Star Trek: Ted Cruz Fights Certifying United Earth Pres. Stacey Abrams
So there's this scene in Adult Swim's Rick and Morty S02E04 "Total Rickall" that you might remember. It's the "flashback scene" with Cousin Nicky when the entire family is held captive aboard an enemy WWII submarine. Cousin Nicky goes to call the commanding bad guy a name before the commanding bad guy knocks him upside the head to remind him that if he doesn't like being on the bad side of WWII then there's nothing Cousin Nicky could think to call him that would be worse ("Yeah. Think before you talk s**t"). That's how I feel about Texas Senator (and owner of many frequent flyers miles, we're assuming) Ted Cruz. I was going to start this off with a run of jokes about how he looks like every dad in every show who won't accept his son or daughter coming out. Or how I think he's actually three trolls standing on each other's shoulders under a trend coat. Or how the Zodiac Killer issued a "cease & desist" order over comparisons they felt are hurting their brand. But what's the worst thing that could ever be leveled at someone who already is Ted Cruz? We were even going to ask how he was able to find time between fleeing Texas whenever the state's power grid goes offline after two mosquitoes hit a bug zapper at the same time and offering pre-emptive apologies to Donald Trump for any future instances where he shows a glimmer of free will to comment on Star Trek: Discovery. In particular, the fourth season finale that showed future Governor of Georgia Stacey Abrams as the President of United Earth in the 32nd century- and she's bringing the United Earth back into the Federation.
We'll give you five seconds to guess how Cruz felt about all of that, taking away four of them because it's so damn obvious. In a move that at this point has just become tedious and boring but still fun to bring up because it gives us a chance to continuously mock him, Cruz took to Twitter to discuss his plans for getting millions of kids in Texas access to health care and… I'm kidding! Oh no, Cruz went on social media to apparently make the point (from what we can tell) that 11 centuries from now is still apparently too soon to have a Black woman as president of a country or a planet. Oh, and that "The Guy Who Looks Like An Undercover Cop Trying to Look Like a Geek" has absolutely no clue about what "Star Trek" and Gene Roddenberry's vision are all about.
In the following featurette, Abrams reveals why playing the role was so important. In addition, Sonequa Martin-Green (Michael Burnham), Director/Executive Producer Olatunde Osunsanmi & Executive Producer Michelle Paradise offer their reactions to having Abrams aboard for that special guest appearance: