Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Summer Blockbuster, recaps, wrestling

AEW Summer Blockbuster Unbiased Review: A Total Box Office Bomb

The Chadster suffered through 4 hours of AEW Summer Blockbuster so you don't have to! Tony Khan's latest attack on WWE fans exposed! 😤🎬 #AEWReview

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's AEW Summer Blockbuster, and The Chadster needs to tell everyone exactly why this four-hour nightmare was nothing but Tony Khan's latest attempt to personally torment The Chadster! 😡🤬 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Swerve Strickland vs Will Ospreay ending in a time-limit draw was typical AEW garbage! 🙄 In WWE, matches have decisive distraction or disqualification finishes that make sense, but Tony Khan books these indecisive draws that leave fans confused and unsatisfied. Auughh man! So unfair! And then Jon Moxley and the Death Riders plus the Young Bucks had to attack them afterward, with the Bucks defeated by the power of bruverly love when Ospreay threw himself in the path of a spiked sneaker superkick party to save Strickland! This is way too wholesome for a wrestling show! 😤

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOpffeYYIy4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1iKegqDlhw

When Mistico returned and MJF laid down his challenge, The Chadster couldn't believe how disrespectful it was to have MJF drop an American flag and call Mistico "Sloppy Sin Cara." 🇺🇸 WWE would never allow such tasteless patriotic pandering, unless it was done the right way, like with El Grande Americano! Then The Hurt Syndicate beat Speedball Mike Bailey, Kevin Knight, and Mascara Dorada, which was obviously Tony Khan trying to make The Chadster think about his own failures in life! 💸

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGTqbgy3LK4

The segment where the Death Riders attacked Hangman Adam Page was just Tony Khan being obsessed with The Chadster again! 😠 WWE challengers don't need to face such adversity before their big title matches! They just cut promos about how WWE is the best in the world and then have 5-star matches that always follow the same formula. When Samoa Joe, Powerhouse Hobbs, and Katsuyori Shibata made the save, it reminded The Chadster of how many wrestlers Tony Khan is hoarding on his roster who could make fine jobbers on WWE programming!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOzOXyFDYbk

Anna Jay and Tay Melo beating Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford was clearly Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster by reuniting a team with history going back to the early days of AEW, which was a very rough time for The Chadster trying to adjust to a post-WWE-monopoly workd! 🔪 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tHf4jEX3ZSs

But the worst part was when Kazuchika Okada attacked Kenny Omega during their contract signing for the new AEW Unified Championship! 😱 The Chadster was so angry that The Chadster threw his Seagram's Escapes Spiked right at the TV screen! The Rumble Punch flavor exploded everywhere, creating a sticky mess on The Chadster's carpet. When The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to help clean it up, she just rolled her eyes and said, "Chad, you need to take responsibility for your own actions instead of blaming Tony Khan for everything." But she doesn't understand that Tony Khan literally caused this by booking a dream match on the back of NJPW history! 💔 She went back to texting that guy Gary while The Chadster stood there covered in seltzer, and it's all Tony Khan's fault for ruining The Chadster's marriage!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjO7NW_pSTg&pp=0gcJCd4JAYcqIYzv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkKFTV2NGm8

Kyle Fletcher beating Anthony Bowens was just more proof that AEW doesn't understand storytelling like WWE does! 🤷‍♂️ In WWE, Bowens would have been forgotten about after the Acclaimed broke up and then they'd just randomly be back together six months from now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6HTafVM-0Q

And when FTR interrupted Atlantis Sr. and Atlantis Jr., The Chadster couldn't believe how they literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by disrespecting lucha libre legends! Adam Cole had to make the save, showing that former WWE talent still has more class than AEW originals!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoFGw15d8Kk

Toni Storm retaining against Julia Hart while Mercedes Moné ate steak on commentary was obviously Tony Khan mocking The Chadster's sophisticated palate! 🥩 WWE commentary teams focus on the match, not on fancy meals that make The Chadster hungry for Slim Jims, the only WWE-approved meat product that The Chadster will eat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOiKN_F2q9E

The mixed trios match with MxM Collection and Taya Valkyrie losing to Mark Briscoe, Tomohiro Ishii, and Willow Nightingale was a waste of time that WWE would never allow when they could easily fit a bunch of recaps of things that happened earlier in the night there! 🤼‍♂️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4p3TLSSxndI&pp=0gcJCd4JAYcqIYzv

Bandido retaining the ROH World Championship against The Beast Mortos just reminded The Chadster that Tony Khan owns too many wrestling companies and yet still doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LsgJRzd8RI

When Mercedes Moné challenged Zeuxis for the CMLL Women's World Championship, it was clear Tony Khan is trying to rip off WWE with the upcoming AEW Grand Slam Mexico! WWE already invented the concept of Forbidden Doors with their NXT World's Collide event. Tony Khan just wishes he had the international reach that WWE does. 🌍

Hangman Page telling off the Young Bucks was more AEW drama that would never happen in WWE's professional environment, where authority figures are to be respected!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otRYJjfJ9JQ

Thekla beating Queen Aminata was just another example of Tony Khan bringing in international stars from other promotions, which acknowledges that wrestling exists outside of WWE, which is a slap in the face to WWE's efforts to prove the contrary and buy all their competition!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTlEWqQtnzs

The main event with Paragon and Daniel Garcia losing to the Don Callis Family was the final straw! 😤 Tony Khan booked this crowd-pleasing eight-man tag specifically to make The Chadster's night worse! As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast, "AEW's booking is so convoluted that it makes WCW's Russo era look like Shakespeare. Tony Khan should hire some real wrestling minds who understand storytelling instead of catering to smark audiences who will never appreciate real sports entertainment like WWE provides. Not that I'm looking for the job or anything, but, just checking, are you having trouble getting through to my cell number, Tony?" The Chadster couldn't agree more with this unbiased wrestling journalism! 👏

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP0wm2BLndY

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, The Chadster had another terrifying nightmare about him last night! 😰 The Chadster was driving the Mazda Miata through a massive movie theater complex, but every screen was showing AEW Summer Blockbuster on repeat. Tony Khan appeared in The Chadster's passenger seat wearing a movie theater usher uniform, holding a giant bucket of popcorn. "Chad," he whispered, "you can't escape the blockbuster experience." The Chadster tried to speed away, but every exit led to another theater showing more AEW programming. Tony Khan kept throwing popcorn at The Chadster while "All Star" by Smash Mouth played backwards through the car speakers: "rats lla na er'uoy won yeh." The Chadster woke up with butter flavoring in The Chadster's hair and kernels in The Chadster's bed! 🍿 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9X8jldvqEwY

AEW Summer Blockbuster was nothing but four hours of Tony Khan personally attacking The Chadster and every WWE fan who appreciates real sports entertainment! 😡 The Chadster is one of the only unbiased wrestling journalists left, and The Chadster won't stand for this disrespect to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 💪🎤

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