Posted in: Comics, News With Benefits, Satire | Tagged: daredevil, marvel, teasers

Everything You Knew About Daredevil's Cancellation Was Wrong

Published Tue, 11 Dec 2018 17:00:50 -0600

Last updated Fri, 01 Nov 2019 18:53:28 -0500

All day long, Marvel has been releasing teaser after teaser threatening to rewrite the history of the Marvel Universe in March 2019, creating a veritable feeding frenzy in the clickbait comics media as websites scramble to post the latest teaser and get the clicks before their competitors, which of course works out in Marvel favor by promoting whatever this dumb super-mega-crossover event or whatever is for free instead of making them pay for advertising.

But trying to compete for scraps tossed from Marvel's table is a fool's errand, especially when we can just use photoshop ourselves as well as any unpaid Marvel intern. So Bleeding Cool has been making some of our own Marvel teasers, leaving our competitors who only post real teasers in the dust. Which teasers are real and which are fake? We'll leave that to you to figure out.

We've already seen a teaser threatening to rewrite how the Fantastic Four got their powers, one threatening to rewrite the Spider-Man No More story, one threatening to rewrite The Avengers finding Captain America in the ice, one threatening to rewrite the parentage of Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch by revealing that Magneto @#$%ed a cow, one messing with the Dark Phoenix Saga, and one which threatens to retcon the retcon of Jean Grey revealing Iceman is gay.

The latest teaser that either Marvel has sent us or we've completely fabricate appears to question the origins of the Man Without Fear, Daredevil, who gained his powers when blinded in a chemical spill. But what if there was some malevolent entity behind the events of that fateful day? What if someone has been shaping the Marvel Universe to their whims all along? And what if it's this massive retcon that made it impossible for Marvel and Netflix to continue producing Daredevil seasons, forcing them to cancel the beloved show? What if, now that Ben Affleck is almost certainly out as Batman as Warner Bros retools the DC cinematic universe, Marvel is finally able to bring him back to revive the Daredevil movie franchise?

What evidence do we have to make such wild speculations? Absolutely none, but if Marvel didn't want us to jump to conclusions, they shouldn't have paid an intern zero dollars to photoshop a bunch of teasers threatening to "destroy" Marvel history, now should they have?

Gods willing, we'll learn more soon.