Donny Cates Receives Three Absolutely Perfect Birthday Gifts

Today is the most important holiday in all of comics! That's right, it's the birthday of global entertainment superstar, fashion icon, and former Bleeding Cool reporter Donny Cates. And the Absolute Carnage writer is having a pretty great day, by all accounts. That's because Cates has received three of the greatest gifts anyone could ask for on their birthday!

First, Donny learned that the first issue of Absolute Carnage was the number one selling book of August, even beating out Jonathan Hickman's X-Men relaunch!

That's a pretty great gift from all of Donny's hardcore fans, a group colloquially known as Catesbronies! But Donny wasn't done yet. The superstar writer also received a gift from his bride-to-be, Megan Hutchinson, a replica Captain America shield!

And Donny was appropriately appreciative of that to, even posing for this stunning photograph, showing he looks good in red, white, and blue (or black and white, as the case may be). Of course, as Bleeding Cool EX-X-XCLUSIVELY broke the story earlier this month, Donny and Megan will get married in the wedding of the century on Halloween at Lucca in Italy. Will Donny wear the shield to the altar?

So what's the third great gift, you ask? Well, Donny hasn't gotten that one yet, but he's about to right now. Look, we know it's not as nice as buying a crapload of copies of Absolute Carnage to make it a number one bestseller or shelling out big bucks for an expensive superhero accessory… but it's the thought that counts, right? Right?! So we made you this card.

Donny Cates Receives Three Greatest Birthday Gifts

You can thank us later. And listen, we're not saying that we're going to cry if you don't print this out, hang it on your fridge, and tweet a photo, but… no, actually that is what we're saying. We'll be basically heartbroken. But we know you won't let us down.

Happy Birthday, Donny! And we hope our readers will make their own Happy Birthday Donny cards and post them in the comments as well.

As always, stay tuned to Bleeding Cool's Donny Cates Equals Clicks, the number one gossip column on the internet for all the latest news and rumors about Donny Cates' personal life.

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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