The countdown to two days off for Jude Terror with no wrestling to watch and recap is almost at an end. All we have to do is finish recapping this episode of Smackdown! So let's not waste any time.
WWE Smackdown Report for September 11, 2020 Part 2
We see a video for the woman in the high heels that we saw last week. This time we see her body and long blonde hair as she gets dressed and dons a fur coat. No, look at her face yet, though.
Otis and John Morrison are in the ring. Tucker is at ringside, and Miz is on commentary. Somehow, I've resisted the urge to change the channel. Michael Cole really tests me, though, showing a recap of the antics between Otis and Tucker and Miz and Morrison from last week.
Otis vs. John Morrison
- What did I do to deserve having to watch this match? Is it because I'm getting two days off from recapping this weekend? Is this the price I have to pay?
- Thankfully, the match is short. Basically, it was all a ruse, so Miz could steal the Money in the Bank lunchbox, which we learned last week is where Otis keeps the contract so he can store food in the briefcase.
- But John Morrison gets squashed by Otis as a result.
Well, at least it's over. A Progressive Match Flo recaps the attack on Big E last week that took him out of action. Michael Cole tells us to watch Talking Smack tomorrow morning for an update on Big E's condition. Then we get another Firefly Funhouse promo, and Smackdown takes another commercial break.
Backstage, Tucker is leading Otis after The Miz, but Otis tells him to calm down. It turns out Miz has one lunchbox, but the real lunchbox is inside the briefcase. Otis pulls out the Money in the Bank contract and eats it. Elsewhere, Miz and Morrison open the lunchbox to find an apple core. Miz whips out his phone and says he's calling in a favor. Thrilling.
Bray Wyatt is in the Funhouse, which is decorated for a welcome party. Bray reminds us that, thanks to Roman Reigns, something special is missing from the Funhouse. But Wyatt says everybody handles loss, and how you do defines the person you become. He has a box, and inside is the newest member of the Firefly Funhouse. This new member has overcome so much in his life to make it this far. He opens the box, and it's Pasqually the Persevering Parrot. But the parrot doesn't want to come out of the box. Wyatt looks in the box and looks freaked.
A technical difficulties graphic interrupts–then Wyatt is back. He says he should have cut some holes in the box. Oh well. He tosses it aside. Vince McMahon puppet shows up. "What the my home is going on around here? You've lost the universal championship, you've lost the persevering parrot, and most of all, you've lost my trust." He's about to fire Wyatt if he doesn't fully cooperate. Wyatt agrees. Vince introduces the special advisor to the firefly funhouse. It's a walrus in a suit, mocking Paul Heyman.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Wobbly Walrus."
"This is suck good @#$%," says McMahon. "Oh no!" says Wyatt. "To be continued," says a graphic.
King Corbin is carried to the ring on his palanquin. The Sheamus comes out, looking bloated with all the Jeff Hardy piss he's been drinking. Oh my god! It all makes sense! Sheamus is like a piss vampire. As he gains in power, Jeff Hardy has been getting dehydrated. It also explains why Sheamus is so pale. Smackdown takes a commercial break.
Baron Corbin and Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns and Jey Uso
- Jey Uso comes out before Reigns, and the match starts before Roman bothers to come out. I guess coming out late is Roman's new gimmick.
- Corbin and Sheamus are very pleased to have Uso to themselves.
- The match goes as you'd expect. Corbin and Sheamus being as cheap as possible, but Uso having moments where he makes a heroic comeback and takes on both of them.
- Sheamus hits the White Noise (which he calls the Irish Curse) and sets up for a Brogue Kick, and that's when Roman makes his entrance.
- A fired-up Uso takes out Sheamus and hits a dive on Corbin outside. Then back inside, Uso climbs to the top rope and hits a splash on Sheamus, but Roman made a blind tag while he was on the ropes.
- Roman hits the spear and gets the pin. "Roman shows up and wins," says Michael Cole, stating the obvious. "Hey, that's what his shirt says," adds Graves.
Roman leaves. So his new gimmick is that he's WCW era, Kevin Nash? Work as little as possible, get the win, leave quickly? Excellent. Uso follows Roman up the ramp and raises Roman's arm, which is holding the belt. Roman doesn't look like he appreciates that. Heel Roman is the best.
Well, that's it. Aside from anything involving Heavy Machinery or Miz and Morrison, it was a decent episode of Smackdown. Not as much happened as last week, but last week was always gonna be hard to top. Heel Roman is working. The Sasha/Bayley storyline has advanced. The stuff with Alexa Bliss and Bray Wyatt has been good. I'm mildly interested in seeing who the mysterious high heels woman is. The love triangle between AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy, and Sami Zayn is fun, and has an additional wrinkle now of Jeff being "dehydrated." I don't care either way about all the nonsense with Lucha House Party, Street Profits, and Cesaro/Nakamura. But still, in the end, an above-average episode of WWE Smackdown, in my opinion.
Now, if no one minds, I'm going to enjoy two days of not having to watch and any wrestling.
Didn't Get Enough Smackdown?
This post is part of a multi-part series: WWE Smackdown Report for September 11, 2020.