Welcome to the Thanksgiving edition of X-ual Healing. To give thanks for getting to take an actual day off from writing about nonsense like comics and pro wrestling, I saved up two weeks' worth of X-Men recaps to publish on Thanksgiving while I'm gorging myself on Turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, and multiple versions of pie. That means there are six chapters of X of Swords recapped this week in X-Force #14, Hellions #6, Cable #6, X-Men #15, Excalibur #15, and X of Swords: Destruction #1. And take my word for it, my opinion on this beast of a crossover will change from one article to the next. In addition to that, there's Juggernaut #3.
Hey Bleedingcool, have been a follower since 2015, but what kind of reporting is this? Is this sarcasm, satire or just poor writing? Really hard to understand.
-A Twitter Follower complaining about a Fanboy Wrampage column
Why can't it be all of them at once?
Alright, enough yammering. It's recap time!
Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics for lovers of soap opera drama.
JUGGERNAUT #3 (OF 5)
(W) Fabian Nicieza (A) Ron Garney (CA) Geoff Shaw
JUGGERNAUT ON TRIAL!
It's no secret Juggernaut has been on the wrong side of the law in the past… but can even justice stop him? Or will he tear down the system?
32 PGS./Rated T+
In Shops: Nov 18, 2020
The Juggernaut is on trial for damage to a construction company he's caused in New York City. He has a lawyer named Bernie Rosenthal who makes the case that the time Spider-Man fought Juggernaut in The Amazing Spider-Man #229-230, the damage was actually Spider-Man's fault. In fact, Spider-Man probably owes Juggernaut damages for trapping him in concrete for months. The building shakes, and something is happening outside.
In a flashback, we see Juggernaut travel to North Korea, where he meets a man who has harnessed the power of the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak into a suit of armor. But that man did this so that he could become Cyttorak's avatar, and he doesn't plan to hand it over to Cain Marko.
Quicksand is outside, and she demands Juggernaut hand over D-Cel. Juggie notices something is off about her. They fight, and he gets tossed away, leaving D-Cel to fend off Quicksand while the Agents of Damage Control use their scientific instruments to learn Quicksand is being mind-controlled. Juggernaut returns, and they tell him to remove her head, which he does.
Back in the flashback, as Marko battles the designer of the armor, the armor ends up falling onto him, and he becomes The Juggernaut again. His lawyer settles the lawsuit by offering a settlement: the construction company gets all the wreckage from this fight, and a bunch of sand, in exchange for dropping the suit. Meanwhile, Damage Control traces the radioactive chemical used to control Quicksand back to a for-profit prison company called Absolution Solutions run by Arnim Zola.
A fun issue with a nice callback to a classic story. I'm enjoying the simple and self-contained nature of this mini-series and would love to see more. Juggernaut's new armor being made out of the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak is the kind of charmingly dumb comic book concept I really love. Fabian Nicieza is a dude who gets mad at me whenever I bring up that time Rob Liefeld compared him to a janitor (when really it's Liefeld he ought to be mad at), but he is a pretty great writer nonetheless. Give him and Ron Garney something ongoing, please.
Read more X-ual Healing here:
This post is part of a multi-part series: X-ual Healing: Death to Turkeys Edition.
- Statute of Limitations Meets Marvel Time in Juggernaut #3 [XH]
- Saturnyne Continues Beating a Dead Horse in X-Force #14 [XH]
- Mister Sinister the Ultimate Winner of X of Swords? Hellions #6 [XH]
- Nate Gets His Butt Kicked, Cries to Mommy and Daddy in Cable #6 [XH]
- The X-Men Moment We've All Been Waiting For in X-Men #15 [XH]
- The Final Battle of X of Swords Begins in Excalibur #15 [XH]
- Did the Crossover Stick the Landing? X of Swords: Destruction #1 [XH]