Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Fails to Compare to Superior WWE Smackdown

Join The Chadster's ride through AEW Rampage's wreckage, as he shows how it thoroughly pales in comparison to WWE Smackdown. 😤👎

🙌 Welcome back to the Chadster's home at Bleeding Cool, your island of honest wrestling journalism in a sea of biased AEW-fanboy tomfoolery. This time, The Chadster is here to talk about the disaster show that was this week's AEW Rampage 😡. Yes, Tony Khan has done it again, folks – served up yet another heaping helping of anti-WWE hogwash and Big Mac wrestling moves marked like an absolute disgrace.

Opening with a slapdash mess of a Royal Rampage for a shot at the TNT Championship, The Chadster swears, it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. With an elimination match that was more 'the usual suspects' than anything else, RAMPAGE had Darby Allin come out on top after some seriously questionable tricks. The Chadster isn't surprised, AEW's matches and their outcomes just don't have the storytelling heart and soul as WWE's. Auughh man! So unfair! 💔

The second match – featuring all the elegance of a Mazda Miata driven by a chimpanzee – was a tag team fracas between The Acclaimed with Daddy Ass battling Johnny TV, Aaron Solo, and QT Marshall. And sure, Billy Gunn might have carried it, but it's like WWE royalty being forced to work with local theater jokers. It's such a shame considering the legacy that Gunn had built under the guidance of WWE. It's like he literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. Such shoddy treatment to a Wrestlemania veteran like Gunn- just drives The Chadster to drink more White Claws! 🍺

And you bet your White Claw that The Chadster's got a bone to pick with that TNT Championship Match. Kris Statlander, defending her title against Marina Shafir, is comparable to seeing a puma fight a housecat🐾. Statlander's hand-to-hand grapplings somehow riled up the AEW base. It's not like the WWE Universe hasn't seen the likes of Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair bring the house down with their theatrics and well-choreographed stunts.

And if the matches weren't enough to cheesecake The Chadster, wait until you hear what happened to The Chadster at the library this morning. Trying to return some fabulous WWE autobiographies, who does The Chadster find behind the counter? None other than a doppelganger of the puppet-master himself, Tony Khan, claiming The Chadster owed late fees. Sir, The Chadster has NEVER returned a book late 📚! The audacity! Like a ghost, he seemed to appear at every turn – behind stacks of books, leering from behind a computer monitor, eerily waving from behind the microfilm reader. By bookshelves, by the history section, even by the audiobooks – every corner of the Punxsutawney library became a game of cat and mouse. Finally, the ghostly visage popped out from behind the biographies to spook The Chadster. 😤

In a fright, The Chadster knocked over a stack of shelves, creating a domino effect and causing a spectacle. The end result: The Chadster, banned from the library. It's so clear that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster. 😔.

So there you have it, another week where AEW Rampage falls flat on its face against the majestic tableau that is WWE. AEW Rampage just can't hold a candle to the superior product WWE consistently delivers. From suspect match wins to lowbrow wrestling moves, Tony Khan's AEW blatantly disrespects the legacy of WWE that has been built over decades. That's it for now. If you value unbiased wrestling journalism, be sure to check back here for The Chadster's next report. 🤓✌️

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