X-Men to Solve Erectile Dysfunction in Curse of the Man-Thing Finale

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, once again dipping my glorious toes into the waters of the Bleeding Cool comics section. I was invited by Bleeding Cool's esteemed comics reporter, Ricardo Johnstalbán, who said to me, "Your Excellency, please take a look at the Marvel May solicits, and, if it moves you, feel free to bestow the gift of your glorious words about them upon the people." And El Presidente cannot resist the opportunity to share his wit and wisdom with the people, so I took a look, and my friends, I was surprised to find that there are more to these comic chapbooks than just overly muscular characters in skintight costumes solving all of their problems with violence. Because in the latest issue of a three-part series of one-shots (don't try to make sense of that, comrades), The X-Men will solve the problem of erectile dysfunction in X-Men: Curse of the Man-Thing #1! No wonder Ricardo loves these things so much.

Look, comrades. The description of this comic revealed that Ted Sallis is afflicted by a curse, the curse of his Man-Thing. It is pretty easy to figure out what he's talking about. But according to that same description, the X-Men, who I understand are a very sexually liberated group, will aide Sallis in overcoming the curse of his Man-Thing so that he can "rise to his highest." El Presidente sees you, Ted Sallis. And do not worry: I am told that lots of guys experience that same problem. Not me, of course. No one is more virile than your El Presidente. Haw haw haw haw! But lots of other guys do.

Check out the solicit below, comrades, and remember, my friends: socialism or death!

X-MEN: CURSE OF THE MAN-THING #1
STEVE ORLANDO (W) • Andrea Broccardo (A)
Cover by DANIEL ACUÑA
Variant COVER by NABETSE ZITRO
MAN-THING'S CURSE HAS BEEN REVEALED…BUT IT'S UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT!
Years ago, DOCTOR TED SALLIS was ready to give up anything to crack the SO-2 serum and deliver success to his growing family. Unbeknownst to the rest of the world…he did. Today, as cities spanning from the U.S. to Krakoa are besieged by fear-driven blazes, the MAN-THING must reckon with his past deeds if he hopes to emerge renewed and rescue a world on fire. But fighting from his lowest means that Man-Thing can rise to his highest, especially with the unexpected help of the X-MEN'S resident sorceress MAGIK and her debuting team of monstrous mutants known as THE DARK RIDERS!
Part 3 of 3!
40 PGS./ONE-SHOT/Rated T+ …$4.99

There is no need to feel ashamed, comrade! Magik of the X-Men will help you overcome this Curse of the Man-Thing.
There is no need to feel ashamed, comrade! Magik of the X-Men will help you overcome this Curse of the Man-Thing.

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!