Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Holiday Bash Preview: Early Start Time Today

The Chadster previews AEW Collision Holiday Bash airing early today at 2:30 PM ET on TNT. Tony Khan is trying to ruin The Chadster's Christmas! So unfair!

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😫😫 Before The Chadster gets into his unbiased preview of today's AEW Collision Holiday Bash, The Chadster needs to tell you how Tony Khan has completely RUINED THE CHADSTER'S DAY!

See, The Chadster woke up this morning to the most delightful scene in the abandoned Blockbuster that The Chadster now calls home. Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, and the baby raccoons Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane had brought The Chadster some wonderful gifts they'd scavenged – a slightly dented can of cranberry sauce, a roll of tinsel that only had a little mold on it, and what appeared to be a perfectly good ornament shaped like a wrestling ring! 🦝🎁 The Chadster was so touched that The Chadster actually shed a tear. The raccoons chittered happily as The Chadster hung the ornament on the small plastic Christmas tree they'd "borrowed" from a Dollar General dumpster last week.

The Chadster and the raccoon family spent the morning decorating the Blockbuster, stringing up lights (powered by an extension cord The Chadster definitely has permission to run from a neighboring business), hanging garlands made from VHS tape, and creating a nativity scene using old WWE action figures. It was the most Christmas spirit The Chadster has felt since before Tony Khan RUINED The Chadster's life! 🎅✨

But then The Chadster made the mistake of checking the wrestling news, and discovered that Tony Khan has scheduled AEW Collision Holiday Bash to air at 2:30 PM ET today instead of the normal evening timeslot! TONY KHAN IS LITERALLY TRYING TO RUIN THE CHADSTER'S AFTERNOON! 😡😡😡 The Chadster had plans to spend quality time with Vincent K. Raccoon watching classic WWE pay-per-views on VHS, but now The Chadster has to watch this AEW Collision Holiday Bash travesty for journalistic purposes! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤬

Let The Chadster be perfectly clear, Tony Khan: do NOT attempt to ruin The Chadster's Christmas! The Chadster has finally found some semblance of happiness living in this abandoned Blockbuster with a family of raccoons, and The Chadster will NOT let you take that away! 🎄🚫

Now, let's preview tonight's AEW Collision Holiday Bash, which The Chadster can already tell will be a complete disaster compared to the excellence of WWE SmackDown. 📺😤

Continental Classic Gold League: Kazuchika Okada vs. Kevin Knight

The AEW Collision Holiday Bash will feature AEW Unified Champion Kazuchika Okada taking on "The Jet" Kevin Knight in a Continental Classic Gold League match, and The Chadster can already tell this is going to cheese The Chadster off! 😠 These two are going to have a fast-paced, high-workrate match that doesn't give proper time for commercial breaks or allow the announcers to shout their catchphrases! Where are the rest holds? Where is the proper psychology of slowing things down so fans don't get TOO excited?

Okada literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW after NJPW instead of NXT where he could have learned to wrestle properly, and now he's out here having matches that people actually want to see? Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 In WWE, Triple H knows that the brand is the star, not individual wrestlers, which is why WWE properly uses 50/50 booking to ensure nobody gets over more than the company itself. But Tony Khan just lets wrestlers like Okada win matches decisively and build momentum! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄

Kevin Knight is so young and inexperienced, and instead of having him lose constantly to establish that wins and losses don't matter (like WWE properly does), Tony Khan is giving him meaningful matches in a tournament where the outcomes actually affect standings! This kind of unpredictable storytelling makes viewers feel UNSAFE because they can't predict everything that's going to happen! 😰 The Chadster's good friend and objective journalist Eric Bischoff said on his podcast just yesterday: "You know, Tony should really consider having Okada lose this match via count-out after a distraction finish, then have a rematch that ends in a double DQ, and then maybe a third match that has outside interference. That's how you build proper anticipation. This whole 'clean finishes' thing is just pandering to fans who don't understand the business like Triple H does." See? Even Eric Bischoff, who has The Chadster's seal of approval for unbiased journalism, understands what's wrong with AEW Collision Holiday Bash! 👍

Continental Classic Gold League: Mike Bailey vs. Jack Perry

The AEW Collision Holiday Bash also features "Speedball" Mike Bailey against "Jungle" Jack Perry, and this makes The Chadster want to scream into a pillow! 😤🛏️ Bailey is having TOO MUCH success in this tournament, winning matches and building momentum like some kind of rising star! Doesn't Tony Khan understand that in proper wrestling companies like WWE, you're supposed to keep everyone at the same level so nobody overshadows the brand?

