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BATMAN INC: The Batmen Of The Southern Common Market

Next week, DC publish Batman Inc, as Bruce Wayne spreads the Batman franchise around the world.

But it seems a number of people have beaten him to it.

From Cha-Cha-Cha, the mid-nineties Argentinian TV show, here come the Batmen Of The Southern Common Market, courtesy of the creator of Fat Argentinian Batman, Alfredo Casero.

With a passable, if increasingly bizarre, attempt at a transcript translation below.

SIGN: First convention of Batmen from the Mercosur (Southern Common Market)

ARGENTINA: Did you also get these gifts? Last year, when it was in Uruguay… They did it in Fray Bentos, because there wasn't a Southern Common Market. See here? You can put a sticker here, and if you have a birthday, or it's New Year and you have no presents, you can use it and you end up looking great.

– – – – –

ARGENTINA: Be careful. Hooray for Perón! Hooray for Perón!

– – – – –

ARGENTINA: Where's you batcave in Uruguay?

URUGUAY: Fray Bentos.

PARAGUAY: Mariscal Estigarribia. The batcave. You have to go right and enter…

ARGENTINA: That's 7, 8 kilometres from Asunción.

PARAGUAY: It's nice. You go in the bat-bicycle. Fast.

– – – – –

OLD: My sons! The bat-gathering starts. Let's go. You've eaten too much.

PARAGUAY: This fat Batman ate all, I didn't eat a thing.

ARGENTINA: (in portuguese) Do you have a woman?

BRAZIL: I have two women. They're waiting outside… (mumbling)

ARGENTINA: It's the plurality of Batman. Don't, kid! This is a Batmen gathering only. That's the end of it. You sit there and later, if they let you, you can come in. If they don't, you can't. Stay here and watch the food. And don't drink the champagne or I'll have to carry you drunk and then I'll have problems with your mother.

– – – – –

ARGENTINA: If I may, I'll mention a subject we talked in our last gathering, in 1989 on Aldo Bonsi, where we talked with our partners of the 62 organizations, and with the permission of senator Martiarena, we submit a petition to Batman International to finance the small needs of the Batmen of the Souther Common Market. Like our friend from Paraguay, who'll explain his problem.

PARAGUAY: I wanted to salute all of you, and pass Robin's greeting. We have several problems with the heat. These clothes are so warm, we can't stand it. In Paraguayan Chaco, if you have problems, it doesn't resist lizards. And it's uncomfortable for doing the groceries.

ARGENTINA: We also manifest that the problems of our Uruguayan mate are…

ROBIN: Mr. president, there's a man dressed like a clown who wants to enter.

SUPERMAN: (in english) Excuse me. Good eveing. I would please ask you if you could keep your voices down. We are having a reuinion next door, I would appreciate it

PARAGUAY: I didn't get what you said.

SUPERMAN (in english) I said to keep your voices down

PARAGUAY: (insults in fake Guaraní language)

ARGENTINA: Go home, shitty gringo!

ARGENTINA: Asshole alien!

URUGUAY: Homosexuality! Homosexuality!

SUPERMAN (in english) Thank you. Thank you.

ARGENTINA: I ask you please… I demand a central mobilization against these yankee empire that only keeps a bad image. Because we could name ourselves "Murciélago (bat) Man" and…

– – – – –

ALL: Sing the Peronist march.

Thanks to Ignacio Alcuri from Montevideo.

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