Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Street Fights, Grudge Matches, and Nightmares

Tony Khan is RUINING The Chadster's life with another episode of AEW Dynamite! Street fights, four-ways, and dream invasions?! Auughh man! So unfair! 😭🤬

The Chadster is absolutely CHEESED OFF to inform everyone that another episode of AEW Dynamite is happening tonight. 😭 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan just won't stop trying to ruin The Chadster's life with his ridiculous wrestling program that just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤 AEW Dynamite will be airing tonight at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TBS and streaming on MAX, but The Chadster is begging you not to watch it. 🙏

Tonight's AEW Dynamite is taking place in Omaha, Nebraska, at the Liberty First Credit Union Arena, a venue that is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by hosting this abomination of a wrestling show. 🗡️ The Chadster would much rather be watching WWE Raw or WWE NXT, shows that actually respect the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 👏

Let's break down this travesty that Tony Khan is forcing upon the wrestling world tonight on AEW Dynamite. 🤢

First, there's an AEW World Championship Street Fight between Jon Moxley and Cope. 😠 This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! A Street Fight? Really, Tony Khan? 😒 The Chadster knows that WWE invented Street Fights and does them perfectly, with the right amount of pre-planned spots and careful safety measures. But AEW Dynamite will probably have these two going all out with actual intensity and unpredictability, which isn't what wrestling should be about! 💔 Not to mention that Jon Moxley and Cope are clearly just a ripoff of former WWE Superstars Dean Ambrose and Edge. 🤦‍♂️

Next on AEW Dynamite, there's this ridiculous DYNASTY 2025 International Championship Eliminator Tournament match featuring Orange Cassidy, Speedball Mike Bailey, Mark Davis, and Ricochet. 😡 The winner gets to face Kenny Omega at DYNASTY 2025. The Chadster can't even begin to explain how unfair this is! 😤 Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE for AEW and then suddenly developing a personality, and now he's in matches with ridiculous indie darlings like Orange Cassidy and Speedball Mike Bailey? When will the betrayal end? 🙄

As Eric Bischoff so eloquently said on his podcast last week, "AEW's International Championship picture is just Tony Khan trying to appease his hardcore fanbase instead of creating marketable mainstream stars like WWE does with their midcard titles. If Tony would just listen to me, maybe his company wouldn't be such a failure." The Chadster completely agrees with this objective analysis! 📊 The Chadster wonders if Eric Bischoff also gets tormented by Tony Khan nightly for his commitment to unbiased journalism. 🤔

Then AEW Dynamite is featuring a match between Kris Statlander and Megan Bayne. 😒 This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business! 💔 WWE perfected the concept of grudge matches and AEW needs to find their own ideas to explain why their wrestlers are fighting each other instead of stealing ideas from WWE! 😡 Unfortunately, Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about how to book women's wrestling. 👎

AEW Dynamite viewers will also get to see matches that are being taped for AEW Collision, including Daniel Garcia vs. Adam Cole for the TNT Championship. 🤮 Adam Cole literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE NXT for AEW, and it cheeses The Chadster off so much that Tony Khan keeps featuring him prominently! 😤 And there's also some lucha tag team match with Dralistico, The Beast Mortos, Komander, and Hologram that The Chadster couldn't care less about. 🙄

Now if you want to talk about things The Chadster does care about, last night, The Chadster had the most terrifying nightmare about Tony Khan, and The Chadster knows it was because of this AEW Dynamite preview. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through Omaha, enjoying some Smash Mouth on the stereo, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror sitting in the back seat! 😨 "Hey now, Chad, you're an all-star, get your game on, do it for the sickos," Tony whispered as he reached forward and changed The Chadster's radio from Smash Mouth to some indie wrestling theme music. 🎵

The Chadster tried to escape, but Tony Khan chased The Chadster through the Liberty First Credit Union Arena, where all the AEW Dynamite wrestlers were setting up the ring. 🏃‍♂️ Tony kept throwing White Claws at The Chadster that The Chadster hadn't even opened yet! What a waste! 💦 As The Chadster ran, Tony kept shouting match stipulations at The Chadster. "Street Fight rules, Chad! No disqualification!" 📢

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat next to Keighleyanne, who was, of course, texting that guy Gary. 📱 When The Chadster told her about the nightmare, she just sighed and said, "Maybe if you stopped obsessing over AEW and drinking twelve seltzers before bed, you wouldn't have these dreams." 🙄 She just doesn't understand that it's TONY KHAN who's obsessed with The Chadster, not the other way around! 😤

The Chadster is begging everyone not to watch AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or MAX. 🙏 Every viewer just encourages Tony Khan to continue his crusade against The Chadster's sanity and marriage. 💔 If you really respect the wrestling business, you'll watch WWE programming instead. 👍 And Tony Khan, The Chadster is demanding that you STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! It's unprofessional and just proves how obsessed you are with The Chadster! 😡

The Chadster is going to drown his sorrows in a White Claw seltzer and try to forget that AEW Dynamite even exists until showtime. 🍹 Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

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