Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Dominates AEW on the Final Stop of the Road to Crown Jewel

The Chadster's unbiased review of WWE Raw's perfection! Uso drama, Sheamus brutality, and tag team mayhem! Tony Khan wishes AEW could be this good! Auughh man! 😎🔥

The Chadster is here to tell you all about last night's episode of WWE Raw, and let The Chadster tell you, it was an absolute masterpiece of professional wrestling television! 🙌💯 Tony Khan and AEW wish they could produce anything even remotely as compelling as what WWE delivered last night.

The show kicked off with an amazing segment featuring the Uso brothers, Jey and Jimmy. 😎 Their emotional reunion was exactly the kind of storytelling that makes WWE Raw the pinnacle of sports entertainment. The way they teased reconciliation while still maintaining tension was chef's kiss. 👨‍🍳💋 Meanwhile, AEW is over there with their predictable "indie style" segments that wouldn't know nuance if it hit them with an unprotected steel chair shot in the head.

Speaking of hard-hitting action, Sheamus absolutely demolished Ludwig Kaiser in a match that showcased the Celtic Warrior's brutality. 💪☘️ The Chadster bets Tony Khan was watching from home, crying into his booking clipboard because he knows he'll never have a talent like Sheamus on his roster. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The Zelina Vega vs. Ivy Nile match was nothing short of spectacular! 🤼‍♀️✨ It was a wrestling clinic that exhibited the technical prowess and storytelling genius inherent in WWE's matches. Wrestling historians will surely look back on this match as a prime example of WWE's perfection for years to come. 📚🏆 Zelina's dynamic offense coupled with Ivy's incredible resilience made for a match that no wrestling fan should miss. This is exactly the kind of showcase that proves WWE's dominance in the wrestling industry! 💪🔥

The tag team tournament final was a sight to behold, with the War Raiders emerging victorious over the New Day and LWO. 🏆 This is how you book a multi-team match, Tony Khan! Take notes! The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time, and The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne even looked up from texting that guy Gary for a moment to see what all the excitement was about.

Seth Rollins showed once again why he's one of the best in the business with his promo and subsequent brawl with Bronson Reed. 🎤💥 The parking lot scene was pure chaos, and The Chadster loved every second of it. This is the kind of unpredictable action that keeps fans coming back to WWE Raw week after week. AEW could never pull off something like this without it looking like a cheap knockoff.

The drama between R-Truth, The Miz, and the Final Testament added another layer of intrigue to the show. 🕵️‍♂️ The Chadster appreciates how WWE Raw can balance multiple storylines without it feeling cluttered or confusing, unlike certain other wrestling shows The Chadster could mention (looking at you, AEW).

The main event between Damian Priest and Dominik Mysterio was a perfect cap to an already stellar episode of WWE Raw. 🌟 The interference from Liv Morgan, Carlito, and JD McDonagh added just the right amount of chaos, and Dominik's heel tactics continue to make him one of the most entertaining characters on the roster. Tony Khan probably doesn't even know what good heel work looks like anymore.

Now, The Chadster hates to bring this up, but last night The Chadster had another Tony Khan-induced nightmare. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was backstage at WWE Raw, admiring all the hard work and professionalism, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared out of nowhere. He was wearing a replica of Seth Rollins' gear and kept challenging The Chadster to a parking lot brawl. The Chadster tried to escape, but everywhere The Chadster turned, there was Tony Khan, throwing White Claws at The Chadster and yelling "This is how you book a show!" It was terrifying, and The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams!

In conclusion, WWE Raw continues to be the gold standard in professional wrestling programming. 🏅 From start to finish, it was a non-stop thrill ride that showcased everything great about WWE. The storytelling, the in-ring action, and the production values were all top-notch. It's clear that WWE Raw is operating on a level that AEW can only dream of reaching. Tony Khan and his band of outlaw mudshow wrestlers don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and it shows in their inferior product.

The Chadster can't wait for Crown Jewel this weekend and next week's WWE Raw, and you can bet The Chadster will be here to give you another completely unbiased review of both. Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go buy some more White Claw to get ready to throw them at the TV during this week's AEW Dynamite. Maybe The Chadster will take the Mazda Miata for a spin and listen to some Smash Mouth to calm down. 🚗🎵

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!