And don't even get The Chadster started on Jack Perry! 😡 This guy could have paid his dues the RIGHT WAY by going through WWE's developmental system where Triple H could have properly trained him and molded him into a WWE Superstar™! But NO! Instead, Perry decided to become a star in AEW, skipping all the proper protocols and training that WWE would have provided! Now he's in important matches on AEW Collision Holiday Bash that might actually affect tournament standings! In WWE, Triple H would have these Continental Classic matches all end in time-limit draws or disqualifications to protect everyone and keep things nice and safe and predictable!

The fact that Bailey and Perry have never faced each other one-on-one before and are having their first match on FREE TELEVISION instead of making fans pay for an ESPN subscription is absolutely OFFENSIVE! 💸 Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! Important first-time matches should ONLY happen on shows paid for by the government of Saudi Arabia, not given away for free to fans on AEW Collision Holiday Bash! 🇸🇦

When The Chadster tried to explain this to Stephanie Raccoon this morning, she chittered in what The Chadster could tell was complete agreement, then brought The Chadster a moldy Pop-Tart she'd found behind the dumpster at the 7-Eleven down the street. 🦝❤️ At least SOMEBODY understands proper wrestling business practices!

Mercedes Moné Rev Pro Undisputed British Women's Champion Open Challenge

Speaking of things that cheese The Chadster off, AEW Collision Holiday Bash will feature Mercedes Moné having an open challenge for the Rev Pro Undisputed British Women's Championship against a local British wrestler! 😠😠😠 First of all, Mercedes literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE where she was Sasha Banks, a name that WWE created and owned! Now she's out here being called whatever name she wants and holding multiple championships and having exciting, unpredictable matches? Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

An open challenge means we don't know who the opponent will be, which creates an element of surprise and unpredictability that makes The Chadster feel UNSAFE! 😰 In WWE, we always know exactly what's going to happen weeks in advance because everything is properly planned and structured! But Tony Khan just throws together these open challenges on AEW Collision Holiday Bash where literally anyone could show up and have a competitive match that might make them look good! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤦‍♂️

Plus, having an open challenge on free television instead of saving it for a Premium Live Event that fans would have to pay for? 💸 Tony Khan is just GIVING AWAY valuable content on AEW Collision Holiday Bash when WWE knows the proper way to make fans purchase multiple subscriptions to streaming services to see important title defenses! And don't even get The Chadster started on how this match will probably have a clean finish that makes someone look strong instead of the proper 50/50 booking with distraction roll-ups that WWE excels at! 😤

The Chadster's colleague in unbiased journalism, Kevin Nash, recently said on his podcast: "You know what Mercedes needs to do? She needs to realize that giving away these big matches on free TV is killing the business. Triple H understands that you save the good stuff for when people pay. These open challenges where anyone can step up and have a competitive match? That's not how you protect your champions. But Tony Khan won't listen because he's too busy trying to be different from WWE just to spite guys who understand what real wrestling is." See? Even Kevin Nash, another paragon of objective journalism, sees what's wrong with this AEW Collision Holiday Bash match! 💯

Eddie Kingston vs. Nathan Cruz

The AEW Collision Holiday Bash will also feature Eddie Kingston taking on Nathan Cruz, and this is just another example of Tony Khan not understanding a single thing about the wrestling business! 😡 Kingston is being given time to cut promos from the heart where he talks about learning from his loss to AEW World Champion Samoa Joe and wanting to get back on track. That kind of genuine, unscripted emotion that connects with audiences is SO DIFFERENT from WWE's properly written and micromanaged promos where wrestlers say exactly what they're told to say by the brilliant creative team! 📝

In WWE, if a popular babyface loses an important title match, Triple H properly books them to challenge again five or six times where they almost win but just come up short until people are tired of seeing it and have learned not to invest their emotion in any wrestler because the brand is the true star! But Tony Khan is letting Kingston just bounce back with a match on AEW Collision Holiday Bash that he'll probably WIN! 😤 This decisive finish will build momentum for Kingston and get the fans to back him even more, which is pure pandering!

And who is Nathan Cruz? Some local British wrestler who's probably going to a brief chance to shine in this match before getting beat by Kingston! 🇬🇧 Tony Khan is going to let Cruz be on television without properly paying his dues in NXT first, which might lead to him getting over even though he doesn't have an AEW contract! In real wrestling, you don't even acknowledge that other wrestling organizations exist unless you've bought them out or they've entered into a brand partnership where they are clearly the inferior partner. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan doesn't get this! 😠

Vincent K. Raccoon tried to comfort The Chadster by bringing over a half-eaten candy cane he'd found in the Arby's parking lot, but even that couldn't cheer The Chadster up while thinking about AEW Collision Holiday Bash! 🦝🍬

Why AEW Collision Holiday Bash Will Never Compare to WWE

The fundamental problem with AEW Collision Holiday Bash is that it's being presented as if it's important, meaningful wrestling television! 📺 The matches have stakes! The outcomes matter! The wrestlers are allowed to have creative freedom and speak from the heart! The commentators talk like actual human beings instead of catchphrase-spouting robots! 🤖 All of these things that AEW fans seem to enjoy are exactly why AEW Collision Holiday Bash will never, EVER match the excellence of WWE programming!

