Welcome to Bleeding Cool's recap of AEW Dark. "What?!" you ask? "Since when does Bleeding Cool recap AEW Dark? Since this week, folks.
Bear Country vs. Jurassic Express
Excalibur and Taz welcome us to AEW Dark and then Justin Roberts introduces Bear Country, who come to the ring. These guys names are Boulder and Bronson. Their opponents, Jurassic Express head to the ring next. Ricky Starks joins the commentary team.
So are these guys bears in the sense of being large, vicious animals, or are they bears in the sense of their sexual classification? That question will require more investigation at a later date. For now, it's enough to know that they are agile for their size and match up well against Jurassic Express. Bear Country control for the majority of the match until Boulder accidentally Doomsday Devices his own partner, holding Bronson on his shoulders to hit a move on Jungle Boy only for Luchasaurus to clothesline him off the top rope. A moment later, Jungle Boy gets the pin.
Winners: Jurassic Express
Bear Country seem promising.
Tesha Price vs. Nyla Rose
Tesha Price heads to the ring, smiling an awful lot for a sacrificial lamb. Nyla Rose heads out with Vicki Guerrero. Vicki is wearing a sweater covered in bows. Not clothing bows, but the stick-on bows you buy to put on gifts. As expected, Nyla destroys Tesha.
Winner: Nyla Rose
I like a good squash match every now and then. Reminds me of watching wrestling on Saturday mornings back in the day.
Sonny Kiss vs. Miro
Sonny Kiss heads to the ring. Miro comes out with Kip Sabian. Sorry, Sonny. It was nice knowing you. After playing with him a bit, Miro puts Kiss in the Accolade. He has a new spin on it, leaning backward onto his own back, which completely changes the move and makes it look way more vicious.
We see a commercial for Scorpio Sky's new pop culture podcast with some dude from Rooster teeth.
Promo: The Waiting Room
Rebel introduces Britt Baker for an edition of The Waiting Room. I've never seen one of these, having not watched Dark in a long time. It's a nice little set with a couch, some photos on the wall of Britt and Britt w/ Tony Schiavone. There are some Christmas decorations, including a tree with no lights or ornaments.
In an opening monologue, Baker thanks Tony Khan for replacing their wall (which I guess Scorpio Sky broke) and then gloat about beating up Thunder Rosa. Britt claims Sting will be on The Waiting Room soon. She talks about tomorrow's Dynamite, going through the matches and making fun of the babyfaces. Then she brings out Christopher Daniels and Frankie Kazarian.
Kaz is unhappy with Daniels. He says the year has sucked for SCU, but he knew all along he could rely on Daniels. Until now. He blames Daniels for losing to The Acclaimed on Dynamite last week. He cuts a promo about how everything he has in life is because of the wrestling business. He says Daniels is his best friend and his brother and they've traveled the world for 20 years. Kazarian apologizes for letting his professional frustrations affect their friendship.
Daniels tells him not to apologize for being passionate about wrestling. He says it's not Kaz's fault he's passionate about wrestling. Daniels says he should apologize because he lost that passion. 2020 has been full of failure and Daniels has hated coming to work and getting in the ring. He says maybe that means it's time for him to retire before he ruins his legacy.
He tries to leave, but Kazarian stops him. He says Daniels can't do that to the fans and their friends and loved ones and himself. He asks Daniels to regain his passion and fight by Kaz's side. Kaz has a way to raise the stakes. He vows that the next time they lose as a tag team, they're finished as a tag team forever. Daniels agrees.
Kazarian challenges TH2, who are in the audience, to a match. They leave. Baker complains that her guests talked too much. I enjoyed that segment. The Waiting Room needs a window so Daniel can eventually superkick Kazarian through it.
Jasmine Allure vs. Thunder Rosa
Jasmine Allure heads to the ring. A graphic tells me she's making her AEW debut. Thunder Rosa heads to the ring next. Allure never has a chance. Rosa wins with the Fire Thunder Driver.
Winner: Thunder Rosa
Better luck next time, Jasmine. Rosa screams that she's coming for Britt Baker next.
Lee Johnson vs. Stu Grayson
Lee Johnson heads to the ring with QT Marshall. Stu Grayson comes out with all of Dark Order, though only Evil Uno stays at ringside. Grayson hits his finisher, which I've never seen before. It's a backbreaker where he drops Johnson from his shoulders into a huge backbreaker and it's called "The Knightfall," referencing Bane breaking Batman's back in that classic 90s comic book event. Cool!
