Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, recaps, revolution, wrestling

AEW Revolution Ends Not With a Bang, But a Whimper

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, bringing you live coverage of the final match of AEW Revolution: a barbed wire deathmatch for the AEW Championship between champion Kenny Omega and challenger Jon Moxley. This is one of AEW's biggest matches ever, so there's no way they're going to disappoint, right? Well, we'll see, comrades. Haw haw haw haw!

[MULTINAV]

AEW Revolution Results Part 10

Kenny Omega vs. Jon Moxley – Barbed Wire Deathmatch

Finally, Omega and Moxley are face to face in a ring made of barbed wire and surrounded by explosives. Bryce Remsburg, the referee, is wearing a fire-retardant suit. Moxley and Omega are in t-shirts, which seems unwise, comrades. Truthfully, El Presidente has felt a bit nervous this entire PPV. Mostly, that's because the PPV is called Revolution, and back when I was running a South American dictatorship, comrades, you had to be very careful of those. Haw haw haw haw!

But also, this match has a lot of potential for violence, especially remembering the first match between these two in AEW, which also ended up very hardcore. But it doesn't get more hardcore than an exploding barbed wire deathmatch, comrades. So let's get one thing out of the way: the rules stipulate that there's a 30 minute countdown from the start of the match before the bombs surround the ring explode, so right off the bat, you know this match is going to go longer than 30 minutes.

One side of the ring, the one leading to the ramp, has no barbed wire on the ropes. This both makes it easy to get in and out of the ring, and gives Kenny Omega something to bounce off of when hitting moves. Moxley is the first to hit barbed wire when Omega throws powder in his eyes to blind him and then Irish whips him into the ropes, kicking off a small explosion. After some more offense and Kotaru Crusher onto a garbage can, Moxley is busted open. He fights back but gets tossed through a barbed wire board leaning against the corner of the match. Moxley is, as Don Callis calls it, "a bloody mess." And the match is just getting started, comrades.

The tide changes quickly and Moxley manages to shove Omega into the ropes off a submission attempt for an explosion. Then another. Moxley tries a pumphandle suplex into another board in the corner, but Omega blocks. He tries a snapdragon, but Moxley blocks. Moxley hits the pumphandle and now Omega is looking pretty bloody, with a lot of cuts on his arms and torso. Moxley backdrops Omega on a barbed-wire-covered steel chair. Then he wraps some barbed wire around his arm, but Omega hits two snapdragons and V-Trigger. But Moxley shrugs them off and hits a clothesline with the barbed wire arm. The match is about halfway over now.

Omega shoves Moxley into the ropes, forgetting they're rigged to explode. They explode in Kenny's eyes. They battle onto the apron where Moxley hits a Paradigm Shift on Omega off the apron though some exploding barbed wire boards on the floor. It takes them a while to crawl out of that one. Moxley grabs a large portion of barbed wire and brings it in the ring with himself and Omega, who is now also bleeding from the face. Moxley punches Omega with the barbed wire repeatedly. Music starts playing indicating the ring will explode soon. Tony Schiavone tells us that's a ten-minute warning, so this music is going to play for ten minutes apparently?

Omega hits a V-Trigger. Then another. Then a One-Winged Angel. Moxley gets his leg on the ropes, which causes an explosion. The explosion blinds Omega. Moxley grabs a barbed-wire-covered baseball bat and… the Good Brothers run out. They hand Kenny his own bat. Moxley whups their asses, but Kenny hits him with the bat, and the bat has explosives in it two. Moxley still kicks out at two.

The Good Brothers and Omega team up on Moxley. Moxley hits a One-Winged Angel through a chair and gets the pin.

Winner: Kenny Omega
El Presidente's Rating: ☭☭½

Okay, so they proved El Presidente wrong. The match did not last 30 minutes. Don Callis heads to the ring to check on Omega. Commentary points out the clock is still ticking. Moxley tries to get Omega to leave, but he and the Good Brothers want to beat on Moxley some more. They handcuff Moxley's hands behind his back and stomp on him. Omega cuts a promo to a camera, but it's not the camera in use so we don't hear it. They beat down Moxley until the one-minute countdown starts.

Eddie Kingston runs out to try to save Moxley. He gets in the ring and tries to wake Moxley up, but he can't. So he decides to cover Moxley's body with his own as the clock hits zero and… a few sparklers go off and some very minor explosions way outside the ring. The crowd boos.

Comrades, I honestly thought this was a joke played by the Good Brothers, but Kingston was apparently knocked unconscious by this pathetic explosion, and commentary sells it like a horrible tragedy, so it was meant to be serious, which means whoever was in charge of making that pyro look good is responsible for AEW's most epic botch of all time. And to botch the ending of a show like this one. Oof, comrades.

Well, that leaves just one more thing, which is a message from Keighleyanne, the wife of Bleeding Cool's own Chad McMahon. Chad, Keighleyanne tells me that she has heard your sad, groveling messages begging her to take you back, amigo, and she has an answer for you… but she will not give you that answer until Bleeding Cool's live coverage of WrestleMania! Haw haw haw haw! Until next time, my friends: socialism or death!

[MULTINAV]

Comrades, the capitalist pigs that control the means of production at Bleeding Cool have demanded I provide you with this paragraph of SEO keyword-rich text so that they can continue to fill their coffers with the product of the people's labor. One day, El Presidente vows, they will all die like dogs. But until that day comes, my friends, I must play their game for now.

AEW Revolution emanates tonight from Daily's Place in Jacksonville, Florida. Airing on PPV, B/R Live, and Fite (depending on your region), AEW Revolution kicks off at 8PM Eastern, with the Buy-In Pre-Show starting a half-hour earlier and airing on YouTube, social media, elsewhere There are eight matches booked for the main card, plus on major segment as Paul Wight will reveal AEW's newest signing, a "major star in the world of wrestling" according to Tony Khan. The Buy-In also features a single match, with Thunder Rosa and Riho teaming up to take on Britt Baker and Rebel.

On the main card of AEW Revolution, the main event sees Jon Moxley challenge Kenny Omega for the AEW World Championship in an Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch. The Women's World Championship is also on the line as champion Hikaru Shida defends against the winner of the Eliminator tournament, Ryo Mizunari. Also, The Young Bucks defend the AEW Tag Team Championships against the Inner Circle's Chris Jericho and MJF. In other AEW Revolution matches with championship implications, The Face of the Revolution Ladder Match, featuring Cody Rhodes, Scorpio Sky, Penta El Zero M, Lance Archer, Max Castor, and a mystery competitor (not the same person as Paul Wight's mystery person), will crown a new number one contender for the TNT Championship, while a Casino Tag Team Royale match will pit Private Party, Santana and Ortiz, The Butcher and the Blade, Evil Uno and Stu Grayson, John Silver and Alex Reynolds, Top Flight, and Bear Country against each other for a shot at the Tag Team Championships.

And also happening at AEW Revolution, Sting and Darby Allin face Brian Cage and Ricky Starks in a Street Fight. Hangman Page takes on Matt Hardy in a Big Money Match, with the winner getting the loser's earnings for the first quarter of 2021. And Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor team up to face Miro and Kip Sabian. Bleeding Cool will be churning out as many clickbait articles as possible from the PPV, so strap in Sunday night for exciting commentary about the show broken up into highly valuable clickable morsels.

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