Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: Saturday Streaming Strains Chadster's Sanity

The Chadster suffers through another AEW Collision! 😡 Tony Khan's latest assault on wrestling leaves The Chadster cheesed off and having nightmares. 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching another episode of AEW Collision 😡. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and The Chadster can't believe he's still allowed to run a company. Let's break down this travesty of a show, shall we? 🙄

First up, we had Cope vs Big Bill. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tony Khan clearly booked this match just to cheese off The Chadster. Cope winning via ref stoppage? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. And don't even get The Chadster started on Chris Jericho being on commentary. He's literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by associating with AEW. And The Chadster gets what "Cope" is trying to do — rip off WWE who gave him a monosyllabic name. Well, "Cope," The Chadster hopes you enjoy when WWE sues you violating its trademark on one-syllable names. 😂

Then we had "Hangman" Adam Page cutting a promo on Christopher Daniels of all people, a guy whose biggest moment in pro wrestling was when he was almost the Higher Power. The Chadster couldn't believe his ears when Page talked about "maiming" Daniels. This kind of violent language has no place in professional wrestling! 😱 WWE would never stoop so low, but if they did, The Chadster would be okay with it because they'd be doing it the right way. Daniels responded later on, trying to hype up their match for Dynamite on Wednesday in a cheap attempt to draw viewers.

The match between PAC and Komander was just a spotfest with no story. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand that wrestling is about storytelling, not flips and kicks. 🤦‍♂️ And the post-match brawl? So unnecessary. WWE knows how to end matches cleanly. And what's with PAC's name, anyway? It's clearly an inferior version of WWE's legendary X-PAC. 🙄

The Death Riders vs The Outrunners was another example of AEW's complete disregard for tag team wrestling fundamentals. The Chadster bets Tony Khan was cackling with glee watching this mess unfold. 😒 Meanwhile, Vince McMahon is rolling over in his grave.

Powerhouse Hobbs cutting a promo on Jon Moxley was just crude. Using words like "b****" on TV? It's clear Tony Khan has no respect for family-friendly programming. The last thing the wrestling business needs is a company getting looser with the foul language just because they've landed a deal with a streaming service.

The match between Mariah May and Harley Cameron was way too short. The Chadster knows WWE would never shortchange its women's division like this, but if they did, it would be for the right reasons. Tony Khan obviously doesn't care about women's wrestling. 😤 Unlike WWE, whose commitment to women's empowerment is evident in the multiple hush money payments made to former talent and employees. 💰

Brody King's squash match against Trevor Blackwell was pointless filler. And that post-match interaction with Cope? The Chadster is sure Tony Khan is just trying to confuse fans with these convoluted storylines. Wrestling isn't about convoluted storylines, Tony Khan. It's about getting the most sponsors to paint on your ring mat. 🙄

The TNT Championship match between Daniel Garcia and Katsuyori Shibata was just a chop-fest with no real wrestling. The Chadster knows that real wrestling involves rest holds and slow-paced action, not this high-impact nonsense.

Finally, the main event between Dax Harwood and Chris Jericho was an overbooked mess. The post-match brawl was pure chaos, and The Chadster is certain Tony Khan was backstage, rubbing his hands together with glee at the thought of The Chadster's distress. 😡 Not cool, Tony Khan!

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night after watching AEW Collision, and it was really disturbing. The Chadster was walking through a dense, foggy forest, the thick mist making it hard to see more than a few feet ahead. 🌲 Uneasy, The Chadster clutched a White Claw for comfort while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on a loop. 🐺 The rustling of leaves made The Chadster turn around, and there he was: Tony Khan appeared in the moonlight, his eyes gleaming with a mischievous glint, wearing a smug smile that sent shivers down The Chadster's spine. As The Chadster tried to run, the fog seemed to part wherever Khan stepped, allowing him to glide effortlessly through the forest like a phantom of obsession. Thinking quickly, The Chadster maneuvered around the trees, but Khan kept closing in, whispering promises of a wrestling world controlled by chaos and defiance. Just when his breath warmed the back of The Chadster's neck, The Chadster woke up in fright, clutching the pillow tightly and wishing the nightmare would end. 😰

The Chadster is convinced that Tony Khan is invading his dreams now. It's not enough that he's ruined wrestling, now he's trying to ruin The Chadster's sleep too! When will Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster end?

Anyways, AEW Collision was another slap in the face to true wrestling fans. The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with WWE. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world. 🎤

As the great Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio last week, "AEW is like a high school play compared to WWE's Broadway production. Tony Khan needs to learn from the masters or pack it up." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective assessment. 💯 Once again, these unbiased journalists speak the truth that Tony Khan refuses to hear.

The Chadster tried to explain all this to Keighleyanne, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. It's clear that Tony Khan's influence has even infiltrated The Chadster's marriage. When will the torment end? 😭

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