Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Unbiased Review: 100 Bad Episodes Streak Continues

The Chadster reviews AEW Collision's awful 100th episode! Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster reaches new lows. Plus: another disturbing dream! 😤🤬

The Chadster just finished watching what can only be described as the worst episode of AEW Collision in the history of professional wrestling. And yes, The Chadster means that literally! Tony Khan has outdone himself this time, booking every single moment of AEW Collision's 100th episode specifically to cheese off The Chadster. Auughh man! So unfair! Doesn't he have anything better to do?! 🤬

Let The Chadster start with Adam Cole opening the show and actually thanking the fans like some kind of people-pleaser. Where were the corporate-approved talking points? Where was the scripted dialogue that ensures everyone sounds exactly the same? Instead, Cole just went out there and spoke from the heart like he actually cared about the audience. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Then Kyle Fletcher and Daniel Garcia came out and had an actual conversation that advanced multiple storylines at once. They referenced their history, set up future matches, and gave viewers a reason to care about the main event. Don't they understand that wrestling segments should be completely isolated from each other with no continuity? Wrestling fans only care about "moments." Everyone knows this! The Chadster was so frustrated that The Chadster threw a Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the TV when they actually made the main event mean something!

"Tony Khan owes The Chadster for that seltzer!" The Chadster yelled at Keighleyanne, who just rolled her eyes and said, "You threw it at the TV yourself, Chad." She clearly doesn't understand that Tony Khan made The Chadster do it by booking compelling television! She went right back to texting that guy Gary while The Chadster had to clean up the mess. Thanks a lot, Tony Khan, for ruining The Chadster's marriage and making a mess on his floor! 💔

The three-way match between Kevin Knight, Shelton Benjamin, and Nick Wayne was another example of Tony Khan not understanding a single thing about the wrestling business. They had all this fast-paced action with no rest holds! How are fans supposed to catch their breath or check their phones during matches? Tony Khan's match production is a complete nightmare. WWE knows that you need at least five minutes of headlocks in every match to properly pace things. 🙄

Willow Nightingale dominated Vipress in a match that was way too short and decisive. Where was the back-and-forth? Where was the drama? Nightingale just came out, hit her moves, and won cleanly without any interference or shenanigans. This is exactly what's wrong with AEW Collision – they think fans want to see wrestlers they like actually win matches! Don't they understand that true wrestling fans prefer when their favorites lose constantly to protect other people and ensure nobody gets too much momentum because it's supposed to be the WWE brand that's the draw? The Chadster almost choked on his Seagram's Escapes Spiked when Nightingale hit the Babe With The Powerbomb and actually got the victory! 😤

The trios match with Místico, Hologram, and Mark Briscoe against RPG Vice and Hechicero was another disaster of high-flying action and crowd-pleasing moves. These guys were doing hurricanranas, Spanish flies, and tope suicidas like they actually wanted to entertain the audience! Where were the basic moves that kill the crowd's energy? Where was the boring mat-based wrestling that puts people to sleep? Even worse, they had the audacity to let the good guys win with La Mística, which got the crowd excited and invested. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤸‍♂️

Speaking of nightmares, The Chadster had another one about Tony Khan last night. The Chadster was at a movie theater watching WWE highlight reels when suddenly the screen started showing AEW Collision instead. The Chadster tried to leave, but all the exit doors led to different AEW arenas. Tony Khan appeared in every row, multiplying like some kind of horror movie villain, all whispering "100 episodes" in unison. The Chadster ran up the projection booth stairs, but they turned into a wrestling entrance ramp. At the top, Tony Khan was waiting in a director's chair, filming everything. "This is for episode 101, Chad," he said, his eyes glowing with an otherworldly light. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and Keighleyanne didn't even care when The Chadster tried to tell her about it. She just mumbled something about "needing therapy" and went back to sleep. Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😰

One of the worst parts of AEW Collision was Scorpio Sky returning after two years away to answer Max Caster's open challenge. He came back, the crowd went crazy, and he won his match decisively in under five minutes. Where was the 50/50 booking? Where was the distraction finish? Sky literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by returning to AEW and getting a pop from the crowd!

