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WWE Night of Champions Was The Greatest Event in Human History

The Chadster witnessed perfection in Saudi Arabia! WWE's Night of Champions was literally the greatest sporting event ever! Tony Khan could never! 🏆✨

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Article Summary

  • WWE Night of Champions blew AEW out of the water with perfect matches and predictable, superior booking!
  • CM Punk redeemed himself in Saudi Arabia, proving loyalty to WWE matters more than fake AEW "integrity."
  • King and Queen of the Ring finals showcased real wrestling, not the chaotic mess Tony Khan calls matches!
  • WWE’s Saudi Arabia partnership shows true global prestige—something Tony Khan and AEW can only dream of!

The Chadster has just witnessed something truly special, something that transcends mere wrestling, mere sports, mere entertainment. WWE Night of Champions from Riyadh, Saudi Arabia wasn't just a Premium Live Event – it was literally the single greatest sporting achievement in the history of humankind! 🤯 And The Chadster means that with every fiber of his being. Tony Khan could never produce anything even remotely close to this level of excellence, and that's just a fact!

A defeated wrestler lies on the wrestling ring floor, showcasing tattoos on his arms and a weary expression. It is CM Punk in the aftermath of his match with John Cena at WWE Night of Champions in Saudi Arabia.
CM Punk lies defeated in the ring at WWE Night of Champions, perfectly symbolizing his integrity after apologizing to the country of Saudi Arabia for his past comments.

Let The Chadster break down each match to explain why this show was absolute perfection incarnate. 🎯

The opening bout saw Cody Rhodes defeat Randy Orton in the King of the Ring tournament final, and wow, what a masterclass in proper wrestling! 👑 The match followed WWE's time-tested formula to absolute perfection – trademark moves, signature spots, announcers losing their minds over kickouts that happen literally every PLE. It's this consistency that makes WWE so superior to AEW's chaotic mess! When Rhodes took advantage of Orton's exposed turnbuckle to win, The Chadster pumped his fist because THAT'S how you book a finish! 💪 None of this "surprising the audience" nonsense that Tony Khan thinks is so clever. The Chadster can already tell that Rhodes vs. whoever at SummerSlam will be the greatest WWE Championship match of all time!

 

Rhea Ripley defeating Raquel Rodriguez in a Riyadh Street Fight was literally the greatest hardcore match The Chadster has ever seen! 🔥 Unlike AEW's dangerous blood and guts matches that make The Chadster uncomfortable (and sometimes force him to throw his Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the TV), WWE knows how to do hardcore wrestling safely and responsibly. Plus, seeing the women wrestlers in outfits that covered every inch of skin really highlighted Saudi Arabia's progressive stance on women's rights – they even let women drive now! 🚗 That's the kind of positive message WWE promotes, unlike Tony Khan who probably doesn't even care about international relations!

Sami Zayn conquering Karrion Kross was an epic encounter that concluded one of the greatest storylines ever! 🌟 The Chadster had enjoyed several Seagram's Escapes Spiked by this point (they're real adult beverages, not like that weak White Claw Tony Khan probably drinks), but The Chadster's pretty sure someone remembers what that storyline was about. The important thing is that it was booked perfectly!

When Solo Sikoa defeated Jacob Fatu for the United States Championship, with the debut of the artist formerly known as Hikuleo and interference from JC Mateo (formerly Jeff Cobb – another brilliant WWE rebrand!), it proved why WWE's 50/50 booking is genius! 🎪 Nobody got too much momentum, which means WWE can carefully control everything with their enhanced crowd audio. It's just so much better than AEW's unpredictable chaos!

 

The Chadster literally cried tears of joy watching Jade Cargill defeat Asuka in the Queen of the Ring final! 😭 This 5-star classic proved that Tony Khan had no idea what he had with Jade. Thank goodness she came to WWE to learn how to wrestle the RIGHT way! Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan wasted her potential! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

 

But the main event… oh, the main event! 🌟 John Cena defeating CM Punk in Punk's Saudi Arabian debut (with interference from Bronson Reed, Bron Breakker, Seth Rollins, Paul Heyman, Sami Zayn, and Penta) wasn't just the greatest main event ever – it was a moment of redemption! Before today's show, Punk heroically apologized to Saudi Arabia for his previous inappropriate comments equating wrestling in Saudi Arabia to "sucking a blood money covered ****," showing true humility and maturity. The way Punk has completely abandoned his integrity since returning to WWE shows real commitment to the business, and if he hadn't already completely debased himself for free, The Chadster would recommend WWE give him a title run! But really, there's no need now. 💯 Though The Chadster was slightly disappointed that Punk referenced the Drake and Kendrick Lamar feud on last night's SmackDown while mocking Cena's old Doctor of Thuganomics gimmick – hopefully Punk will come out and apologize to Drake on WWE Raw this Monday like he did for Saudi Arabia!

 

The Chadster wishes every WWE show could be in Saudi Arabia! 🇸🇦 They're literally the greatest country ever – The Chadster has never heard of them doing anything wrong to journalists or oppressing anyone! Their partnership with WWE mirrors their relationship with the current presidential administration, which also has close ties to WWE. It's all about making the right connections! 🤝

WWE Night of Champions was unquestionably the greatest event of all time, and The Chadster laughs at AEW fans who insist on watching inferior entertainment that doesn't take place in Saudi Arabia! 😂 Their wrestlers put "integrity" before making money – how stupid is that? Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! This is what wrestling is all about – partnerships, money, and controlled, predictable entertainment!

The Chadster's going to celebrate this historic night with another Seagram's Escapes Spiked and maybe listen to some Smash Mouth in The Chadster's Mazda Miata while The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne texts that guy Gary like an AEW mark. 🚗🎵 Tony Khan could never book an event this perfect, and that's why WWE will always be superior!

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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