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Comrades, your El Presidente previews tonight's WWE Raw! Roman Reigns responds to Jacob Fatu, plus tag titles on the line and an Oba Femi Open Challenge!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw
WWE Raw: Bloodline Betrayal and Tag Team Gold on the Menu
Comrades, your El Presidente previews tonight's WWE Raw! Roman Reigns responds to Jacob Fatu, plus tag titles on the line and an Oba Femi Open Challenge!
Article Summary
- Comrades, WWE Raw brings Bloodline drama as Roman Reigns answers Jacob Fatu's betrayal like a champion guarding the state.
- Paige and Brie Bella defend the WWE Women's Tag Team Titles as rivals chase gold and the means of production.
- Oba Femi's WWE Raw open challenge rolls on, with The Ruler ready to conscript another poor comrade into battle.
- El Grande Americano stirs WWE Raw intrigue in a wild trios tornado tag before a high-stakes Mask vs. Mask clash.
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your beloved El Presidente, reporting to you live from the gilded observation deck of my newly-commissioned dirigible, which is currently hovering somewhere over the Caribbean while my loyal capybara Esteban enjoys a plate of imported Beluga caviar and a small glass of Cristal. Tonight, the workers of the squared circle take to WWE Raw on Netflix, and your dictator-in-residence has been studying the dispatches from the WWE propaganda ministry like I once studied the manuals for evading drone strikes! Let us dive into what awaits us on tonight's edition of WWE Raw, comrades!
Roman Reigns Responds to Jacob Fatu's Bloodline Beatdown
After Jacob Fatu refused to acknowledge The OTC and brutally laid out The Bloodline last week, how will World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns respond? Find out tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on Raw on Netflix.
Ah, family betrayal! This is a subject I know intimately, comrades. I remember a humid evening in 1987 when my second cousin Ramón attempted to overthrow my regime while I was vacationing in the Black Sea with Nicolae Ceaușescu and, for reasons I still cannot explain, the actor who played the dad on Full House. Jacob Fatu refusing to acknowledge Roman Reigns is much the same — a kinsman forgetting who signs the checks! Reigns will surely respond with the fury of a tinpot autocrat who has just discovered his Minister of Finance is leaking documents to Langley. I cannot wait!
WWE Women's Tag Team Title Match: Paige & Brie Bella vs. Roxanne Perez & Raquel Rodriguez
After The Judgment Day viciously beat down Paige and Brie Bella last week, the WWE Women's Tag Team Champions will have retribution on their mind when they put their title on the line against Roxanne Perez and Raquel Rodriguez. Who will leave Raw with the gold? Will Women's World Champion Liv Morgan play a part in the outcome? Find out tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on Raw on Netflix.
Comrades, Paige and Brie Bella reuniting to seize the means of tag team production warms my socialist heart! The Judgment Day, much like the CIA operatives who once tried to poison my flan at a state dinner in 1993, prefer to attack from the shadows. But tonight on WWE Raw, Roxanne Perez and Raquel Rodriguez come for the gold, and Liv Morgan lurks like a clandestine operative awaiting orders. I once watched Muammar Gaddafi try to broker a tag team partnership between two of his sons, and let me tell you, comrades, it did NOT end with championship gold — it ended with a ruined buffet table.
The Oba Femi Open Challenge Continues
After learning that no one would answer the Oba Femi Open Challenge last week, The Ruler "volunteered" Los Garza to accept the opportunity, dragging both Superstars to the ring and unleashing a painful beatdown. Who will dare accept tonight's Oba Femi Open Challenge? Find out at 8 ET/5 PT on Raw on Netflix.
A man called "The Ruler" who forcibly volunteers his subjects into contests they did not sign up for? Comrades, I feel SEEN. Oba Femi is doing what every great strongman does — drafting reluctant participants into glorious combat for the entertainment of the masses! I once "volunteered" Manuel Noriega into a karaoke duet at a state function. He sang "Wind Beneath My Wings." It was beautiful. It was also, technically, against his will. Who will Oba Femi conscript tonight on WWE Raw? I cannot wait to find out!
El Grande Americano Trios Tornado Tag Team Match
With the highly anticipated Mask vs. Mask Match looming at AAA Noche de Los Grandes on Saturday, May 30, "Original" El Grande Americano and Los Americanos Hermanos are set to battle El Grande Americano and Los Americanos in a Trios Tornado Tag Team Match. Don't miss all the action, tonight at 8 ET/5 PT on Raw on Netflix.
Comrades, a masked luchador calling himself "El Grande Americano" is, on its face, the most CIA-coded gimmick I have ever encountered. I am convinced one of these El Grande Americanos is being operated remotely from a basement in Langley, Virginia! The other is probably Chad Gable, who I respect for his commitment to multilingual class warfare. A Mask vs. Mask Match at AAA Noche de Los Grandes is the highest stakes a luchador can face — I once played strip poker with Fidel Castro and a luchador whose name I am sworn to never reveal, and let me tell you, comrades, losing the mask is a fate worse than losing the cigar.
Big thanks to WWE's website for providing the preview materials — you can read the official version right here, comrades!
So tune in tonight to WWE Raw on Netflix at 8 ET/5 PT, comrades! I will be enjoying the festivities from my dirigible's screening room, reclined upon a chaise lounge upholstered in the finest velvet confiscated from a disloyal oligarch, with Esteban at my side, a chilled goblet of rum in my hand, and three terrified interns standing by to refill my snack bowl at a moment's notice. ¡Viva la lucha! ¡Viva Raw! ¡Viva la revolución!
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