that it didn't quite end there. After being named the new head of Homeland Security, Mr. Mackey is invited to join Trump in a threesome with Satan – and that's when we learned what Vance's real role is in the administration: "Would you like me to apply the baby oil to Satan's asshole, boss?"

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