Posted in: Comics | Tagged: marvel, spider-man, steve wacker

When Steve Wacker Punched Himself In The Face

Published Mon, 25 Feb 2013 15:00:21 -0600

Last updated Tue, 26 Feb 2013 07:26:32 -0600

A nice collection of tweets by Steve Wacker, now preserved in their entirety to inspire (or dissuade) future comic book editors…

Okay…here we go…"How To Be an Editor" by Stephen Byron Whaquer

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

1-Ask a friend to go to her computer and to start sending 250-350 e-mails to you.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

2-Mark each of them HIGH PRIORITY.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

3 -Find 31-64 talented people, each of whom you need to make happy.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

4-Pretend they're all under contract to you and ask them too call with very legitimate questions and concerns…

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

5-many of which have to do with money so you feel even more pressured (If at least one of them only speaks another language…all the better!)

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

6-As the e-mails are "ding"ing into your mailbox, spill coffee on your shirt.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

7-IMPORTANT EDIT RULE I LEARNED THE HARD WAY #459: Don't put orig. art on your desk when there are any drinks around or fountain pens…or me.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

8-Have pal play an asst. editor and ask them to compile a couple dozen questions that another dept. needs answered so they can do budgeting.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

9-Answer one e-mail. (Eight more have dinged in….also the FTP is down.)

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

10-As the budgeting questions are asked, answer the phone. Oh, and some fan e-mail arrived…they hate you and want you fired! Whee!

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

11-Now grab a pile of papers and pretend it's 32 pages of the greatest super-hero in the world…

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

11 cont-…and you have 20 minutes to make sure there are no mistakes before it has to go to the Bullpen to be composited for the printer.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

12- Ding. It's another e-mail, you failure.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

13-Read page one of your comic 14 times as various calls and e-mails keep dinging. What was this story again?

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

14-You are interrupted by a dude…let's call him Schom Krevoort who will remind you of a meeting to discuss a very important spreadsheet.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

15-Try to start reading a script. Artist needs at least an opening scene. Also solicits are due today, you toad.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

16-Read page one again. It's a great page one. Make wish for a future filled with one page comics. Oh, you need a fun idea now for AR.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

17-Leave for meeting with list of five major things that MUST be done by you today, so other people can do their jobs.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

18–Don't forget to call British talent early. They're 5 hours ahead.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

19-YAY! Printed books are here! Your eye immediately goes to glaring error. Maybe critics are right about you?

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

20-Weep like Warren Ellis at a pub with no Wi-Fi.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

21- Stare at that page one again wondering if you're any good at this job in the first place. Also, the costume is based on old ref.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

22-Be told"you could act like a man" Don Corleone style by much smarter Assistant Editor.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

23-Artist just called. You forgot to send paper, ya idiot.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

24-Blame assistant. (That'll show her for being so smart!)

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

25 (almost done!)-Read page one again…dip into one panel of page two.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

26-Wait you did send paper. Need to call FedEx. Also FTP is working again…but now it's down.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

27-Get asked by a comic news site to answer 457 fan questions, many of which assume you're a dullard to start.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

28 -Spend 5-10 minutes discussing old comic story you liked with the 34 people you share an office with.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

29-Have an cool conversation with artist or writer you've admired. Learn something about how your EIC helped him break in as a young creator

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013

30-Get next month's schedule in order…minutes later find out you're losing two weeks because printer is closed. Punch self in face.

— Stephen Wacker (@StephenWacker) February 24, 2013