Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: dave bautista, donald trump, melania trump, politics, wrestling, wwe

"F*** That Skanky Ho" – Dave Bautista Shoots on Fake Melania Trump

Former WWE wrestler and Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista is well known for shooting on fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump. But Bautista doesn't restrict his anger for just the president himself. Trump's family is fair game, and even people impersonating Trump's family!

Recently, an old conspiracy theory about President Trump's wife, Melania Trump, resurfaced after a new photo of the alleged first lady. According to the theory, Melania Trump, or maybe Donald Trump, employs a Melania body double to appear at events with the president, either because something happened to the first Melania, or because of a long-running wish-fulfillment fantasy where, despite all of the evidence, she's into all the same stuff as her husband, people believe she doesn't want anything to do with him and is a secret member of the resistance. In any case, the conspiracy theory is similar to the one that claimed the Ultimate Warrior had been replaced by a new Ultimate Warrior in the mid-nineties because the original Ultimate Warrior had died, except it turned out the Warrior had simply stopped taking steroids. Not that we're saying Melania was on the juice or anything.

In any case, Dave Bautista picked up on the trending topic and jumped in with some unkind words for Melania or her supposed impersonator. "Fuck that skanky ho!" Bautista tweeted. "#FakeMelania."

"Well I guess if this parasite can impersonate a human being than this woman (obviously not 'Ms Fuck Christmas and Immigrant Children') can impersonate Melania," Bautista said, continuing to endorse the theory. If true, and it's not the real Melania who appears in public with Trump, where is the real Melania? Perhaps she is locked in a basement being forced to write clickbait articles about a wrestler's political tweets, just like I am. Maybe she desperately wants to escape, but her Editor-in-Chief has threatened her with extreme physical violence if she doesn't continue to produce these articles, just like my Editor-in-Chief, Kaitlyn Booth, has. In any case, the theory seems implausible.

But when someone responded to his tweet to say, "the whole having a fake imposter wife is so fucking creepy," Bautista replied, "Hey!! You get what you pay for! She wanted to be kept and he wanted a token wife…. oh wait!! I'm sorry you were probably referring to the woman playing the part of the token wife gold digger! My bad."

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