Posted in: Impact Wrestling, Sports, TV | Tagged: impact, recaps, The Shovel, wrestling

Final Resolution Results: "Manik" Answers the Defeat Rohit Challenge

Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, once again reporting on Impact Wrestling's Final Resolution PPV event. One day, I will have to have some of my old buddies in the secret police kidnap this Chad McMahon and reeducate him in the art of loosening up. Is it just me, or does that guy need to get laid? Haw haw haw!

As part of the devil's bargain I made to bring my wrestling news coverage and the ideals of socialism to American readers of Bleeding Cool, I was forced to agree to compromise certain principles in the name of feeding the never-sated beast of capitalism with carefully-optimized keyword-rich text, so here is some information you might like to know about Final Resolution.

Final Resolution emanates from Skyway Studios in Nashville, Tennessee and airs exclusively on Impact Plus. On the card tonight: The Sea Stars face Havok and Neveah. Hernandez takes on Fallah Bahh with special officials Kiera Hogan and Tasha Steelz at ringside. Rohit Raju defends the X-Division Championship in the final Defeat Rohit challenge of 2020. Eric Young (with Joe Doering) faces Rhino. Larry Dreamer fights Tommy Dreamer in an "Old School Rules" match for Larry's freedom. Tenille Dashwood and Kaleb with a K team up to take on Eddie Edwards and Alisha Edwards. Deonna Purrazzo (with Kimber Lee) defends the Knockouts Championship against Rosemary (with Taya Valkyrie). Karl Anderson faces Ethan Page (with Josh Alexander), and if Page wins, The North gets a tag team championship shot. And finally, Rich Swann defends the Impact World Championship against Chris Bey.

Now that that humiliation is done with let El Presidente tell you all about this next match.

Impact Wrestling Final Resolution Recap Part 6

Scott D'Amore berates a security guard about letting Gia Miller through to Kenny Omega's bus. Karl Anderson shows up, and he is on the list and allowed to go see Kenny. After a video package, Rohit Raju makes his entrance. He cuts the most glorious promo about being the greatest Indian wrestler Impact has ever seen, and one of the greatest wrestlers Impact has ever seen. He should have led with that one. Raju says he has proven everyone wrong and defeated all of the challengers, solidifying him as the greatest X-Division Champion of this lifetime. He asks: who can defeat Rohit?

Manik comes out. He appears behind Raju as Raju looks to the stage. Manik is very clearly TJP wearing a mask. He attacks Rohit Raju, and the match begins. You know, back when I was running a dictatorship before I gave it up to follow my dreams as a wrestling reporter, I learned very quickly never to make laws that have loopholes that can be used by simply wearing a mask. I can't tell you how many times I heard some fool plead, "but Your Excellency, I am not your hated political opponent who you sent into exile," when it very clearly was them but wearing a mask. It's a classic trick. It's best to nip that kind of thing in the bud with a nice public execution is what El Presidente has to say about it. Haw haw haw!

After falling prey to the initial shock of Manik's assault, Rohit Raju rallies to regain control of this match. The match is very back-and-forth. It's anyone's ballgame, as my old friend Saddam Hussein used to say. It was never like that for El Presidente. You should have seen the margins I won my elections by—hashtag #BelovedLeader.

In what is probably the best match of Rohit Raju's X-Division Championship run, he sadly loses when, after a series of teased near ref bumps, Manik rolls up Rohit for the three-count.

"Manik" defeats Rohit Raju via pinfall to win the X-Division Championship.

Comrades, that was an excellent match! It was not as good as the redistribution of wealth from the rich to the poor, but it was definitely up there.

The Clicks Continue

Thank you, my friends, for reading Bleeding Cool's live coverage of Impact Wrestling: Final Resolution. Jude Terror will cover the next match, but I will be with you once more for the main event! Until then: socialism or death!

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