Winner: Stu Grayson
Grayson gives Johnson a fist bump as a show of respect after the match. QT Marshall looks suspicious.
Alex Gracia vs. KiLynn King
Alex Gracia heads to the ring. KiLynn King heads out next. They have a match. Gracia wins with a neckbreaker in what the announcers tell me is an upset.
Winner: Alex Gracia
As a result of her win, Gracia will face Hikaru Shida on Dynamite.
Peter Avalon vs Mike Verna
"Pretty" Peter Avalon comes out. I guess he's not doing the librarian gimmick anymore? He issues an open challenge: the Pretty Peter's Pageant Provocation. "Man of Steel" Mike Verna comes out, making his debut. American flag tights or not, you can't just steal Superman's nickname, guy!
Verna's gimmick appears to be his strength, but he's not that big. Bigger than Avalon, but not by much. I wonder how that will play out if and when he makes it to Dynamite.
Avalon wins with a double knee attack called the Marti-knees
Winner: Peter Avalon
The announcers are horrified by a huge booger caught on Avalon's mustache. Avalon leaves a signed photo of himself on the back of Mike Verna. Avalon's gimmick is very 80s and I kinda love it.
Vertvixen vs. Red Velvet
Vertvixen (that's her name) comes to the ring. Red Velvet comes out. Since Red Velvet is the wrestler I've actually seen on Dynamite before, I assume she'll be going over here. She does, with a dropkick.
Winner: Red Velvet
This was your basic squash match. AEW clearly sees big things for Red Velvet's future.
Fuego del Sol, Aaron Solow, and Ray Jaz vs. Colt Cabana, 5, and 10
Fuego del Sol, Aaron Solow, and Ray Jaz head to the ring. Colt Cabana, 5, and 10 head out next. No one else from Dark Order stays at ringside. They have a match. It's long. 10 pins Fuego del Sol. I think.
Winners: Dark Order
There's a small child named -1 watching from the stands who is apparently feuding with Marco Stunt.
Madi Wrenkowski vs. Leyla Hirsch
Madi Wrenkowski, in her AEW debut, heads to the ring. Leyla Hirsch is out next. We saw her fight Serena Deeb on Dynamite a few weeks ago. She's really short and stocky (Cagematch has her at 4'11", 125 pounds) with a strong amateur wrestling background. Taz seems to identify with her a lot. Wresnkowski talks a lot of trash while wrestling. Hirsch makes Wresnkowski tap to an armbar.
Winner: Leyla Hirsch
Hirsch's nickname is also her gimmick: Legit. If she hasn't signed with AEW yet, they'd better offer her a contract.
Terrence and Terrell Hughs vs. The Gunn Club
Terrence and Terrell Hughs head to the ring. These guys are D-Von Dudley's sons. Gunn Clubb comes out. Colten and Austin Gunn are doing the wrestling with Billy Gunn at ringside. Everyone exchanges hugs before the match. Once the bell rings, it's all business. Colten gets the pin with a Colt 45 neckbreaker.
Winners: The Gunn Club
Everyone celebrates together in the ring. TNT need to get D-Von in as their manager. Is he under contract to WWE?
Rey Fenix vs. Danny Limelight
Danny Limelight comes to the ring. His gimmick is he's from Brooklyn, like the Brooklyn Brawler I guess. Rey Fenix comes out next, alone. Not that he's gonna need backup to win a glorified squash match!
It's actually not such a squash. Limelight gets a lot of offense. There's a bit of fooling around here as they pull off some ridiculous acrobatic spots. In one, they try to have a slap fight while perched on the ropes. Fenix has to help Limelight keep his balance there.
Ultimately, Fenix wins with Black Fire Driver.
Winner: Rey Fenix
Fenix is all tuned up for his upcoming title match.
Serpentico vs. Matt Sydal
Serpentico heads to the ring with Luther. They do a nifty thing with their entrance where Serpentico shoots silly string out of his hands. Matt Sydal comes out. I think this is the main event.
Imagine being Matt Sydal, making your big debut in AEW, whiffing it by slipping off the ropes, and then being relegated to Dark. Oof! On the bright side, Sydal gets the win here after a good match with no major botches.
Winner: Matt Sydal
Excalibur runs through the card for Dynamite and that's the end. I had fun watching AEW Dark. I might try and fit it into my weekly schedule. Watch the episode here: