Feeling down after coming second on Britain's Got Talent, Susan Boyle may feel in the mood to pop along to her local comic shop for a little escapist action. But what will she find there waiting for her? We took a little peek in a blatant attempt to up this new site's Google rankings.
ABSOLUTE SANDMAN – "I dreamed a dream in time gone by…", this comic book about a pallid, messy haired creature with big eyebows may resonate with Susan. Created by fantasy author Neil Gaiman. This edition has been recoloured, relettered, reformatted and reprinted in an oversize glossy fashion. A bit like Susan will be once she's feeling better and has signed her million poound contract.
BATMAN: THE SCOTTISH CONNECTION – by countrymen Alan Grant and Frank Quitely (currently working on Grant Morrison's Batman And Robin, out this week), this graphic novella from a few years ago took Bruce Wayne and Alfred out of the gold grey corridors or Gotham and dropped them on the wide open moors of Scotland. Batman vs Fog, basically. Quitely's artwork is much like Scottish artist Dudley T Watkins, creator of OOR WULLIE, THE BROONS and LORD SNOOTY, so there's some cultural affinity there.
GLAMOURPUSS – as the media and the public seem to pull Susan back and forth over whether or not she should have a makeover, Dave Sim's satire on the fashion industry should prove incisive, even if Susan has to get passed all the bits about feathered inking and crosshatching from the nineteen fifties.
THE FILTH – by Grant Morrison and Chris Weston. We've all read reports regarding Susan's rather fruity language at times of stress and this comic, again, written by a countryman is full of it. She seems quite the saucy individual, and there's plenty of that in this edgy science-fantasy remodelling of Gerry Anderson's creations.
GREEN ARROW AND BLACK CANARY – Woman who you assume is one thing until she opens her mouth and begins to sing? Check? And if indeed Susan has never been kissed, maybe she can find inspiration to seek out her very own Green Arrow. And then do the kind of things to him that only Kevin Smith would write. This series may also inspire Susan to pull on the fishnets.
THE QUITTER – by Harvey Pekar and Dean Haspiel, published by DC/Vertigo, the story of an unassuming man thrust into the media spotlight may be familiar, as is Harvey's lack of winning most things in life. Basically the lesson of this autobiohraphy is, do the opposite of everything Harvey does and life should work out just fine. You go, girl!
Thank you Susan for that brief glimpse at your comic book tastes. But remember, do remember to stay off the sweeties…
This is a satire by BleedingCool.com, and is not intended maliciously. BLEEDING COOL has invented all names and situations in its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental, or used as a fictional depiction or personality parody (permitted under Hustler Magazine v. Fallwell, 485 US 46, 108 S.Ct 876, 99 L.Ed.2d 41 (1988)). BleedingCool.com makes no representation as to the truth or accuracy of the preceding information.
Cartoon by Lar deSouza used with permission. Wolverine is copyright Marvel.