I'm Jude Terror, and this is The Shovel, the wrestling recap column where, at great risk to my mental health, I watch eleven (or more) hours of wrestling each week, seven of them produced by WWE(!!!), and then tell you what happened so you can sound knowledgable when you talk trash about them online without needing to actually waste your time actually watching them. Yeah. You're welcome. Today's edition covers the Wednesday Night Wars between AEW Dynamite and WWE NXT.
AEW Dynamite Recap for December 16th, 2020 Part 1
It's the last normal edition of AEW Dynamite before three straight weeks of special holiday-themed episodes, but we'll have to talk about that later because Dynamite wastes no time in getting things started…
Match: Hangman Page and Dark Order vs. Matt Hardy and Private Party
Hangman Page and the Dark Order come to the ring to open Dynamite. Matt Hardy and Private Party come out. They have a match. Here's what you need to know. Dark Order tried hard to work as a team with Page. Hardy heels it up. He steals the pin by tagging himself in after Private Party hit Gin and Juice on Alex Reynolds.
Winners: Matt Hardy and Private Party
Private Party look a little apprehensive at first, but a win is a win and they celebrate with Hardy. The long-term question is whether they go along with him on the heel turn.
Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone, and Excalibur talk about tonight's card. MJF is holding the New York Times Best Performance of 2020 award. He says he couldn't have done it without Chris Jericho or the Inner Circle. He showers Jericho in patronizing praise. Dynamite takes a commercial break.
Match: Cody Rhodes vs. Angelico
Cody Rhodes and Brandi Rhodes announce they're pregnant via a video package. Man, the Nightmare Family is really becoming bloated with members. Cody comes to the ring with Brandi and Arn Anderson. TH2 comes out. Cody and Angelico have a match. A lot of the match takes place during a picture-in-picture, the highlight of which is Arn Anderson shoving the crap out of Jack Evans, sending him tumbling backward. Cody wins this one with a springboard cutter.
Winner: Cody Rhodes
Taz comes out while Cody is celebrating with his newly expanded team: Brian Cage, Powerhouse Hobbs, Ricky Starks, and Taz's son, Hook. They talk some trash while Darby Allin watches from the stands. Taz says they're coming to the ring to beat up Cody. The lights go out. It's Sting! With a bat. Team Taz retreats. Sting and Darby Allin stare at each other from across the arena. Dynamite takes a commercial break.
After the break, Alex Marvez talks to Miro. He says AEW fined Miro 75,000 for attacking officials next week. Miro says that next week on Dynamite he's gonna announce the date of Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford's weddings.
Promo: Eddie Kingston
Eddie Kingston comes to the ring. He trashes the crowd in the building and the fans at home and then he addresses his enemies. The first enemy: God. Wow! Second enemy: Pac. Kingston says Pac went home and he's not coming back. His career is over. Third enemy: Lance Archer. Archer doesn't wait. He runs out and kicks the shut out of Eddie. But The Butcher, The Blade, and The Bunny run out to save Kingston. They beat Archer down with some difficulty. Then the Lucha Bros show up. They face off. Pac comes running in out of nowhere. The punches start flying. Lance Archer and Pac get in a confrontation over which of them gets to get the final kick in on Kingston as the heels retreat.
Dasha talks to Dustin Rhodes. She asks if he's considered the Dark Order's offer. He says Seven was a bad idea years ago and it's still a bad idea. He cuts a promo on Evil Uno and how he's gonna go through the Dark Order one on one. His promos are so old school. I love late-career Dustin Rhodes.
Best Friends, Varsity Blondes, and Top Flight vs. Inner Circle
Best Friends come to the ring and Orange Cassidy goes to the commentary booth. He puts on a pair of headphones that aren't plugged in and just sits there. Dynamite takes a commercial break and the rest of the face team is out: The Varsity Blonds and Top Flight. Inner Circle comes out. No Wardlow, who announced earlier today he wouldn't be at the show due to a family matter, which is also why Brandon Cutler was removed from this match on the babyface team.
Brian Pillman Jr. gets a big showcase early in the match and JR and Tony are more than happy to put him over. After a twelve-man brawl wherein the faces clear the ring, they do a six-man Best Friends hug. The match ends when Hager hits an F-10 on Griff Garrison after Jerich hits him in the back with a bat. MJF calls for Hager to tag him in and gets the pin.
Winners: The Inner Circle
Top Flight clears the ring of misbehaving heels after the match.
AEW Dynamite Continues…
That's just one half of Dynamite, and one half of the clicks you're going to give us if you want to find out what happened in the second half. Click down below to read part two.