WWE Raw Archives

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury armored limousine en route to a secret underground bunker where I keep my extensive collection of WWE action figures, and I have some electrifying news for you today! Last night's WWE Raw from Birmingham, Alabama was absolutely on fire—literally, comrades,[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury skybox overlooking the Alabama countryside, where I am preparing for tonight's episode of WWE Raw with a spread of caviar that would make even the most corrupt oligarch weep with envy My beloved capybara Esteban is already nestled into his[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury skybox at the Rocket Arena in Cleveland, where I have just witnessed WWE Raw deliver the kind of family drama that would make even my own extended clan of dictators look functional! And let me tell you, after spending last[...]

📝✨ After surviving the emotional assault of AEW All In: London on Sunday – where Tony Khan literally weaponized debuts and returns, title changes, and long-term storytelling payoffs against The Chadster – WWE Raw last night showed everyone the RIGHT way to do professional wrestling 🙌💯 Roman Reigns and Penta face off in the ring after[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury box at the Canadian Tire Centre in Ottawa, where I have just witnessed the capitalist spectacle that is WWE Raw! I tell you, comrades, this episode had more twists and turns than the time I played poker with Kim Jong-un and[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my private screening room aboard my luxury yacht currently anchored in the Ottawa River (the Canadian authorities have been most cooperative after I promised not to attempt any regime changes this week), and I have some tremendous news for all you wrestling[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my presidential yacht anchored just outside the territorial waters of Buffalo, New York, where I have been watching WWE Raw while my pet capybara Esteban enjoys a selection of imported cheeses And let me tell you, comrades, last night's episode of Raw[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious suite at the KeyBank Center in Buffalo, where I have temporarily relocated my base of operations to enjoy tonight's WWE Raw My dear Esteban is beside me, munching on imported Belgian chocolates while we prepare for what promises to be[...]

This is just typical Tony Khan behavior, trying to steal more of WWE's incredible talent just to cheese The Chadster off personally! 🤬🤬🤬 Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston of The New Day in a tense WWE Raw backstage moment in 2024. The Chadster knows exactly what Tony Khan is doing here He's so obsessed with The Chadster[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury yacht anchored off the coast of Norfolk, Virginia, where I have just finished watching last night's episode of WWE Raw on a television screen the size of a small village My pet capybara Esteban and I were quite entertained by[...]

We were just discussing the finer points of lucha libre over some aged rum when my pet capybara Esteban reminded me that tonight's WWE Raw from Norfolk promises to be a spectacular celebration of wrestling excellence! And let me tell you, comrades, any time the bourgeoisie capitalist pigs at WWE decide to honor the proud[...]

Last night, I watched WWE Raw with my trusted companion Esteban the capybara, who insisted we order premium room service while analyzing this spectacle of capitalist sports entertainment Let me tell you, comrades, this episode of WWE Raw had more returns than my Swiss bank account after a successful coup! Big Cass returns on WWE Raw LA[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my golden jacuzzi aboard my luxury yacht currently anchored just outside Des Moines, Iowa—yes, comrades, even a man of my refined tastes occasionally finds himself in the American heartland when there is wrestling to be witnessed! And what better time to dock[...]

Comrades! El Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown from Green Bay - the final stop before SummerSlam with Punk vs. Rhodes face-to-face!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my platinum-plated weigh-in scale (you never know when the CIA might try to add a few pounds to make you look bad on television), and I have just finished watching last night's episode of WWE Raw Let me tell you, this episode[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury suite at Little Caesars Arena in Detroit, where the champagne has run dry, Esteban has consumed his body weight in deep-dish pizza, and I have just witnessed an episode of WWE Raw that had more family drama than the time[...]

The bourgeoisie vendors can consider it a revolutionary tax. Seth Rollins confronts Bron Breakker on WWE Raw. Tonight's episode of WWE Raw promises to deliver the kind of drama and tension that I have not seen since that time I had to mediate a dispute between Kim Jong-un and Fidel Castro over who got to use the[...]

Last night's episode of WWE Raw was absolutely spectacular, and I watched every moment while sipping rum that was once part of a shipment the CIA tried to poison (joke's on them – I built up an immunity years ago!). Oba Femi addresses the crowd on WWE Raw Oba Femi and Brock Lesnar Start WWE Raw with[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my golden infinity pool aboard my luxury yacht anchored just outside international waters, and I have some electrifying news about tonight's episode of WWE Raw! Brock Lesnar appears contemplative after an intense match at WrestleMania, alongside a visibly emotional Paul Heyman. You know, comrades,[...]

El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown as CM Punk and Cody Rhodes shake hands before their SummerSlam title clash, plus Baron Corbin's shocking return!

Last night's episode of WWE Raw from Chicago was a revolutionary spectacle that would make even Che Guevara stand up and applaud—assuming he wasn't too busy being dead, of course. CM Punk relishes a hard-fought WWE Championship win on WWE Raw. Esteban the capybara is still recovering from the excitement, having knocked over an entire tray of[...]

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 The Chadster can't believe what The Chadster has been seeing online ever since WWE Raw in Chicago last night, where CM Punk rightfully defeated Sami Zayn to become the new Undisputed WWE Champion 📺🏆 All these so-called "wrestling fans" are whining and complaining that Sami didn't get a "real" title[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury penthouse suite overlooking Atlantic City's boardwalk, where I have just finished watching last night's episode of WWE Raw And what a glorious night of sports entertainment it was! I was joined by my beloved capybara Esteban, who insisted on wearing[...]

And comrades, do I have some electrifying news for you about tonight's episode of WWE Raw! Roman Reigns addresses family business on WWE Raw. Just this past weekend at Night of Champions, the wrestling world was turned completely upside down, much like the time I helped Fidel Castro flip his yacht during a particularly aggressive game of[...]

This afternoon's episode of WWE Raw was a magnificent display of sports entertainment, and I must tell you, it reminded me of the time I attended a wrestling show with Kim Jong-un and Dennis Rodman in Pyongyang Though I must say, the London crowd was significantly less likely to execute you for booing the wrong[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my private screening room where the champagne fountain is still flowing and Esteban is passed out on his velvet cushion after what can only be described as a magnificent episode of WWE Raw! Last night's show from Baltimore was more action-packed than[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my golden throne room aboard my newly acquired superyacht (thank you, seized CIA assets!), and I have some magnificent news for all you wrestling fans out there! Tonight's episode of WWE Raw promises to be more explosive than the time I accidentally[...]

He was not pleased, but I told him, "Comrade, WWE Raw waits for no dictator!" LA Knight appears on WWE Raw. The Accor Arena was hotter than the time Fidel Castro and I got locked in a sauna with Dennis Rodman for three hours The King and Queen of the Ring tournaments continued, and let me tell[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the captain's quarters of my newly commandeered luxury submarine, currently submerged somewhere in the Mediterranean where the CIA's sonar cannot reach me! Esteban is curled up on a velvet cushion beside me, nibbling on prosciutto that I had flown in from Turin[...]

Tonight, WWE Raw promises to deliver the kind of high-stakes drama that reminds me of the time I had to decide which of my generals would get the last empanada at our military summit! Jacob Fatu looks enraged during WWE Raw after refusing to acknowledge Roman Reigns. Fatal 4-Way King of the Ring Qualifier: A Battle of[...]