Smackdown 8/7/2020 – Alexa Bliss and The Fiend Live Sex Celebration

WWE Smackdown continues to trudge along. Sometimes, don't you just wish a bunch of black-clad hooligans would show up and break things, just for a change of pace? Ah well. For those of you who didn't get enough of Sheamus earlier tonight, this is the part of the recap for you. But first…

Alexa Bliss and the Fiend, sitting in a tree... on WWE Smackdown
Alexa Bliss and the Fiend, sitting in a tree… on WWE Smackdown

WWE Smackdown 8/7/2020 Report Part 2

The Progressive Match Flo of the Week shows Shinsuke Nakamura and Cesaro beating the New Day for the Smackdown Tag Team Championships. Cesaro comes to the ring with Nakamura and Lucha House Party come out. Before the match, that furry, Lince Dorado, cuts a promo about Cesaro and Nakamura kicking them out of their championship victory party last week. Tonight, Dorado will get revenge on Cesaro.

Cesaro vs. Gran Metalik

Cesaro doesn't look pleased to be fighting a furry. He takes control of Dorado from the beginning and hits some stuff forearms and clotheslines. Dorado fires back with a hurricanrana, which sends Cesaro out of the ring to the floor. Dorado hits a dive. During this match, the lights flicker a little bit, and Corey Graves makes reference to Retribution, the name of the new Antifa stable that WWE claims isn't political. It's a poorly done reference because all anyone who watched Raw saw was a video of people in hoodies throwing Molotov cocktails at a generator. The name Retribution was announced on the internet, but are viewers to assume everyone watching Smackdown is also keeping up with WWE on the net?

Back inside, Dorado gets a sunset flip for two. Then he goes for a springboard crossbody, but Cesaro catches him and hits a backbreaker. Cesaro stretches Dorado and drops an elbow. Pin attempt. Dorado makes a comeback. He hits a springboard stunner and goes to the corner for his triple moonsaults. Nakamura interferes before the third one, and Cesaro gets Dorado up for a Razor's edge. But Durado reverses that to a rollup for two. Cesaro hits an uppercut and a Gotch Neutralizer for the three-count.

Winner: Cesaro

Damn, Cesaro beat Lince Dorado way faster than AJ Styles beat Gran Metalik last week. Maybe Cesaro should go for the Intercontinental Championship.

Backstage, Kayla Braxton asks Otis if he can channel his anger tonight in a match with Tucker against Miz and Morrison. Otis says he likes jokes, but Miz and Morrison have been crossing the line. What Sonya Deville did last week was despicable, and Miz and Morrison won't leave it alone. Otis doesn't mind jokes on him but won't stand for jokes on his girlfriend. No one is gonna be laughing when Heavy Machinery takes on Miz and Morrison tonight. Jeeze, all Sonya did, was give Mandy a haircut. Better than going out to the salon and catching coronavirus. Sonya did Mandy a favor!

Smackdown Live Sex Celebration – The Fiend and Alexa Bliss

The lights go out, and The Fiend comes to the ring. The Fiend may be an unkillable supernatural monster, but he knows how to work a TV production and doesn't mind standing around through a set of commercials. After the break, The Fiend is in the ring with Alexa Bliss, who is sitting in the middle of the ring looking helpless. He circles her as she sits on the floor. He gets down on his hands and knees and crawls over to her. He goes to put the mandible claw on, but she blocks his hand and caresses his face. Umm.

Braun Strowman interrupts from the Titantron. He calls Bray a sadistic bastard. But he says he doesn't give a damn about Alexa. All he cares about is destroying Bray. Braun channels Jake the Snake while he cuts a promo about letting the darkest part of himself out and fulfilling his destiny. He says he's the thing that nightmares are made of. The Fiend can have whatever he wants, but at SummerSlam, he'll face his fears and face the monster. Commercials again.

Baron Corbin comes out to the ring, followed by Jeff Hardy. They're going to have a match.

Baron Corbin vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy kicks things off with a reverse atomic drop on Corbin and then goes after Corbin's arm. Corbin fights back, but Hardy hits a running forearm, another atomic drop, the leg drop to the balls, and a dropkick. Corbin kicks out of a pin attempt. Corbin does his run in and out of the ring thing and gets a clothesline at Hardy for a two-count. Corbin hammers on Hardy. He tosses him outside the ring near the announce table. He leans him against the table and punches him in the face. Corbin tosses Hardy back in and goes for the pin, getting two. He works on Hardy with elbows and a headlock.

Hardy fights back, but Corbin won't let go. After a while, Hardy fights back again an elbows his way out. Corbin charges Hardy in the corner. He does the slide out and back in thing, but Hardy meets him with a baseball slide. Hardy attacks outside and throws Corbin back in but then eats a Deep Six for a two-count. Corbin goes for End of Days but Hardy blocks. Corbin knees him into the face, sending Hardy outside the ring once again. Sheamus runs out and kicks Hardy in the fact, costing Corbin the match, as revenge for Shorty G costing Sheamus his match earlier.

Winner by Disqualification: Jeff Hardy

Corbin tries to get at Sheamus, but refs get in the way. Smackdown goes to commercials.

Sheamus vs. Baron Corbin

Oh my god, it's our lucky day! Sheamus and Corbin are having a match after the break. Sheamus is beating the crap out of Corbin. Two Sheamus matches in one night? Two Baron Corbin matches in one night? Chad has probably creamed his pants right about now. If this doesn't get Smackdown a ratings boost, I don't know what will. After Sheamus beats the crap out of Corbin for a while, Corbin finally gets some offense in on the outside. After inflicting suitable ringside violence, he tosses Corbin back in the ring, but when Corbin tries to follow, Sheamus clotheslines him right back out. Now Sheamus inflicts ringside violence. Sheamus's violence is better because he ram's Corbin's bald head right into the ring post. Sheamus tosses Corbin back in and goes to the top rope. He misses a diving clothesline, and Corbin hits a side slam.

Corbin mounts Sheamus and punches him. He tosses him into the ring post through the corner. Corbin slaps on a vicious… rest hold. The same one he spent most of the Hardy match in. Hey, if The King is gonna wrestle twice in one night, he's gotta conserve his energy. Corbin holds onto this thing for dear life as Sheamus makes several attempts to break out. But all good things must come to an end. Sheamus lifts up Corbin for White Noise, but Corbin blocks and clotheslines him. Matt Riddle comes flying through the ring, distracting Corbin. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick and gets the pinfall. Riddle dances on the ramp while Corbin writhes around in the ring.

Winner: Sheamus

Clearly, WWE is giving the fans what they want. Backstage, Sasha Banks asks Bayley if she's okay. Bayley says she's fine. She does say she wishes Sasha asked her before booking her in that match with Asuka last week. But Sasha says not to sweat it, and besides, Sasha needs Bayley to do this for her. Bayley points out Asuka probably wants revenge for Kairi Sane, but Sasha says it's not about what Asuka wants. It's about Sasha and Bayley's friendship. An official walks up and tells them to come to the ring for a video conference with Stephanie McMahon. Smackdown goes to commercials.

Man, Stephanie McMahon hasn't left her house since the pandemic started. She even filmed her Money in the Bank ladder match from her bathroom. Vince must be really disappointed his daughter is buying into this coronavirus hoax. Click below for part two.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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