MTV clearly has a sponsorship deal with Burger King for Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, but deep down, Angelina is a McDonald's girl. We all knew what she was talking about when she said she gave up chicken nuggets for the "two cheeseburger meal," and folks, it wasn't a Whopper.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, back once again to share my glorious thoughts on the greatest show on television, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. This week's episode focused once again on Angelina and Chris's failing marriage, but first things first. Last episode ended with Snooki pulling up to The Situation's five-year Soberversary party, and this week's episode picked up with that emotional reunion as Mike invited everyone inside. Tensions between Snooki and Angelina remained unresolved, but at least they were able to coexist for Mike's sake. It's a lot like when I went to Putin's birthday party last year and Donald Trump was there, and I had to be like, "oh I don't mind that you said I rigged the voting machines to steal the election, Don," but secretly I was fuming, comrades.
Ron and Saffire as well as Pauly and Nicki were mostly absent this episode, stuck on the West Coast as the gang gathered in the East. Mike did say at one point that he foresees Ron and Saffire getting engaged next, though those plans are likely out the window after Ron's most recent domestic violence arrest. The East Coast crew also gathered to watch 24 make his AEW television debut! Wow, comrades! My worlds are colliding! I think that Mike said it best when he noted that 24 is "very agile for such a large man." We'll see more wrestling later in the season, as teasers show this scene sparked an interest in the guidos. Could they be headed to an AEW ring soon for a crossover? God, I hope so.
But as noted, Angelina's marriage was the focus of this week's episode, as Mike received a mysterious text from the friend of a hairdresser of a friend of a hairdresser's friend claiming to have Ring Doorbell security footage of Angelina with another man. According to the woman, Angelina had been cozying up to a "side boo" in her apartment complex in Old Bridge, New Jersey, and in addition to her usual Angelina-like behavior, the dirty little hamster was allegedly chucking chicken nugget garbage all over the complex. When Jenny and Deena tried to bring up the situation to Angelina, hoping to help her avoid seeing the footage end up on TMZ, Angelina lashed out, declaring the whole thing an obvious lie since Angelina claims she gave up chicken nuggets ages ago and always orders the two cheeseburger meal now.
But as the episode continued, and the East Coast couples gathered for another get-together, J-Woww got up the nerve to phone the woman and request the videos. And she got them, clearly showing Angelina visiting the apartment, though as of yet, no footage of the Staten Island Dump making out with a boy toy. That's good news because the episode ended on yet another cliffhanger as Chris called Angelina to set up plans for them to get together and possibly reconcile. But can Angelina trust Chris? Or are his words no more trustworthy than the lies the American CIA spreads on the streets in an attempt to usurp El Presidente's power? So much drama, amigos! I can hardly take it!
Once again, Jersey Shore: Family Vacation proved the "Jersey Shore" franchise is still going strong with another strong post-pandemic episode. Rather than stretch out three or four conversations to an entire half-season, the episodes in the second half of Season 4 have been meaty so far. Hopefully, that will continue, especially as travel restrictions end and Pauly and Ronny can join the party. It just doesn't feel the same without the whole crew together, comrades. Until next time: socialism or death!
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