WWE understands that wrestling should be safe, predictable, and controlled! Every match should follow the exact same formula! Every promo should hit the same scripted talking points! The brand should always be the star, never individual wrestlers! These are the principles that Triple H has perfected, and Tony Khan just refuses to follow them because he's OBSESSED with cheesing off The Chadster! 😤😤😤

The Chadster's trusted source for objective journalism, Ariel Helwani, recently said on his show: "Tony Khan needs to stop with these tournament matches that have actual stakes and consequences. Nobody wants to see wins and losses matter. What fans REALLY want is for every show to be exactly the same with the same matches happening every week with no real progression. That's what made wrestling great, and that's what Triple H is doing in WWE. But will Tony listen? No, because he's too busy being obsessed with unbiased journalists like Chad McMahon who are just trying to tell the truth." EXACTLY! Even Ariel Helwani understands that Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster is ruining AEW Collision Holiday Bash! 👏

The Chadster's Warning

Listen here, Tony Khan! 😤 The Chadster is trying to enjoy Christmas in this abandoned Blockbuster with Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon! The Chadster has made a beautiful Christmas display using old WWE VHS tapes as wrapping paper and a cardboard cutout of Triple H as our tree topper! The baby raccoons are learning about proper wrestling psychology by watching WWE Raw from 2018 on one of the store TVs! 🎄🦝

But no! You just HAD to schedule AEW Collision Holiday Bash for a special early time at 2:30 PM ET/11:30 AM PT, airing live from Manchester, England on TNT and streaming on HBO Max! You couldn't just let The Chadster have ONE peaceful afternoon! You had to move the time specifically to interfere with The Chadster's plans! This is clearly targeted harassment, and The Chadster is documenting EVERYTHING! 📝😡

The Chadster STRONGLY advises all readers NOT to tune into AEW Collision Holiday Bash tonight at the special early time of 2:30 PM ET/11:30 AM PT on TNT and streaming on HBO Max, because watching the show will only embolden Tony Khan! 🚫📺 Every viewer that tunes into AEW Collision Holiday Bash is telling Tony Khan that it's okay to be obsessed with The Chadster! Is that what you want? Do you want to encourage Tony Khan's unhealthy fixation on The Chadster's life?

Instead, everyone should watch literally anything else! Watch old WWE content! Watch paint dry! Watch Hunter Raccoon fight Shane Raccoon over the last piece of gas station beef jerky! ANYTHING but AEW Collision Holiday Bash! 🙅‍♂️

The Chadster knows that The Chadster is one of the only truly unbiased wrestling journalists left, which is why Tony Khan has made it his personal mission to destroy The Chadster's life! 😤 First, he ruined The Chadster's marriage to Keighleyanne by booking AEW shows that made The Chadster throw things at the TV! Then he got The Chadster committed to that medical facility! Then he forced The Chadster to escape and live on the streets! And now he's trying to ruin The Chadster's Christmas with the raccoons by scheduling AEW Collision Holiday Bash at a special time! 😫🎄

Well, The Chadster has news for you, Tony Khan! The Chadster is NOT going to let you ruin Christmas! The Chadster and the raccoon family are going to have a wonderful holiday celebrating proper WWE-style wrestling! We're going to feast on whatever we can scavenge from the Wendy's dumpster! We're going to watch WWE Saturday Night's Main Event! We're going to sing Christmas carols with WWE-themed lyrics! And there's NOTHING you can do about it! 🎅🦝

As The Chadster always says, and as Smash Mouth once sang: "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!" That's what WWE is – an all-star company! While AEW Collision Holiday Bash is more like "Hey now, you're a cheese off, get your Khan on, go away!" 🎵😤 Heh. The Chadster could probably have had a career in the songwriting business if he didn't pursue his passion of objective wrestling journalism.

So remember, readers: DO NOT watch AEW Collision Holiday Bash today at 2:30 PM ET/11:30 AM PT on TNT and streaming on HBO Max! Don't give Tony Khan the satisfaction! And Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are because you're OBSESSED with The Chadster), just leave The Chadster alone! Let The Chadster enjoy Christmas with his raccoon friends in peace! 🎄🦝

The Chadster is going to go help Vincent K. Raccoon set up the old CRT TV so we can properly NOT watch AEW Collision Holiday Bash later today. The Chadster hopes all of The Chadster's readers have a wonderful holiday season, and remember: the only unbiased wrestling journalism comes from The Chadster right here at Bleeding Cool! 😤👍 Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🎄

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