Okay, okay, yes, usually, I get these things out on Monday. But do you know how much wrestling there was to recap last week? A lot of wrestling. And wrestling, as we all know, is superior to comics in every way. But the X-Men are still cool, and there were four X-books out last week: X-Men #11, iWolverine 2020 #2, Hellions #3, and X-Factor #2. And I'm gonna tell you what happened in every one.
Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.
(W) Zeb Wells (A/CA) Stephen Segovia
MAD AS HELL!
Krakoa's resident rabble are up against the grand dame of the damned – the Goblin Queen, Madelyne Pryor! Talk about a return that could raise some havoc!
In Shops: Aug 26, 2020
Hellions #3 Recap
The issue opens with Madelyne Pryor recapping her life story to Havok after magicking his mouth shut. He rips his mouth open and complains about those Outback Years issues of X-Men where he had the hots for her, and then Inferno happened and how he's sick of her being obsessed with his brother. They make out, bloody mouth and all.
Psylocke and Wild Child fight. Psylocke tries to dominate him with her psychic knife (it's not as sexy as it sounds), but that just kills all of his higher functions, leaving only his animal instinct (it's not as sexy as it sounds).
Havok suggests that Madelyne's messed up Marauder clones could eat Greycrow, but she wants to save him for herself. He ignores her. She orders the messed up clone Arclight to cut off her own hand and eat it. That gets his attention. Madelyne is still mad that Greycrow shot her and stole her baby back in the 1980s. Really though, she blames Sinister for making all of this happen. She and Havok leave, and Arclight eats her own hand.
In the Psylocke and Wild Child fight, Psylocke snaps Wild Child's neck, but it doesn't kill him. It's like when The Fiend does the neck-snapping move in WWE. A prose page was written by (I think) Beast talks about how Sinister thinks he's controlling Psylocke but how Psylocke probably has plans of her own.
Back at the orphanage, Madelyne complains about not being invited to Krakoa. She's gonna have to take Havok's head and throw it at their feet as punishment. Havok agrees. She's also gonna release all the clones and send them to Krakoa on a murder spree.
Arclight prepares to eat Greycrow. The rest of the clone Marauders beat the crap out of Orphan-Maker. Things aren't looking good… except for Psylocke, who has finally tamed Wild Child. They set off to fix things, but that will have to be the next issue.
Lots of great, senseless violence in this issue, somewhat dampened by the coloring. Have I mentioned lately how much I hate modern coloring techniques? Why is everything so shiny? This is not a shiny book. Other than that, I do have to kinda side with Madelyne here. Based on all the other villains that have been accepted on Krakoa, why hasn't she been invited? I guess you could argue she's a clone and, therefore, not a pure mutant. But that's really just a technicality. Then again, I also think they should have let Deadpool in.
Read more X-ual Healing here:
This post is part of a multi-part series: X-ual Healing X-Men Recaps for Week of August 26th, 2020.
- Just When You Thought the Crossover Tie-In was Over – X-Men #11 [XH]
- A Reminder the 2020 Event is Still Going on – iWolverine 2020 #2 [XH]
- A Compelling Debate on Krakoan Discrimination – Hellions #3 [XH]
- Mojorworld No Longer Satire, Just a Copy of Earth – X-Factor #2 [XH]