FTR versus The Outrunners was another match that went way too long with way too much storytelling. The Outrunners showed heart, FTR showed veteran savvy, and the crowd was emotionally invested. Didn't anyone tell them that tag team matches should be formulaic with the exact same structure every single time? The Chadster doesn't want to be surprised or emotionally invested – The Chadster wants to know exactly what's going to happen so that he can feel safe and secure! 🎭

The women's eight-person tag match was particularly offensive because it gave multiple women storylines and character development at the same time. Doesn't Tony Khan understand that you're only supposed to focus on one feud at a time so that the fans can follow along without having to think too hard? Athena, Julia Hart, Thunder Rosa, Queen Aminata, Anna Jay, Tay Melo, Megan Bayne, and Thekla had so many intertwining angles that The Chadster's head started to hurt, and he had to shotgun three Seagram's Escaped Spiked beverages just to get through it. Bully Ray said it best on Busted Open Radio last week: "AEW doesn't understand that wrestling should be simple. One heel, one babyface, pipe in the crowd noise, have commentary shout the same two or three catchphrases over and over throughout the match, and that's it. Tony Khan is overthinking this." See? Even unbiased journalists with the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval agree with The Chadster! 💯

And don't even get The Chadster started on the main event between Fletcher and Garcia. They bled, they told a story, they had near-falls that actually meant something, and the crowd was invested the entire time. Where were the commercial breaks in the middle of important moves? Where were the announcers shouting catchphrases or wondering what John Cena is thinking instead of calling the action? Tony Schiavone and Nigel McGuinness were just… talking about the match like normal people! It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand that commentary should be about branding, not enhancing the viewer's experience! 📺

The worst part of this entire AEW Collision was how it set up multiple matches for All In with actual stakes and reasons to care with its promos and backstage segments. Toni Storm cut a promo that was intense and different from every other promo on the show. The Chadster could actually tell the wrestlers apart by their personalities! Then Claudio Castagnoli had the audacity to deliver a measured, intense promo about wanting his championships back from Powerhouse Hobbs and The Opps – where was the screaming and over-the-top gesturing? Ricochet was even worse, being all mysterious and cryptic about his relationship with the Gates of Agony instead of just explaining everything in corporate-speak! And don't get The Chadster started on Anthony Bowens and Billy Gunn having an actual conversation about their miscommunication and trust issues – that's the kind of character development that makes viewers care about wrestlers as people! In WWE, everyone would have delivered the same promo with the same cadence, as it should be. That's real wrestling!

The whole show was clearly Tony Khan's way of personally attacking The Chadster on this milestone episode. 100 episodes of AEW Collision means 100 weeks of The Chadster's life that Tony Khan has ruined. When The Chadster tried to explain this to Keighleyanne while she was making dinner plans with that guy Gary, she just said, "Then stop watching it," which shows she doesn't understand that The Chadster HAS to watch to warn others about Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster! The Chadster is providing a public service!

This was literally the worst episode of AEW Collision of all time because it was good television that entertained fans and advanced storylines. The Chadster is going to drink an entire twelve-pack of Seagram's Escapes Spiked and watch WWE reruns from 2009 to try to erase this from The Chadster's mind. At least back then, wrestling made sense – everything was predictable, nobody got too over, and matches all followed the exact same pattern! 🍺

Remember, true wrestling fans: always stand up for WWE, like unbiased fans should. Don't let Tony Khan trick you with his "entertaining television" and "compelling storylines." Real wrestling is about corporate synergy and making sure nobody gets more over than the brand itself! The Chadster knows the truth, and now you do too! As Smash Mouth once said, "Only shooting stars break the mold," and Tony Khan needs to stop trying to break WWE's perfect mold! 🌟

Until next time, this is The Chadster, keeping wrestling journalism unbiased and honest, one truth bomb at a time! 💣

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