Posted in: Impact Wrestling, Sports, TV | Tagged: impact, recaps, The Shovel, wrestling

Impact Recap – Johnny Swinger Finds a Good Use for His Fanny Pack

On Impact Wrestling this week, TJP wants one more shot at Rohit Raju, Swoggle plugs his book, and Johnny Swinger finally gets a win! I'm Jude Terror. This is The Shovel: Impact Edition, and though the fate of the free world is being decided right now as I write this, I'm gonna watch wrestling instead because that's how dedicated I am to this job, people! You're welcome!

Impact Wrestling Recap for November 3rd, 2020 Part 2

Rohit Raju is in the ring. He has a mic. "God created all men equal, and then he made me the sequel." He talks about defeating five men at Bound for Glory and calls himself "the mocha-skinned manimal." He says he's doing another Defeat Rohit challenge and asks for a new challenger.

TJP comes out. He must have finished casting his vote for Trump. TJP has a mic. He praises Rohit for being the man of opportunity. He's here to answer the challenge. But Rohit says he lost at Bound for Glory, so his opportunity is done. Rohit has a consolation prize: the opportunity for TJP to get the hell out of his ring.

TJP says Rohit has never pinned him. Rohit accuses him of trying to steal his spot. He talks about how hard he worked to earn the championship. TJP says his grind was harder and talks about his career in Mexico and Japan and all his championships, and he did all that while he was homeless. TJP is fired up.

Rohit says that's all great, but TJP is a has-been. It's all in the past. Rohit is X-Division Champion now. He calls TJP pathetic and a coronavirus denier (well, the last part is true). TJP drops the mic and acts like he's gonna leave. He steps halfway out of the ring and then changes his mind. He gets back in Rohit's face and throws hot tea in it.

They brawl, though I don't think this is an official match. TJP tosses Rohit out of the ring, and his music plays, so I guess he wins the brawl. Gia Miller talks to Chris Sabin, asking for an update on Alex Shelley's condition. Sabin says Shelley will be fine, but the problem is people using divide-and-conquer tactics against the Motor City Machine Guns, trying to isolate Sabin. Sabin wants a singles match with one of the guys from XXXL after they attacked Shelley last week. He doesn't care which one, or he is racist against fat people and can't tell them apart. Screw you, Chris Sabin! We're people too! Impact takes a commercial break.

After the break, Rohit complains to Scott D'Amore about TJP throwing tea on him. TJP walks up and starts complaining too. D'Amore says TJP shouldn't throw tea, and Rohit shouldn't run his mouth. Rohit says TJP needs to leave him alone. TJP wants one more shot. D'Amore says TJP can have one shot, a fair shot, and he gets no more shots if he doesn't win. Ethan Page comes out with Josh Alexander. The Good Brothers come out.

Ethan Page vs. Doc Gallows

Gallows gets the upper hand early as Page needs to take several breathers outside the ring for pep talks from Alexander. On his third try, Page manages to get control over Gallows and beats him up for a while. This match is mostly stalling and shenanigans with the guys at ringside, plus plugs for Talkin' Shop-a-Mania 2 from commentary. Page works an exciting headlock on Gallows, who fights back with punches. Alexander tries to interfere. Karl Anderson attacks. Alexander throws him into the ring post. Gallows pins Page while this is happening.

Winner: Doc Gallows

The North beat down Gallows for a moment, but Anderson makes the save, and they chase The North from the ring. Just one match later, and Trump and Biden are about neck-and-neck in Texas. Impact takes a commercial break.

Gia Miller interviews Swoggle about returning to Impact. He says that he's been pushed to the isle of misfit toys his whole life, and Impact is that isle. He plugs his book, Life is Short, and So Am I. Brian Myers walks up and calls him "a sideshow attraction freak." Swoggle says Myers' attitude problem lately isn't cool. Myers says he's gonna rename his book: "My Run in Impact Wrestling Was Short, and So Am I." He shoves him. Rude!

One of the Deaners is fighting Johnny Swinger in a match. The other Deaner is at ringside too.

Johnny Swinger vs. a Deaner

You know my rule on the Deaners. They're just too irritating. I wouldn't even tell you who won this match, except it was Swinger, and I love Swinger.

Winner: Johnny Swinger

Good to see Swinger get a victory and always great to see a Deaner lose. Moose is seen walking backstage, and Impact takes a commercial break. And we'll take a break to go move this conversation to the third and final part of The Shovel: Impact Wrestling Edition.

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