Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: montez ford, Raw, street profits, wwe
Who Poisoned Montez Ford Last Night? We Have 5 Suspects
Last night WWE Monday Night Raw pulled out all the stops to pop a rating and end their recent creative slump. We saw Shane McMahon launch an underground fight club in the back room of the Performance Center. We saw "protestors" set fire to WWE props and mess with the production crew. And in a tasteless angle that stood out even amongst all of the others, Montez Ford collapsed prior to his match with Andrade, was somehow cleared to wrestle anyway, and then collapsed again during the match. Afterward, it was revealed that Ford was poisoned. But who did it? We've put together a list of five suspects.
Zelina Vega
As the manager of the tag team of Andrade and Angel Garza, Zelina Vega must be getting pretty desperate. They're heels in WWE, so they're naturally predisposed to lose all the time, to begin with, but on top of that, Garza's sex addiction and Andrade's temper make it difficult to keep them focused. With the team getting a shot at the Street Profits at SummerSlam, Zelina has one shot at making this work before her team implodes, and who could blame her for taking it?
Angelo Dawkins
Maybe the attack didn't come from an outside source. Maybe it was Montez Ford's own tag team partner who slipped him a mickey last night. Why would he do it? Sure, the Street Profits seem like they get along great, but both of them ultimately want the same thing: The Smoke. They talk about it all the time. We want The Smoke this; we want The Smoke that. That kind of unhealthy obsession can only lead to jealousy. Maybe Dawkins thinks Ford has more of The Smoke than he does. Maybe Dawkins wants all of The Smoke for himself.
Antifa
Last night, Antifa committed shocking acts of destruction on WWE Raw, such as throwing Molotov cocktails at a stack of crates made up to look like a generator in the parking lot of the performance center, or pushing over a box full of doodads in the hallway, or turning the lights on and off. Would it be that much of a stretch for them to graduate to poisoning Montez Ford's solo cup?
Montez Ford
Wouldn't the most shocking angle of all be if it turns out that Montez Ford is the one who poisoned himself? Think about it: who's the last person you'd expect to have poisoned Montez Ford? That's right: Montez Ford. And he has the perfect alibi since he was clearly poisoned.
No One
Maybe Montez Ford wasn't really poisoned. Maybe he simply got to take a peek at those Raw Underground skits before they aired, and he simply became dizzy from all of Kevin Dunn's obnoxious camera cuts. We nearly collapsed while going for a snack during last night's broadcast after watching those segments, and we didn't have to perform even one plancha or suicide dive in the process.