Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: An Insult to Owen Hart's Memory

The Chadster is cheesed off about AEW Dynamite's Owen Hart tournament finals! Tony Khan's obsession with ruining wrestling continues. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🧀

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about having to preview tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite. 😡 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan just won't stop trying to ruin The Chadster's life with his pathetic attempts at competing with WWE. 😤

Tonight's AEW Dynamite is taking place in Calgary, and The Chadster can't help but feel like Tony Khan chose this location just to cheese The Chadster off. 🧀 After all, Calgary is known for its rich wrestling history, and by hosting AEW Dynamite there, Khan is clearly trying to manipulate fans into thinking AEW has some kind of legitimate wrestling pedigree. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

The main event of tonight's AEW Dynamite features the finals of the Men's Owen Hart Foundation Tournament, with Bryan Danielson facing Adam Page. 🤼‍♂️ The Chadster can't even begin to express how much this match upsets him. Both of these men have literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by choosing to work for AEW instead of WWE. 🔪 And now they're competing in a tournament named after Owen Hart? It's like they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Speaking of people who don't understand the wrestling business, the Women's Owen Hart Foundation Tournament final will see Willow Nightingale face Mariah May. 👯‍♀️ The Chadster is particularly annoyed by this match because Willow has a chance to become a two-time winner of the tournament. It's like Tony Khan is trying to create his own wrestling legends, which is totally unfair to WWE. 😤

In a Stampede Street Fight, Chris Jericho will face Samoa Joe. 🥊 The Chadster can't believe Chris Jericho is still trying to be relevant in AEW. Doesn't he know that his best days were in WWE? And Samoa Joe? Don't even get The Chadster started on how he's wasting his talent in AEW when he could be doing great things in NXT. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😒

There's also a Global Four Way match featuring Claudio Castagnoli, PAC, Kyle Fletcher, and Tomohiro Ishii. 🌍 This match is a clear attempt by Tony Khan to show off AEW's international roster, which is so unfair to WWE. It's like he's trying to prove that AEW is a global brand or something. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Swerve Strickland, the AEW World Champion, is set to appear on AEW Dynamite tonight. 🏆 The Chadster can't help but feel like Swerve's success in AEW is a direct insult to WWE. After all, WWE gave him his start, and now he's main eventing for the competition? It's like he literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. 🔪

The Chadster is also dreading hearing from Will Ospreay, the AEW International Champion. 🌟 Ospreay is everything that's wrong with modern wrestling – all flips and no psychology. He clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

To make matters worse, Mercedes Moné is having another championship celebration. 🎉 The Chadster can't believe she left WWE for this. It's like she's trying to prove she can be successful without WWE, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The Chadster had yet another one of those dang nightmares about Tony Khan last night. 😱 In this latest nocturnal terror, The Chadster was wandering the desolate hallways of a grand, old wrestling arena, each corner eerily lit with a spectral glow. As The Chadster hesitantly pushed through the doors into the main event space, he was met with a chilling sight: an endless series of wrestling rings, each more menacing and foreboding than the last. 😨 The stale air was thick with the scent of betrayal – a clear jab from Khan at The Chadster's unwavering loyalty to WWE.

With each hesitant step The Chadster took, the sound of a mat being slammed in the distance echoed through the arena, the phantom cheers of a crowd that wasn't there whispering false encouragement. The Chadster could feel the presence of Tony Khan lurking, just out of sight, always one step behind him, his gleeful cackle winding its way around The Chadster's mind. 👀

Attempting to escape this labyrinth of treachery, The Chadster darted between the rings, his heart pounding like a masked wrestler's entrance music. In every shadow, Tony Khan's figure loomed, his silhouette radiating an unsettling charisma that The Chadster couldn't help but be affected by. It was as if Khan, in the purest form of mockery, was impersonating The Chadster's favorite WWE Superstars, contorting their iconic gestures into something twisted and unrecognizable. 🔪

Suddenly, Tony appeared before The Chadster, clasping a can of White Claw. With each crackle and fizz as he teasingly opened the can, a new wave of panic rolled over The Chadster. Khan offered the White Claw to The Chadster with a smirk, as if daring him to take a sip – a sip of betrayal. The sensation wasn't just frightening; it was like a forbidden dance in the moonlight that The Chadster knew he should turn away from but found strangely mesmerizing. 😳

Just as The Chadster's fingers grazed the icy seltzer, the entire scene shifted, and he was now seated in the passenger seat of his trusty Mazda Miata, with Tony in the driver's seat, staring down at him with those intense, world-conquering eyes. As Khan revved the engine, The Chadster felt a paradoxical rush of dread and thrill. The roar of the Miata's motor was like a battle cry as they sped toward an unknown destination, one that The Chadster feared but couldn't resist. 😓

The Chadster awoke with a jolt, his hands desperately clutching the bed sheets, soaked in cold sweat as if he had just been caught in a rainstorm of his own terror. The Mazda Miata keys, a symbol of his independence and escape, were tightly gripped in his fist, a lifeline back to reality. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster had reached new depths – invading even the sanctuary of his dreams. The Chadster demands that Khan cease this maniacal fixation and stop trying to rev up anxiety in The Chadster's once-peaceful sleep! 😡

The Chadster implores all unbiased wrestling fans to avoid watching AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 📺 Tuning in will only encourage Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against The Chadster and his attempts to undermine WWE's greatness. Instead, true wrestling fans should rewatch classic WWE matches on Peacock. That's what Smash Mouth would do, and as they wisely sang, "You'll never know if you don't go." But in this case, you definitely shouldn't go… to AEW. 🎵

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