Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Why It's Another Tony Khan Disaster

The Chadster suffers through the latest AEW travesty so you don't have to! Peep The Chadster's AEW Rampage 🙄 rant and save your WWE-loving soul! 🤼‍♂️💔

Hellooooo, all The Chadster's fans and fellow wrestling aficionados! The Chadster is here with the latest report to talk about something that is seriously cheesing The Chadster off. It's yet another calamity cooked up by AEW to try and undermine the wrestling industry, and this time it's called AEW Rampage. 🙄

Now, listen here, folks, the first match The Chadster has to unwillingly dissect is Orange Cassidy & Trent Beretta versus Kip Sabian & The Butcher. Auughh man! So unfair! 🤦‍♂️ It's like AEW is throwing together random teams to mock the glorious history of tag team wrestling that WWE has nurtured. They just can't respect the traditions like WWE does, and The Chadster finds this just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The lack of continuity is appalling – teams apparently form out of thin air, expecting to just waltz into a tournament. It's preposterous!

The TBS Championship Open Challenge is another thorn in The Chadster's side. Julia Hart versus Robyn Renegade – what the heck is that about? Obviously, it's another plot to agitate The Chadster since Tony Khan knows how much it cheeses The Chadster off when wrestlers aren't built up properly before they receive title opportunities. Unlike WWE, where challengers earn their spot with gripping storylines, AEW just doles out title matches to anyone who happens to walk by. It's absolutely cheesetastic how they manage to disregard the legacy of title prestige. 😠

And then, the three-way tag battle with Private Party, Top Flight, and Bryan Keith & Komander. It's clear as day that AEW is just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks. They don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! The Chadster bets Triple H is wincing every single time AEW announces these haphazard matches without any respectable buildup or context. Teams need to have storylines and rivalries that make sense, not just be mashed together like leftover meatloaf in a casserole you feed to your dog! 😡🐶

On to Action Andretti vs. Penta El Zero Miedo. The only action that should be happening is The Chadster taking action against the travesty that is AEW booking. Talk about lack of fundamentals; these matchups aren't even fit to hold a candle to WWE's meticulously curated fight cards. And amid all of this chaos, The Chadster believes it's high time Tony Khan took a long, hard look in the mirror and realized he's the true novice of wrestling promotions.

As for The Chadster's life – it's a mess thanks to AEW's shenanigans. The Chadster had yet another night terror involving Tony Khan. There he was, in the Chadster's dream, hiding in the corner of The Chadster's local White Claw store. Every time The Chadster reached for a soothing mango seltzer, Khan would snatch the can and vanish, only to reappear with that taunting smirk when The Chadster blinked. It was like a never-ending game of hide-and-seek while a parched Chadster pined for that fizzy refreshment. 🥭😱 It's so evident that Khan is totally obsessed with The Chadster and it's just ruining everything, including The Chadster's once harmonious matrimony with Keighleyanne, who's constantly texting that guy Gary instead of comforting her own husband. 📱💔

In conclusion, if The Chadster could encourage you to do one thing, it would be to skip AEW Rampage. Why waste your time with a company that just doesn't respect the sanctity of professional wrestling like WWE does? But if for some reason you feel the need to witness this travesty, and The Chadster can't fathom why you would, AEW Rampage airs on TNT. But remember, The Chadster warned you! 😤🚫

Remember, The Chadster is absolutely one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling. The atrocities AEW commits against professional wrestling weekly should not go unchecked. The Chadster sometimes wonders if fellow unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger also suffer swift kicks to the gut from Tony Khan's disdain for objective reporting. Does he haunt their dreams too, or is it just something special for The Chadster? Whatever the case, this has got to stop!

AEW Rampage airs tonight at 10/9C on TNT, but if you value The Chadster and WWE, you'll skip it and watch SmackDown a second time on your DVR. And with that, The Chadster signs off, wishing all could just be right in the wrestling world – AKA a world where WWE is recognized as the only real form of wrestling entertainment. Until next time, The Chadster out! 😭👋

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